Okay, so here I’m thinking I’m turning over a new leaf this month…finally ready to get back in the weight loss groove. I started well, but have recently had a couple “eating stupid” phases. It’s so weird because it wasn’t my old ways (over eating at meals and occasional snacking on unhealthy stuff), it was more like borderline binging, could eat enough, wanting to eat constantly. I don’t know why I did this/felt this way, but the second little round of it happened right before TOM, so that may have contributed to it. Anyway, one step on the scale after the latest food-fest shocked me back to reality. I’ve been detoxing for the last day and a half. I probably won’t weigh myself for another couple days (as long as I stay on track), just so I don’t freak out over the numbers there as they gradually come back down.
I had just come to the conclusion last week that I’ve been settling. I’ve been settling for less healthy food, just trying to get by so I don’t gain more weight. I’ve been settling for a higher weight/body fat even though I’m not satisfied with my current body fat, just because I wasn’t willing to put in more “work”. It’s time to stop settling. The motivation comes and goes, I can’t rely on that. I’m thankful for the frequent reminders that keep popping up to bring back to mind why I want to continue to a better goal. I just got back a picture from when my dad and I went to a Father-Daughter banquet at his church. At the time I felt great, thought I looked great, but after seeing the picture I realize I’m not there yet. I’m not where I want to be physically and clearly I’m not there mentally since I’m still fighting battles with food on a regular basis.
It’s partly a mental block for me. 135 was the number I’d held up as the impossible dream for so long and now that I’m there (at least in that area), I can’t imagine being able to get down even 10-15 more pounds. It literally seems completely out of my grasp. So, my project now is to stay on track and convince myself I CAN get there and it will happen a lot faster if I stop giving in to every food temptation that comes along!
So, I was thrilled to see that I lost the mysterious weight that had recently stuck with me for a few days, but tonight I was a fool and kept eating GS cookies though I was not even close to hungry. I just wanted them, so I ate them. Not good. At all!
So, I figured, ‘Okay, well at least I still have a workout tonight so I can burn some of it off. Besides, it’s early and I can drink a bunch of water and start flushing that crap out of my system.’ I was trying not to fall into the ‘Well, I messed up, I might as well keep eating junk’ frame of mind and give myself some positive talk instead to get me back on track. Well, it worked and I went and worked out….felt great and as I’m showering afterwards the thought comes to me….”What am I doing?! Am I happy here hovering around 135 or do I want more?” I think I was trying to tell myself I want more.”
To be continued……
Okay, well…to be honest, I am still over my goal weight by a handful of pounds and I AM FRUSTRATED!!!!!! I started March out well and had dropped the couple pounds I picked up at the end of February (which was NOT my month!). The my sweet hubby suggested we eat out after his “rough day” Friday. So, I ate off plan that one meal and have been paying for it since. Everyday the weight goes UP, despite being OP. Now it’s time to get even more serious than I have been. More planning, more counting, more resisting temptation, more exercise…..and on it goes. I am about to go work on scheduling this weeks meals. My goal is 7 days IN A ROW on plan and go from there. Can I still string together 7 good days? It’s been awhile, but I know I can. It’s not like this is new to me. I guess I just got too relaxed and now my body is being mean…I’m hoping it’s just pre-TOM water weight or something along those lines. Either way, it’s NOT cool and I’m done fooling around with the 130’s.
I’m so freakin’ annoyed that I can’t go to WW at this point because my weight is too high. Friday morning my weight was in the right range, but now UGHH!!!! Time to go plan!
So, we’re going to call February a generally successful month. I have been running 3 days a week again for the last few weeks and that seems to be going well. My food choices have certainly improved from the beginning of the month. I’m pretty much back to my regular menu of food items and have started tracking (writing down) everything again. That is an important one for me, I think. I need to see what and how much I’m eating so I know what does and does not work for me. I’d gone over a month without writing down my foods and it (in my mind) gave me license to eat more junk since I wasn’t as accountable for it. I returned to healthier fare earlier in the month, but I know it’ll help to also track it just in case I get the urge to stray again. That’s not to say I won’t eat something wrong again, but I’ll write it down and hold myself accountable for those choices.
Another realization: Holding at 135 (naked morning weight) is not ideal for WW, since my goal weight there is 135 (clearly not naked late afternoon weight). So realistically, I need to hold under 133 or so to be in a safe zone for WW. As it is now, on WW days, I eat a very light breakfast and lunch and then after the meeting have a decent size supper to make up for the low cals early in the day. I’d much rather be able to eat “normal” and still be at my goal weight for the meeting. That is really my ultimate WW goal…to be so comfortably under my goal, that I can eat normal, keep my shoes on and STILL weigh in under goal.
March will be a good month to get back to outdoor running and toss in a little swimming to begin preparing for the June triathlon I’m doing. I may only do one this year, so I’d like to make it good! There’s a second one I’m considering, but we’ll see. My big fitness goal this year is completing a marathon in the fall. So, my training/exercise will focus around that most of the spring and summer. I’m still not going full-force at this point with exercise…haven’t added strength back into the mix yet, but I feel good about the slow steady progress I’m making balancing my schedule with life events. I’m really looking for March to be the month it all comes back together for me. I just struggled in February to get my groove on, but I know it was the move and getting settled in a new town, new house, etc.
Time will tell….
So, I’ve been in the crazy throws of moving the last few weeks and I haven’t thought to make time to post here….shame on me! It’s been a roller coaster ride food and exercise-wise. I’m maintaining right around 135 and I’m actually feeling pretty decent about that. I’d like to get back down a few pounds lower, but considering the unusual circumstances during the move, we’ll call it a success for the time being.
As I said, the goal is to maintain a bit lower than I am now (maybe around 128-132 or so). I think that’s doable, but my body sure seems to like this 135 range. I’ll keep you posted on my success, or lack thereof. My exercise plan is really centered around getting back to running this month. That’s it! I’m keeping it simple so I feel successful rather than overwhelmed and like a failure.
Just a super short post to share that I hit the 120’s today!! 129.6 to be exact! SOOO AWESOME!!
So, we’re closing in on the home completion. This next week should be the end of it. We’re going to contact all necessary parties to see if we can set up all the meetings, etc. It’s pretty darn exciting to get the last minute stuff arranged. Today we spent half the day looking at new mattresses for everyone. Fortunately we did find what we all wanted, so that’s one less thing to think about!
On the weight loss front, I am sitting on the very edge of my reaching my final decade. The decade I look forward to speding the rest of my life in…the 120’s. When I began, I couldn’t have dreamed of getting here, but nevertheless, here I am. Once I reach about the upper-mid 120’s, I’ll be in my ideal body fat range as well as my ideal weight range. WOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!! Anyway, it’s as if I’m starting a new life. Crazy good stuff. I loved my life before, but I didn’t know how much better it could be. I mean, WOW! Praise God!!
P.S. We are looking into getting a new puppy too which is super duper exciting! I’ll update on that later.
We found out a few days ago that they should be completely done with the house by the end of next week!! YIPEE!!! Things are kind of happening really fast right now. Today I’m trying to choose our tv, internet, and phone packages so I can get them done around the time we move in. Such expensive stuff and no easy choices…UGH!! I’m SUPER excited to get moved in!! The downside is all the bills that have racked up with new applainces, some furniture, utilities (getting the propane filled for the 2nd time already), etc. Some of it was planned and budgeted for, but some was definitely WAY more expensive than we planned (like hooking up electricity…kinda important, though). We try to not have debt (aside from the mtg. and vehicles), so these bills are a nasty pain. They’ll all be paid soon. I just hate having them. Had to vent on that. The house looks terrific and we are SO ready to get in there. There are a few things that need to get finished up there and then once we’re in, there are a few things we’ll need to do to get it just right, but it’s gonna be GREAT!!
On to better and brighter things… I’m very near my low weight from December. :) Currently I’m at 131.0 and my December (and all time adult) low was 130.6. I thought the holiday weight would be gone within a week. It’s taken a bit longer. Obviously some of it was real weight gain from the week or more of indulgence. No surprise there, I just should’ve had more realistic expectations of the amount of time it would take to get rid of it. Maybe that’ll keep me from indulging quite so much next year. I’d like to continue making good progress for the next week or so because then things start to get crazy (crazier) around here. DH and I have an overnight date in Minneapolis next Friday night and that’s the weekend we should be able to close on our house. Then the following Tuesday the appliances are coming so we’ll be able to actually LIVE there. Wednesday (next day) we’re going to Madison, WI for a few days with DH for a conference he has. Let me just say there’s some GOOD EATS in both those cities, but I’ll use moderation! For any who have moved recently, you probably know there can be a fair amount of meals that are eaten from take-out or eating out because there’s no time (or you can’t find the dishes, etc.) to cook at home…and who wants to cook when there’s unpacking to do… I’ve already done some meal planning for that time specifically to try to combat some of this. We will probably still eat out some, but watch portions and eat the stuff we know is good and all. I don’t want to be a kill-joy during the fun of moving-in, after all. But from about the 22nd throught the end of the month will be a true test of my ability to stay OP through ANYTHING. I’ll let you know how it goes!
Just a (not-so-) little post so no one thinks I’ve fallen off the face of the earth…or off the wagon, so to speak. I did enjoy some normally restricted foods and too about a week and a half off normal exercise during Christmas. The bigger regret? The time off exercise FOR SURE. It was a bit of a struggle to re-establish that routine…talk about some muscle soreness once I began my new strength training! So, I ended up about 4-5 pounds heavier on January 2 than my lowest December weight. I’ve already sent about half of that packing and expect the rest to leave within the next week. No guilt, though. It was all planned for and thoroughly enjoyed. I allowed myself to treat holidays this year as I think I will in the future, as a maintainer. I made some mistakes, but noted them mentally. I over-did it a couple times but realized it and thought about how to handle it better next time. It was all a good lesson for the rest of my life.
I can assure you, lately I’ve been so encouraged to continue at this healthy size and weight. It’s been primarily from my children. My DD1 commented a few days ago that she loves having a skinny mom now and how she’s so glad I’m so pretty and skinny. (Totally shallow on her part, but still gotta love hearing that!) And just in the last day or so my DS mentioned how he loves how healthy I am now because I can run and keep up with him while we play. Then he told me how good I looked. Not bad comments from a ten-year-old boy!! Bless their hearts! Those kids know how to make me feel good about where I am and how hard I’ve worked to be healthy! It’s SO worth it, ya know?
Well, I’m not exactly holding steady here in this month of wonders. I’ve been more like a roller coater of ups and downs. I’m not complaining because overall it has mostly stayed right about where I want to be. So, in short, this month is going about how I expected and wanted weight-wise. I’m indulging in some treats, but not going nuts on it. For example, last Saturday was family Christmas #2 and I ate way too much for lunch (Soooo delicious!) so I wasn’t hungry for supper and just drank a lot of water the rest of the day. The scale wasn’t too bad the next day, and I definitely did not want to feel that stuffed again for a long time (or ever). Lessons learned! Another cool thing is tomorrow I have my 3rd week in a row at goal for Weight Watchers…only 3 more weeks ’til I’m a maintainer there! Woo Hoo!!!
An update on my grandma: She is out of the hospital and doing well. They have visiting nurses coming to help her 3 times a week and my aunt is there helping some too. Of course, my grandpa is doing everything he can as well. Seems she’s feeling a little better every day, praise God!
House update: We get to start painting Wednesday or Thursday. I’m leaning toward Thursday since we have no plans, but the weather seems to want to foil my plans. They’re talking a big blizzard here Wed night-Fri night with over a foot of snow. Anyway, we get about a week to paint and then the flooring starts to go in. The house looks fantastic inside and out (to me anyway). I’m so thrilled with the results at this point and I’m SO spastically excited to go in and add some color and make my mark on it!! As far as I know we’re still looking to get in by Feb, but things have gone really smoothly so I’m hoping and praying for a little sooner!
