2 months in, lessons learnt.

so it hasn’t been plain sailing, but i never expected it to be. I am realizing that this journey is so much more than just cutting down on how much I eat, whilst also being that simple.

the first month went well, then I had my first blip. it was around the time of a difficult anniversary.

On the 9th feb it should have been my best friends daughters birthday. Emma should have been 10 but tragically she died at only 22 months old.
I spent the day thinking of her and having those internal conversations with myself about how unfair life is.
it also got me thinking about my weight loss journey. When Emma died, I had just got down to 160 lbs, after 8 months of really rigid following of the Atkins diet.
Emmas death was sadly also the catalist to me regaining all and more weight. my Friend had such a hard time, and as friends stopped calling, I was the one who remained , but it took its toll on me. i dont regret being there for her and i would do it again 100 times, but I listened comforted and supported her whilst not having any where to vent my own distress.
it wasnt till i was posting on the forum that I started thinking about it that i thought about my weight in relation to Emma. and I am no way blaming the situation, its just that emotional eating is such a way of life for me.

so in true Moozie form I ate that week- but not bingeing, so maybe a modified Moozie form!!….and of course It dragged out a bit.

normally that would have been it, hit a wall and decide its too hard to climb over. But this time I logged back into the forum and read the posts. there was a post that included- hey Moozie are you still there? that was enough to get me back on track. So I posted and got back into the swing of IF again.

I did weigh myself as i had decided to do so every 2 weeks and i stayed the same- so no weight gained, a mini miracle! I then got back on track with the IF, but have to say i was finding it hard to always fit in the 2 24 hr fasts so I have had a jiggle and am now combining fast5 and Eat Stop Eat. It feels like it fits in soo much better. I do a 24 hr fast on one of my long days, i have 2 days eating normally and then 4 days of eating from 5pm-10pm. if i feel like it i will do an extra 24 hr fasts but no pressure. so far it feels easier and i feel more in control and so much more aware of when i am feeling hungry instead of just wanting food.

so i have had a weigh in since getting back on track and lost another 3 pounds- so thats 10 in total- fantastic. I am also going to weigh every week for the next couple of weeks, to make sure that I have got the balance of what im eating. I am also not looking for big losses, just a pound a week will make me happy.

so onward and downward.

4th week

oops, thought i had posted this last month, but had written it a s a page !!! so it hadnt posted on my blog, so ignor the date- think this was end of january.

its been over 4 weeks now since i started my IF and its going well.

have had my birthday, which of course included lots of food and a rather huge birthday cake, but it came and went without denting my resolve or any guilt over eating far too much!!! for me thats the real joy of this program . the lack of rules, no weighing or measuring, no right or wrong foods, means that my eating days are not filled with me obsessing over what i can or cant eat.

The weird thing is that without the restrictions i am generally eating less at meal times and not picking so much between meals. I’m not saying im perfect- far from it. for instance i ate lunch out with a friend- steak sandwich and chips, then had Tikka Masala for tea. BUT i didn’t eat it all and i haven’t picked in between. before if i had been trying to lose weight, i would probably have scoffed the lot and then been so cross with myself and guilty that i would lose the plot and eat everything in sight.

this week has been an odd one. I know i am doing well. I have completed one 24hr fast and will do another tomorrow, but it feels like im not dieting. that im not doing enough. that this cant possibly be working . I know i should be ecstatic about it, as it means that this is easy to follow and is fitting into my life really well, but there is just this something in the back of my mind. Any way, i shall have to be patient and wait till monday to weigh myself so that i can see if it is working.

Since I started IF i havent told many people as i dont want the usual negative comments, or people trying to sabotage it. My family know and are great about it.they know when im on a fast and just accept it. Plus as i do the majority of it at work, it doesnt really become a problem at home.

My Mum and older Sister have both also started IF, since I told them about it. we are all weighing on 6th feb, it will be their first weigh in since starting and my second. definitely a bit of healthy competition going on! bring it on girls. seriously though, I will be so thrilled if it works for them too, because we have all struggled with our weight and we need to succeed.

so, the battle continues. I will post again after my weigh in on Monday.

First weigh in

I’ve made it through my first 2 weeks of IF and have to say that its been very straightforward and easy to follow. had a few times when I’ve been really hungry, but not always on my fast days.

Coming off the fasts have been hard, as the temptation and compulsion is to eat everything in sight, because by then I’m sooo hungry.  But i have managed to rein it in so far. I think on balance i prefer to go from breakfast to the following day lunch for my fasts, especially if I’m at work at the end.

Anyway, I have now weighed myself for the first time since i started IF and…..  ( drum roll)……….

I’ve lost 7lb!!!

I am absolutely thrilled. I didn’t think i would lose that much- though obviously I know a lot of that is water. the important thing is that its shown me that IF can work for me, and spurs me on to continue.

If I’m reading this in weeks, or months to come, I hope its because I want to remember how it felt at the beginning of the journey. if I’m reading it because I’ve slipped off the program, then I want to say- come on girl, this works. its not hard, you can lose weight and still eat what you really want on the non fast days- give it another try. you have to lose weight. you have kids who want you at their weddings and grandchildren not even thought of. if you dont do this now, you may not be alive to be part of it- remember what it was like having to grow up without Dad. without him to walk you down the aisle. you have to be there for B and A.

ok, this getting a bit heavy!! its supposed to be celebration…..I guess I’m just so desperate to succeed this time. And succeed I must………

so for now, well done me. I’m having a facial to reward myself- which I will book tomorrow.

Onwards and downwards.

end of my first week

ok, so far so good.

admittedly i am on the high i normally get when i start a new eating plan, but i don’t feel like im dieting at all.

i have managed 2 fasts this week, so guess i have reduced my weekly calorie intake by about 3000. i have eaten out twice, had a few chocolates, eaten with the family ( on my eating days) and been able to stick 100% on the fasts with no real problems.

this week hasn’t been an easy week to fit it into either, as it was my sisters 50th Bday and so ate out. but didnt go as mad as i would normally have.

was quite worried that coming off the fasts, i would be so hungry that i would eat anything in sight- but thats not been the case so far.  also i have a much better idea of what im doing now, so can plan a bit better for next week.

got the weekend to eat normally and then i will fast again on Monday.

oh yes, and i got my daughter to photograph me in all my hugeness- i cringed at the photos, but am glad its done. shes going to take more with every stone i lose. so heres me hoping that the first stone wont take too long.

eat well and prosper.

moozie

not sure what im doing here!

well, this seems like a good idea- but i have no idea what im doing.

all i know is that after 30 years of being overweight I have got to make some big changes to my life, because what im doing is only going to take me to an early grave.

at almost 47, I waver between thinking there is no point in even trying to lose weight again, to knowing that I have to. so here I am, me, blogging- god knows why!

any how- i have tried all the diets, well actually i haven’t. in my heart i have always known that most are a con. bottom line is i need to take in less food, take more exercise and stop eating without any thought.

trouble is, that when i diet I get so obsessed with what im eating- weighing, measuring, when am i going to eat next, what am i going to eat next- that all i do is think food. the more i think food, the more i want it.

the more i deny myself specific foods, the more i want them. i have often thought that of all the addictions- because that how this feels-food is the hardest to beat. why? because the others- smoking, drinking, drugs…..you can cut out all together. you don’t have to moderate, you don’t have to face it every day, its not every where you go, everyone else isn’t doing it around you. Food is everywhere, wherever you go.

So,  i have decided to try intermittent fasting, having read a bit on the internet including some blogs from those who have lost weight this way. i think its the way for me.

i think its a way that i can control my intake, without denying myself- ok that seems really contradictory, what i mean is, i either don’t eat at all- so don’t have to weigh, plan meals, think about food. and then i get to eat normally without putting on all those ridiculous restrictions that get me so obsessed.

so here I am. tentatively starting. hoping but trying not to hope. frightened of starting, frightened of failing- again. BUT also a bit excited. so here goes! wish me luck

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