I fell off, rolled, and laid on the ground bruised and today I stood up and dusted myself off and I’m getting back on.  I gained 2 pounds last week.  All because of my Dad.  I know I can’t blame him because I made the choice to eat unhealthy food but he made me so depressed that I temporarily gave up.  I’ve been talking to this guy and we just started talking nothing serious and my dad decides to sit me down and tell me that I’m an unattractive woman because I’m fat and guys are just trying to use me for sex and he told me about mess he did when he was younger he said (and I’m editing this conversation because it was vulgar) that him and his friends messed with the fat and the ugly girls.  So basically he wants me to stop talking to this guy and wait to date when I’m smaller.  I think I cried for two hours after he finally got done talking.  I was beyond upset.  But I’m going to be strong and keep moving forward and keep dating no matter what size I am.  I have confidence in myself no matter what size I am and I know that it’s not my looks that attracts men.  I am rather thankful that men find me smart and funny and a good person to be around instead of a miserable old man like my dad who wants to make everyone else miserable.  I can’t wait to finish school and get out of his house so I don’t have to listen to him or his drama everyday.  I love these earphones I bought they block out outside noise so he just sounds like the teacher on Charlie Brown and I don’t have to be bothered with what he’s saying.  This week is going to be better and I’m not going to indulge my father and let him know he’s hurting my feelings.  I noticed when I was happy and smiling is when he wants to talk down to me because it irritates him that I’m happy.  So even if I want to cry I’m going to have the biggest smile on my face.