Between school, work, and BF life has been hectic. School–I hate the class I’m in and am frustrated with my professor. He seems like a really nice person but just isn’t as clear as he needs to be. Work is always hectic but the closer we get to summer the more hectic it is. BF only in the sense that he wants to spend more and more time with me and sometimes that isn’t possible. Despite all of this today is Day 22 of being binge free. I am really proud of myself. Now I need to work on exercise!
Yeah! Life has been a hectic mess but despite that I am doing well. I am exhausted but I am surviving. I am hating school right about now and can’t wait for it to be over. I have a 6 week class beginning in a few weeks that will be 2x a week. Its a research stats class. Oh what fun and this is the busiest time of year at work. The good thing is the class ends before summer camp begins so that’s helpful.
Some evil person here on 3FC mention TBL Australia was on youtube. Mistake. I watched the entire first season last weekend and finished it earlier this week. Inspiring. I really liked Adro. Christie not so much. I also really really liked Ruth and Cat. I thought season 2 was on there too but couldn’t find it. I think I will move on to season 3. Really wanted to exercise especially since I have Jillian dvds and TBL dvds but I just looked at them bc I was so tired. Because I exercise 3 days a week as part of my job I think I will wait until the programs end in early May and pick up from there. I am toying with the outdoor bootcamp thing again.
I made it through Day 10. I changed my mind about the reward. I got the ice tea maker instead. I’m excited about it. I had today off from work. I felt productive. I went to the grocery store, did laundry, and got a mani/pedi and waxing done. I went to Whole Foods again. I felt a bit better. By the 4th time I might feel like a pro. What’s scary is last time I spent $110 and this time $88 and the only repeat products were yogurt and bananas. I think I can rein it in once I try things and decide on my must haves.
is exactly how I feel. Damn you TOM! I don’t have time for this. Can I really complain about TOM when I’ve been dealing with this for 25 years? YES!!! Otherwise I am doing well. Today is Day 10. At some point I will buy my computer games. Next up is an ice tea maker. I got my superfoods book. I need to finish my IE and Geneen Roth book first. So I have a lot of reading to do.
I have been so back and forth on this topic. I’ve always been obsessive about weighing. So when I started doing IE and they talked about the scale being a false idol and it may be best not to weigh I agreed. I decided I would only weigh quarterly. Easier said than done. I definitely have not been on the scale as much as I used to but I have not totally weaned myself from the scale. So what do I want to do? I have taken it out of its hiding place and I know I will begin weighing in because I signed up for the new TBL “Just Beachy” Challenge. I am in such a better place now that I feel okay about weighing in weekly. Hopefully this will continue to be the case for the entire challenge.
I shopped there for the first time yesterday. I felt like I was in another world. In another country but I know as I continue to go there on a weekly or bi-weekly basis I will learn my way. There were so many choices. Each time I will try some new things and then can decide what are my must haves. There was a lady doing a “random act of kindness”. She had purchased quite a few of those 80% recycled shopping bags and was giving them away. Its nice. I think I will buy 2 more the next time I go. Especially since I see beginning on Earth Day at WF the only options will be that bag, a canvas one, or recycled paper bags. I normally ask for plastic because I reuse them or donate them to food banks. I think I will purchase a couple of those Trader Joe’s permanent shopping bags too.
I should post more. Okay so after the big binge I finally got started again. I’m on Day 4. I’ve made some more decisions. That’s why this is called my evolution. I am constantly evolving, changing, problem solving, growing, etc. Okay I decided I wanted to add “superfoods” to my intuitive eating. I ordered the first book from Amazon and its on its way. I’m also using the list posted on 3FC. I want to shop for groceries differently also. I primarily shop at Giant, Safeway, and Trader Joe’s when I’m in the mood. I’ve decided I want to primarily shop at Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and farmer’s markets. I am excited about that.
Also I am finally listening to my body. I had been really struggling to stop when full. For the past three days I have ignored what my head is telling me–Have you lost your mind? You’re not eating enough food! You don’t know what you’re doing–and listened to what my stomach is telling me. That has allowed me to stop when satisfied rather than full. Its working. This entire time I was maintaining. Now I have lost 1 lb.
I am having a hard time staying off the scale. I brought it back out and will see what happens.
then binged on what was supposed to be Day 25. That was Saturday. Haven’t quite made it through another Day 1 yet. I’m working on it. I do know I am continuing to maintain because I keep getting on the damn scale! I am really thinking about getting rid of it. No scale is like a foreign concept to me. I have to really think about that one.
Today is Day 19–binge free. I’ve been having trouble along the way but I’ve been making it. Feel your fullness is what I’m having difficulty with. I knew I would because I’ve always eaten beyond full. It is the next chapter in the book. I bought my reward from www.shopunitee.com although I don’t officially earn it until I make it through tomorrow. I’m sure the shirt won’t fit now but that is okay. I got the “Live, Love, Laugh” pink thermal that Marlee Maitlin is wearing. I’m starting to think what will the next reward will be. I kinda have an idea but I need to research it.
Fit club at work began again on Thursday. Its four of us ladies. I shared my IE book so now my friend/co-worker has bought the book too. I’m excited about that because I will have someone close that will be doing the same thing as me.
I am having trouble staying off the scale. Its a work in progress. When you are normally an everyday weigher its quite tough to go cold turkey. I say my goal is to develop a healthy relationship with food and weight loss is secondary yet I’m continuing to get on the scale. I’m not living what I’m saying. I need to work on that. I know its tied into the fact that I’m such a concrete person that I want to see evidence that what I’m doing is working and that evidence is weight loss measured by the scale. I just need to put the scale away. Right now it is still sitting in the bathroom. I will put it away today. I’ve already identified a pair of jeans as my gauge. I will try them on in April rather than waiting for June because I desperately need some jeans. If they don’t fit I will try them on again in May. I will try them on again in June. I will officially weigh in June. The jeans will always be my gauge regardless if they fit or not.
10 Days binge free. I did it. I bought a journal at Target (love that store) as a reward yesterday and started writing in it today. On to my second set of 10 binge free days that I am working on. I weighed today also. I am up 3 lbs. I am very happy with that. The last time I had a ridiculous set of back to back binges I gained 16 lbs. So 3 is doable and I know it has a direct correlation to starting IE. I’ve been on and off the scale 2x today. That’s okay. I figure I need to get it out of my system because after today I will not be back on there until June 1st.
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