naturalmusic on Jul 25th 2011 06:50 pm
So, here it is, I eat too much. I eat a lot of dairy and sugar and sodium. I don’t exercise as much as I could. I’m tired and use that as an excuse to not exercise. I binge eat. I get depressed or nervous, and thoughts of chocolaty sugary, salty treats start swimming in my head. I feel guilty for eating and then have anxiety about what I ate. I start this negative loop in my head, and it’s hard to stop it. I feel sad about my apparent inability to change my life.
I realized earlier this year that I HAD to change. I had to start eating better and exercise. I couldn’t move into my 30s weighing over 200lbs. I’ve always been overweight, always been an emotional eater. I want to get that under control. I tried starting small. I started trying to add more fruits and veggies. But the exercise is just not happening. On the weekends, I drink too much alcohol sometimes, and it’s filled with carbs and meats.
I’m also hopelessly addicted to caffeine. I have it all day almost everyday. I used to be sensitive to caffeine, just one diet coke (chemical drink) in the afternoon would disrupt my sleep. I didn’t have it every day and certainly didn’t have to have it first thing in the morning. Since graduate school started, I have been drinking coffee every day, have some in the midmorning, then again in the afternoon. I dislike it. I hate that addict brain itch that makes me preoccupied with getting some caffeine.
I have access to many fruits and vegetables, I’m an avid gardener. I eat them but also too much cheese, and meats. I love meats. they’re yummy. all the animals are yummy to me.
So, I see all these things I am doing wrong, and I get dismayed. I see so many changes I need to make and then I don’t follow through, and I get depressed. I then binge eat. Awesome.
Well, that’s a start. More to come. Thanks for listening.