so it hasn’t been plain sailing, but i never expected it to be. I am realizing that this journey is so much more than just cutting down on how much I eat, whilst also being that simple.
the first month went well, then I had my first blip. it was around the time of a difficult anniversary.
On the 9th feb it should have been my best friends daughters birthday. Emma should have been 10 but tragically she died at only 22 months old.
I spent the day thinking of her and having those internal conversations with myself about how unfair life is.
it also got me thinking about my weight loss journey. When Emma died, I had just got down to 160 lbs, after 8 months of really rigid following of the Atkins diet.
Emmas death was sadly also the catalist to me regaining all and more weight. my Friend had such a hard time, and as friends stopped calling, I was the one who remained , but it took its toll on me. i dont regret being there for her and i would do it again 100 times, but I listened comforted and supported her whilst not having any where to vent my own distress.
it wasnt till i was posting on the forum that I started thinking about it that i thought about my weight in relation to Emma. and I am no way blaming the situation, its just that emotional eating is such a way of life for me.
so in true Moozie form I ate that week- but not bingeing, so maybe a modified Moozie form!!….and of course It dragged out a bit.
normally that would have been it, hit a wall and decide its too hard to climb over. But this time I logged back into the forum and read the posts. there was a post that included- hey Moozie are you still there? that was enough to get me back on track. So I posted and got back into the swing of IF again.
I did weigh myself as i had decided to do so every 2 weeks and i stayed the same- so no weight gained, a mini miracle! I then got back on track with the IF, but have to say i was finding it hard to always fit in the 2 24 hr fasts so I have had a jiggle and am now combining fast5 and Eat Stop Eat. It feels like it fits in soo much better. I do a 24 hr fast on one of my long days, i have 2 days eating normally and then 4 days of eating from 5pm-10pm. if i feel like it i will do an extra 24 hr fasts but no pressure. so far it feels easier and i feel more in control and so much more aware of when i am feeling hungry instead of just wanting food.
so i have had a weigh in since getting back on track and lost another 3 pounds- so thats 10 in total- fantastic. I am also going to weigh every week for the next couple of weeks, to make sure that I have got the balance of what im eating. I am also not looking for big losses, just a pound a week will make me happy.
so onward and downward.