So my friend and I are both overweight and we talked for about an hour yesterday how we believe that because we’re overweight the quality of guys that talks to us is poor.  She told me about a situation she experienced and I told her about a few of mine.  One being that I was invited to a party by this guy and he ended up ditching me and I had to walk home at 4am.  So I really feel motivated after having this conversation because I feel like it affirms for me what I’ve been feeling and to see someone else having the same issues it really makes me want to change.  Now I don’t want to lose weight just to get a boyfriend.  I want my quality of life to improve as a whole.  I have no incentive to stay fat.  None at all.  When I go in for job interviews ppl look like they want to automatically disqualify me based off of appearance alone.  I just am tired of getting life’s leftovers I want to have a real life!

Even though I’ve been unable to go food shopping I’ve still been pondering a menu change.  So information that I’ve come upon lately says that red meat should only be consumed 2-3 times a week and they should be lean cuts.  I haven’t been doing this at all I think rib eye is the fattest beef there is and I love it!  I also was eating red meat every other day.  However in order to move forward I have to make some changes.  I printed out a list of the leanest cuts that I will take with me to the grocery story and I also decided that I’m going to use ground turkey in many recipes that I use ground beef.  I also don’t ever eat fish.  So I decided I’m going to try halibut and salmon I tried tilapia before and I wasn’t a fan.  Hopefully when I can go back to eating right these changes will help I went on my livestrong account and put in the menu changes and the fat, cholesterol, and sodium all went down.  So I’m excited to implement these changes.

So because of my financial situation I haven’t been able to eat right because I’ve run out of food.  It’s peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for me.  It seems like things go from bad to worse.  I had a job interview Monday and I’m praying that I got the job.

Alright so today I’ve been doing pretty good about eating.  I exercised before lunch did a full hour of TaeBo it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.  Don’t get me wrong I’m sore but I didn’t realize it until 45 minutes in so why not go that last 15 minutes.  I had to force myself to eat my salad.  I didn’t eat all of it but I at least ate half of it.  I don’t like salad unless it’s drenched in salad dressing which we all know isn’t good.  So I sprinkled some lemon juice on it and ate as much as I could.  I’m making chicken for dinner so I will cut up some chicken on my salad tomorrow that will probably make it a lot easier to eat.  I got so much accomplished the beginning part of the day I feel like I need to do something to end it on a good note.  If it wasn’t so cold I would take my daughter to the park and walk while she plays but since she’s already fighting a cold I will let her stay inside.  Or maybe I’ll bundle her up really good, lol.  I just don’t want to be inactive for the rest of the day.  Already cleaned and exercised what else can I do?

So I’m documenting this, because it’s part of the reason why I’ve been binging this week.  So I graduated from my pharmacy technician program and they helped me get a job at specialty/mail order pharmacy.  So I started last Monday sat through 8 hours of training looking at power points about the company and products everyday and was then told Friday that I was fired.  And the only excuse they could come up with was that they didn’t think I was going to catch on fast enough.  They didn’t test my skills nor give me a chance.  So I was very upset.  I now have a car note that I have to pay and only worked for the company 5 days.  It’s ridiculous that people can do that to someone and not even care.  My supervisor was a real piece of work.  Had no real interaction with her but she felt the need to ask me was the information too much for my little brain.  So I’m depressed first off that I’m back to sitting in the house all day and I have to go back to square one filling out applications and praying someone calls me in for an interview.

So I haven’t been on in a while and what’s even worse is I haven’t eaten right in a while either.  I’ve been depressed and just eating everything.  I weighed in today at 393 which really hurt to see that.  I am fighting with myself and it’s a tough battle.  I have to find ways to make myself feel better that doesn’t include food.  I will post later just wanted to get on and let everyone know I’m still here.

I finally completed an advanced 60 minutes workout.  It was very tough but I did it and I am so proud of myself right now.  I am dreaming of what’s to come….

TOM has slowly made it’s way here and has helped me get rid of some of the bloating (finally).

Weight- 379  -6 pounds

Previous Measurements

Bust- 44

Waist- 47

Hips- 59

Thighs- 32

Arms- 17

Current Measurements

Bust- 44  -0 inches

Waist-46  -1 inch

Hips-58  -1inch

Thighs-31.5  -.5 inches

Arms-16.5  -.5 inches

So TOM as usual has me feeling miserable.  TOM didn’t come last month so I feel worse than I normally do.  I’m trying to workout but I just don’t have the energy.  So ready to go to the store and buy a whole bunch of chocolate and ice cream & pig out.     

Breakfast- Oatmeal Raisin Crisp cereal w/ fat free milk

Snack- Carnation Breakfast Essential w/ fat free milk

Lunch- Yogurt cup w/ granola, strawberries, & grapes

Snack- Red delicious apple

Dinner- Roasted chicken w/ potatoes & corn

Calories Consumed- 1,724

Exericse 

Gonna do TaeBo at least 30 minutes & walk to pick my daughter up from school

Calories Burned- 1,348

Net Calories- 376