I’m Losin’ It

It really has been so long. So long since I wrote a blog. So long since I’ve so much as tried to lose weight. A LOT has been going on. My son finally got his kidney transplant (thank God), my husband got a big promotion, and I seem to have given up all together on myself. I’m not sure how this happened but I know I don’t like it. So today I take myself back and get moving (literally). I know how to do this for myself, I just need to find some more will power I guess. I need motivation. Maybe I need to hire someone to yell at me and make me work out. I think we all have those friends that we always say we’re going to work out with and they say they’re going to “make” you do it then it turns out that they are more flakey than you are when it comes to fitness. This is my sister in law. She is on a new diet every week but never sticks with it for more than a day or two. Then I thought to myself, I’m no better about it all. That was a pretty big realization for me. I’m not sure what the best course of action is at this point. Maybe its time to join gym. Maybe its time to join weight watchers. I honestly don’t know at this point. Its time to do some soul searching and figure out what to do with myself and then get it done.

Its been a hard week emotionally. We lost a family member this week and its taking its toll. My husbands grandmother passed away, she was the kindest, most caring person I’ve ever had the joy of knowing. I’m an emotional eater so it has been really hard to not fall back into that. I’ve lost two pounds this week, I have kept on track with my work outs and all in all I feel very accomplished. My will is winning over my old habbits. Now I just need to get through this weekend without giving in to all the comfort food people have started bringing in mass amounts.

Don’t take anything for granted…

…and it makes me so happy. I was looking in the mirror today and I noticed that my face is starting to change. My second chin (gross) is starting to shrink. Then I started thinking about how thrusday a friend of mine said “your boobs are getting smaller”. This got me to thinking about some clothes that I have in my closet and I started to wonder. I put on my big girl (no pun intended) panties, and I tried some stuff on. I have this dress that a friend bought for herself but she is very tall and it was too short for her so she gave it to me. When she first gave it to me it wouldnt zip past a certain point. I took it home and put it up with all of my other too small clothes that I stare at everyday. I pulled the dress over my head and then began to wiggle it down over my huge butt (i’ll address that in a minute). I pulled the zipper up and it went right up no trouble at all. Infact it was a bit loose up top. I was amazed. Then I looked in the mirror and could for sure tell my stomach is getting smaller, another win! Then I got to my butt. It must have gotten a bit smaller because I couldn’t pull it down when I first got this dress, but I still cannot wear this dress in public. It is soooo tight around my butt. It looked the way beyonces looks when she wears tight clothes. (not nearly as good but like a big bubble) My butt honest to God might have its own zip code. Now I need to figure out how to work some of that off. Another dress that was about a year and a half old fit me again too, and I love that dress. Its not as tight around the butt and legs but it is still very pronounced… anyway I’m excited about the dresses fitting it was a great feeling. I even called my mom to tell her about it. Exciting day for me today, inspired me to keep working.

Eesh. Why is it so hard? Temptations everywhere I go and the past two days I’m giving in to them. I need to get back on track if i’m going to make my deadline that I’ve set for myself. I’m ready to start walking, but I need a walking buddy and no one wants to do it with me. That stinks, I suppose I could put my big girl panties on and do it by myself. I just keep picturing myself running down the street, effortless, happy, tranquil. That is my goal. Effortless running. Do you ever see those women? They are out for a run, they look so happy to be running, so peaceful while they are doing it. They probably are. I’m striving for that. I’m going to be that girl in teh cute workout clothes running down the street like its the most relaxing thing in her life. Just keep telling myself that and some day it will happen.

Peaceful running, coming soon to a mommy near you!

So I’m sitting on my couch eating a salad that I made for lunch (I love salad, always have) and I’m scrolling through pinterest and I see this thing on there that says “skinny chicks don’t eat salads”. Turns out its a book, I’m not claiming to know what the book is about because I haven’t read it, but I don’t plan to read it either.

Come on, skinny chicks don’t eat salad. I’m not eating salads because I think thats the only way to lose weight. I know better than that. Most of the time I a sandwich or something along those lunch type lines. Its bad enough that anytime I eat a salad as it is people say “oh are you on a diet?” and the mental sentance that follows next is “you should be”. I’m well aware of the amount of weight I need to lose thank you very much. No i’m not on a diet, I’m trying to change my life and ignoreant people like that just don’t help.

Maybe I’m in a bad mood today. I dont know. I’m losing my weight, slowly, the healthy way. I’m happy with my progress and I’ve set what I think is a realistic goal for myself as far as weight and time and if I could just live in my own little world where I didn’t have to deal with other people…

On a brighter less irritated note, I’ve lost another pound. I’m pretty confident that I will make my mini goal in July, maybe surpass it. That would be something.

The healthy eating is going great so far. Oatmeal and an egg for breakfast (the protein helps the full feeling last a lot longer), a good lunch full of veggies, and a well rounded dinner. I keep visualizing myself in smaller sizes and how awesome that will feel, keeing myself motivated.

So I posted before that my first mini goal is to lose 10% of my body weight. That would bring me down to the 230s. That would be the size I was after I had my twins, almost three years ago and that would be amazing.

So here is my work out, level 1 that I will be starting today:

Day1.
25 Jumping Jacks, 15 squats
day2
25jumping jacks, 15sqats
day3
25jumping jacks, 20 sqats
day 4
rest
day5
50jumping jakcs, 10 pushups (modified if needed)
day6
50jumping jakcs, 10pushups
day7
50jumping jakcs, 15PUshups
day8
rest
day9
75jumping jacks, 10lunges
day10
75jumping jakcs, 10lunges
day11
75jumping jacks, 20lunges.
day12
rest
Day13
100jumping jacks, 20crunches
day14
100 jumping jacks, 25 crunches
day15
100 jumping jacks, 30crunches

I know myself so I know it is important to start small and increase as I go. Level 2 gets into 5 minute jogs, so that is why I am going to build up as I go. I will post my level 2 as I get closer to that point. Try it out, it may work for you also.

I’ve been at a plateau for about two months. The first month I was really still trying, then I stopped trying. I decided last week to give it a better go and really go back to trying. I’m happy to say that I have lost another three pounds as of today. I must say that I’m so inspired by reading through the post about reaching goals. It is just amazing to see the change.

That being said, I’ve set myself a mini-goal, my first infact. 10% if my body weight or 26lbs. Three down, 23 more to go. I think I’ll reward myself with a new pair of jeans if I can do it by July 17. Away we go on an adventure!

So in the first post I mentioned “the events of the past three years” but really didn’t get into them. A little over three years ago I found out that I was pregnant with my first child. Two weeks after that I found out that I was having twins and I was floored. Its a crazy feeling when someone tells you that you’re having two babies. The troubles started early on, its hard on your body to carry two babies at one time. The boys, Max and Marshall, came 11 weeks early and Marshall had nurmerous health issues including Kidney failure. He has been on dialysis for two and a half years now and has had 11 surgeries so far. Wednesday morning he will have number 12. Its a ton of stress on our lives (completely worth it but stressful still the same). I think that my biggest issue is being tired. Emotionally, mentally, and physically tired. When we go into the hospital I’m away from my husband, away from my other two kids, and marshall is away from his daddy and his brothers. Lets just say it sucks any motivation to work out while i’m there completely away from me. There really is no excuse, the hospital is FULL of stairwells. The parking garage has been measured for some of the health programs so i know exactly what floor to start on and how many to go up for two miles. Its just a matter of being tired. I need to pull myself out of this slump.

Technically the journey started earlier this year… but oh well. I’m not sure anyone will actually read this but I guess we’ll find out. I’ve been over weight pretty much my entire life. The events over the past three year of my life have taken me from being overweight to way beyond that point. I’ve come to a point in my life where I don’t want to look in the miror anymore, and I really don’t want people taking pictures of me. Its sad because my kids are so young and we should have tons of pictures together at this point, but I avoid them like they are poison. The good news is I’ve also come to the point that I know I have to do something about it. I’ve lost 15 lbs so far and am ready to go the entire way. I have 105 lbs left to go. I’m not sure how long it will take but I am sure I’m ready to face it head on. Keep reading…