So the hunger pangs are dying down.  I’m down 6.3 pounds which is good and I’m feeling better already.  I’m on day 3 it took me a few tries to get through the whole day but it’s getting easier day by day.  I definitely feel like I’m detoxing from sugar and carbs though woke up with a headache this morning.  I’m fine now I still ate right and exercised I did Biggest Loser Cardio Max today and according to my heart rate monitor I burned 462 calories.  My only problem is I’m supposed to have at least 1200 calories and I can barely make it.  You can’t have fruit after 2pm so I can’t grab a piece of fruit to snack on and I can only eat so many vegetables in a day.  You’re allowed to eat unlimited amounts of vegetables esp the green ones but personally I can’t take it.  I can’t wait til I get to the next cycle where I can have brown rice and a few more foods.  So far I think I’m doing pretty good and I do like the 6 pound loss and can’t wait to see how much more I’ll lose in the next 15 days.

So I completed my first day of the 17 day diet yesterday it took a lot of will power and motivation.  Firstly, the calories are really low for the first 17 days.  I think I barely got in 1100 calories yesterday and after dinner I was hungry.  I’m going through sugar and carbs withdrawal and I’m trying my best to not open this box of Triscuits and go to town.  I also don’t like that you can’t have fruit after 2pm and you can only have 2 servings of fruit a day and no bananas which is one of my favs.  Okay now that I’ve complained the good thing is I feel lighter today I lost 4.5 pounds of water weight.  I have noticed a decrease in yeast (I get frequent yeast infections my doctor attributes it to my diet and my weight he said sugar feeds the yeast).  I can’t wait to get to the next cycle when I can add some beef!  Chicken, fish, and ground turkey are fine but for 17 days geez!  I’m going to go to the store and get some more vegetables I can have unlimited amounts of almost all vegetables but I am not a salad person so I need some vegetables I’ll actually like.  I’m hoping this diet works out I like that it has a specific structure but I’m not sure if I can last 17 days with such few calories.

So I finally received my copy of the 17 day diet and I decided I’m going to start tomorrow the diet seems interesting to say the least.  I also went out and bought myself a steamer/rice cooker so I can steam my veggies now.  I can also put fish and chicken in it I’m sure I’ll play around with it and see what works well in it.  I also got myself a heart rate monitor it seems really nice I haven’t worked out with it yet but I’m sure I will finally get an accurate count of the calories I’m burning.  I also bought Jillian Michaels kettlebell set and a kettlebell workout from her that I’m excited to try.  So now that I bought all these things it’s time to start using them.  I haven’t been posting lately because I haven’t been eating right lately.  Yesterday I weighed myself and I was 407.5 was very disappointed but tomorrow I’m starting fresh.  I actually don’t even have a desire to eat junk food.  I’ve eaten so much crap in the last couple weeks that I don’t want it anymore.  I’m not sure what caused the sudden surge in over eating and consumption of junk food but the only thing I can do is move on.  The first phase of the 17 day diet is very strict and only allows fish, chicken, vegetables, and some fruits in the first 17 days so I’m sure I’ll lose all the weight I’ve gained these last few weeks.

So I found out today that my aunt died.  It’s sad that deaths in my family are becoming so common.  I was sad to hear the news but didn’t eat as a way to relieve my sadness.  I ate right today and exercised.  I think that’s the most important thing I can do for myself is to continue to lose weight.  My aunt had a problem with her thyroid and gained so much weight and was almost 500 pounds.  That makes three ppl in my family that have died overweight/obese.  They’re not even going to do an autopsy on my aunt because the coroner says it’s obvious what she died from.  It’s like man you’re already grieving but ppl will still say stupid remarks regardless.

So this year I’m going to change for good.  I let things throw me off track last year and I’m not going to repeat the same mistakes.  I’m tired of carrying around all this weight.  You just get to a point when enough is enough and that’s how I’m feeling.  I broke my bed because it couldn’t handle all the pressure I’m sore everyday because I stand up at work for 5-6 hours.  I just want to have a normal life and this is the year that’s going to change for me.  No more false promises to myself no more binging I’m going to eat right and workout and focus on the steps I do take forward.  I’m not going to let myself become overwhelmed with how much weight I have to lose and I’m not going to let stress dictate what I eat.

So I started taking a multivitamin last week but yesterday I started taking a vitamin B complex vitamin and TOM came!  Could be pure coincidence but I find it interesting that TOM starts on the day it normally would have ended and also starts the day that I take this vitamin.  At least something is finally happening after four months.  Now I don’t like TOM but not having TOM for four months had me feeling like crap.  It might not be an enjoyable experience but we are supposed to get rid of the waste in our bodies so hopefully when this is over I’ll feel a lot better.

So I know how it is when TOM is coming (or in my case is supposed to come) but it’s still disappointing to get on the scale and it says 392.  I’m starting to worry that TOM hasn’t come for the last few months.  Usually when this happens when it does finally come, it doesn’t leave!  Whenever this happens I’m weak and don’t have the energy to do anything.  I know I just have to keep at losing weight.  I have been overweight ever since I was a kid and ever since I was a kid I’ve had crazy out of whack hormones.  My doctor told me losing weight is going to help my hormones balance out and make me more regular.  The other problem I’m having is late night snacking.  The other day I ate a whole box of triscuits.  The entire box!  So I decided I’m not going to buy triscuits anymore.  What I’ve done for the past 2 days is if I’m hungry before I go to bed I’ll eat a granola bar.  But I still feel that after 8 or 9 o’clock I shouldn’t be eating anything.  This is going to be a process for me and hopefully I can get it under control.  I’m trying to do my best to not overeat but my stomach def tries to tell me I’m hungry and that I need something else.  I was very proud of myself the other day though.  I made pasta for dinner and that’s something I usually go overboard on.  So what I did was I ate a salad before I ate the pasta so when I finished my pasta I was pretty comfortable.  I wasn’t stuffed but I wasn’t hungry.  Drank a glass of water and I was all good.  I think another thing my body is trying to adjust to is red meat withdrawal, lol.  Everything I usually use ground beef for I use ground turkey.  And last week I only ate beef one time out the week.  This has def been an adjustment for me because I was doing beef every other day.  If I ate chicken Monday, Tuesday was going to be a beef day.  The most surprising thing of all is I haven’t have a T-Bone in weeks!  I think a T-bone steak will be something I have on a special occasion or every so often instead of how frequently I used to eat them.  I guess what I’ve pointed out to myself is I’ve made great steps toward becoming healthy so the scale might be disappointing now but I know eventually the scale will show me what I want to see.

Not weighing in today because of TOM.  Even though it doesn’t come I still have all the symptoms every month especially the water weight gain and the chocolate cravings.  Hopefully my numbers next week will be good.  My GYN assures me that as soon as I lose more weight TOM will come back  It’s been about three or four months since I had it.  I’ve added more workouts I did Biggest Loser Last Chance workout Friday and today I did Jillian Michaels’ Banish Fat Boost Metabolism.  I can tell that my body got used to doing TaeBo.  I have new body parts that are sore which is a sign that they’re being worked.  Jillian Michaels is crazy!  The workouts are really hard but with time I’ll be able to do them with no prob.

So I went to my doctor today to get a prescription for pain killers I haven’t been exercising lately because my knees and back are killing me.  So the doctor tells me maybe I should invest in some duct tape and tape my mouth so I won’t eat.  I have never wanted to punch somebody square in the face like I wanted to today.  I think the comment was rude and inappropriate and doesn’t help the situation.  So I’m telling him I’ve lost weight I used to weigh 446 pounds I got under 400 pounds and I’m working on the weight but he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say.  Then he tells me don’t eat fruit!  Are you serious?  He says fruit is fattening because it has sugar in it.  I was like to the dietitian and nutritionist I saw are wrong the food pyramid is wrong?  I decided I’m going to change doctors which sucks because my GYN is in the network so if I go somewhere else I have to change to a new GYN.  It just sucks that my primary physician is such a jerk.

So for the past couple days I have been fighting off temptation to get some ice cream.  I do it every month whenever TOM is coming (or supposed to come) I eat ice cream for a couple days but I’m trying to resist this month.  It’s very hard!