I didn’t fall off the wagon, I lost it entirely August 10, 2010
Well well well here I am again lol.
As the title of this blog states I didn’t fall of the wagon, I lost it entirely. But I am now on my quest again. I was doing so well and I just gave up. My life became very hectic, My children, my marriage, etc tons of things kept me from continuing my battle and I gave up. Admitably so now I will move on now that I have admited my fault. I realize where it took me and now what matters is here I am and ready to go.
So I am sooooo terrified of weighing in I have not done it yet. . I was re-reading my blog since it’s been so long and it really made me sad. I remember that day that I weighed in at 193 and how happy I felt. . I miss that and it really made me feel like I was accomplishing something and I did so amazingly good and where would I be if I would have just kept going!!!!! grrrr..
Anyways My husband is in jail right now so him making me dinner and always stuffing me is not an option anymore and that feels good lol. I miss him terribly and counting the days that he is out but it’s good that I can decided what my kids eat and what I eat.. I control it ALL.. So I think this will really help me in the long run.
I moved in with my long friend Heidi and her boyfriend Cory. It’s really nice and relaxing there. There is always something to do or be done so I think that where my life is at right now is perfect for the diet and lifestyle that i’m ready to do NOW. Heidi might even be interested to do it with me eventually but I know how it is and wont pressure anyone to do it. When and if she is ready she will let me know and maybe we can do it together. . . I am also excited because the house is right by the gym that I LOVE because it’s the one gym that is not totally packed all the time and it’s just mellow. and RIGHT down the street. It will be nice to get out there and do this again and use the day care there to have some me time. . awwww me time.
So I bought some Oatmeal for when I’m at work or the mornings when i’m on the go and then I have some white rice (i love it and refuse to give it up) and some vegetables for dinners. So at least for this week that’s how it’s going. I also have wheat crackers ritz for when i need to snack at work sooooo now all i need is that right mind set and then get back into my work out groove. I was doing so darn good and I really had it down pat and now i feel like i’m starting from square one again … 🙁
FOCUS on the good !!!!… Well tomorrow morning I will be weighing myself… I am sure that I am in the 200s again and that will really hurt my heart if that is the case!!!
… I miss the 193 🙁