Why do I do this to myself. October 25, 2010
So needless to say I’m starting over again… so ….. no need to dwell on the past. we all know how this cycle goes so I wont go there..
But ok so me and my boyfriend and a few friends went to a haunted house over the weekend, it started off GREAT … so were all a little spooked having a good time just while waiting in line even. so before everything starts they have this booth to take pictures. you really don’t even get a choice you kind of have too and than at the end of the thing they show it to you and see if you want to buy them. . . . Well…. needless to say.. my picture was awful.. . I get teary eyed just talking about it. . . My gut was haning out. My chin was double layered. my shirt didn’t even go all the way over my stomach which made it all look gross. I was soooooo discusted. . It literally made me cry and I just couldn’t even look. My boyfriend joey kept saying lets buy it let’s get it and I was soooo not having that. I refused. I hate it. I had such a good time and than I saw that. . It was a real real real wake up call. I have never in my life felt so discusted with myself. .
Also , obviously this was on my mind all weekend, I kept thinking about my kids, what example am I setting because i’m lazy and can’t make a good healthy dinner for my kids?
I am so upset at myself. I wish I could rewind and do how well I was doing before. . . I felt so good about myself, I had energy, I just felt GOOD. I feel awful, my clothes aren’t fitting anymore, my gut is getting better, my chin is getting bigger… this is enough, i’m tired of it!!!
I’m changing it … I am and will, my kids need me around and if I continue this way than I … well we all know but I’m stopping it now…
My scale is in storage. I’m getting it today. I will post weight tomorrow.. bring it on.. let’s go.
Well just to add to this I’m just thinking about my whole gym time and how to fit that in to all this, I live in UTAH and so it’s freezing in the winter time and I’m trying to think what kind of stuff to do in the winter when gym time doesn’t sound appealing..
What do you guys do? any suggestions, tips, etc.