I definitely miss when I haven’t been working out.  I got the H1N1 vaccine and it has been kicking my behind.  I feel alot better today and hopefully by next week I’ll be back to working out.  I tried to walk on the treadmill and take a walk around my block and I felt like my chest was going to explode.  I’m definitely not a fan of flu shots and their side effects.  Hopefully since I’m feeling better my daughter will be feeling better too.  TOM will be here tomorrow and I can’t wait for that to be over because I’ve been really emotional and I’m not an emotional person like that.  I had a talk with my dad yesterday about how he talks to me and honestly we made some progress.  Just sitting down talking can really help so I hope we can talk about our differences from now on instead of reverting back to the old way.

So when I woke up today my feet weren’t so swollen so I jumped on the scale and it said 378.4.  Now yesterday I weighed in at 383.4 why couldn’t the water weight leave the day of my official weigh in.  Well anyway it feels nice to get rid of that excess water that was hurting my feet.  I had to go get my yearly and get more baby be gone pills I’m finally getting home.  I can’t rest yet I have to study for tomorrow’s quiz I’ve gotten 100 percent on all my quizzes so far.  I’m in a medical terminology class and mostly the class consists of memorizing different terms.  This is relevant because I used to not be able to remember anything it seemed like I was always in a fog and always being forgetful.  I thinking that eating right is not only good for my health it’s good for my brain.  New incentive and motivation to eat right… 4.0 GPA

Breakfast- Malt-O-Meal (still haven’t gotten tired of it) w/ 1/2 cup skim milk and 1/4 cup of splenda

Snack- Yogurt w/ strawberries and granola

Lunch- Stew made with beef neck bones, lima beans, corn, & potatoes & tomato paste (going to get some frozen cut green beans today to add to it but it tastes really good)

Snack- Apple & Cheese Stick

Dinner- Chicken wings w/ homemade mashed potatoes & broccoli (from frozen)

Today is my day of rest well from exercise at least will be cleaning and doing laundry so I will be burning calories today.

Idk if the site was down but I wasn’t able to get on for a couple days.  This week was much better for me.  I started the week off really bad eating McDonalds and Chipotle for lunch at school. But I ended really well.  I weighed in at 385.2 the week before. Tuesday when I checked my weight I was 390 which irritated me so I started eating right and yesterday I made a giant pot of stew (well it’s not giant but it’s going to last awhile) so I can take it with me for lunch.  Today I weighed in at 383.2 that’s 6.8 pounds and if I would’ve stayed on plan I would be weighing 378 you live and you learn and this mistake won’t happen again no matter how much my dad pisses me off.  Plus I don’t have money to buy fast food everyday.  I spent about the same amount of money for the ingredients for the stew as I did for that 5 piece chicken select meal at McDonalds and the chicken selects was only for one meal.  I was very inspired by Biggest Loser this week Shay lost 17 pounds that’s amazing.  Now my biggest loss in one week is 9.8 pounds I really want to shoot for 10 pounds next week but ideally if I only lose 5 I’ll be happy.  TOM is also coming next week so my expectations of TOM cooperating with me are low.  The guy that I’m talking to loves to work out and I think that is cool that we can talk about didn’t things that will help both of us.  I belong to a women’s gym so we can’t go to the gym together but maybe one day I can go running with him (yea one day in the very distant future).  It’s just nice to see someone that is supportive and helpful and is the exact opposite of my dad.

Breakfast- Malt-O-Meal w/ skim milk smart balance butter and 1/4 cup of splenda

Snack- Apple & cheese stick

Lunch- Taco Salad- lean ground beef, romaine lettuce, sliced tomato, with salsa & sour cream

Snack- (Haven’t decided yet)

Dinner- Eye of Round Steak w/ homemade mashed potatoes & corn (from frozen)

I fell off, rolled, and laid on the ground bruised and today I stood up and dusted myself off and I’m getting back on.  I gained 2 pounds last week.  All because of my Dad.  I know I can’t blame him because I made the choice to eat unhealthy food but he made me so depressed that I temporarily gave up.  I’ve been talking to this guy and we just started talking nothing serious and my dad decides to sit me down and tell me that I’m an unattractive woman because I’m fat and guys are just trying to use me for sex and he told me about mess he did when he was younger he said (and I’m editing this conversation because it was vulgar) that him and his friends messed with the fat and the ugly girls.  So basically he wants me to stop talking to this guy and wait to date when I’m smaller.  I think I cried for two hours after he finally got done talking.  I was beyond upset.  But I’m going to be strong and keep moving forward and keep dating no matter what size I am.  I have confidence in myself no matter what size I am and I know that it’s not my looks that attracts men.  I am rather thankful that men find me smart and funny and a good person to be around instead of a miserable old man like my dad who wants to make everyone else miserable.  I can’t wait to finish school and get out of his house so I don’t have to listen to him or his drama everyday.  I love these earphones I bought they block out outside noise so he just sounds like the teacher on Charlie Brown and I don’t have to be bothered with what he’s saying.  This week is going to be better and I’m not going to indulge my father and let him know he’s hurting my feelings.  I noticed when I was happy and smiling is when he wants to talk down to me because it irritates him that I’m happy.  So even if I want to cry I’m going to have the biggest smile on my face.

Haven’t posted my menu in a while been busy with school.

Breakfast- Malt-O-Meal sweetened with Splenda (Takes me back to being a kid)

Snack- Apple & Cheese Stick

Lunch- Homemade Lasagna w/ spinach (very good)

Snack- Nonfat Smoothie

Dinner- Chicken wings w/ baked potato & frozen corn

Weight 385.2 down 5.8 pounds from last week and down a total of 61.6 pounds

My measurements didn’t change at all which I was disappointed about since the trainer told me weight lifting would help me lose inches.  It’s ok last week I only lost two pounds and lost inches so everything will work itself out in the end. 

So TOM ended Sunday and I’m finally losing the water and don’t my feet feel good right now.  I hate having giant water filled feet it’s painful.  I weighed in today at 386.6 I’m happy to see the scale going down.  After breakfast I’ll be heading to the gym.  I can definitely feel the weight lifting helping me out and there’s nothing wrong with the extra calories I’m burning.  My headphones finally came so I can listen to my music while working out instead of the dance/techno music they play at the gym.  It has a good beat to keep you moving but it’s just too much.  My goal is to get up to a half hour on the elliptical machine it burns a lot of calories but whenever I get on it my heart rate jumps up way too high and I’m always afraid my chest is going to explode so I usually only do it for 10 minutes.

So today when I weighed in I was 388.  It seems like I was stuck in the low 390’s for forever and I’m glad to finally be out of them.  Thankfully I weighed and was happy this morning because I was on the bus to go to school and it was pretty crowded but a seat cleared up and I went to sit down and this skinny high school boy jumped in the seat before I could sit down.  On another note I looked at my arms, I know lifting weights for a couple days won’t have made much of a difference and I’m not sure when it happened but I looked at my arms and I can see my veins.  I could never see my veins before and it was irritating because I have a blood clotting disorder and have to get blood drawn and I was tired of nurses poking me multiple times or using that dang butterfly needle and pressing it all around in my arm.  So maybe now that my veins are starting to become visible getting blood drawn won’t be as much of an issue.  I also noticed that my belly button is getting smaller.  It seemed like I had the biggest belly button, seriously I could stick two fingers in it and people thought this was so amazing.  But now I can hardly get one finger in, I noticed that my stomach isn’t hanging as much.  I can’t wait to see how I will look another 50 pounds lighter.  I asked six people how much they thought I weighed and they all said 285 which is amazing to me that people think I look 100 pounds less than I really am, when I tell them my real weight they are shocked.  I can’t wait until I don’t have to be embarassed about my weight and about how overweight I am.  I wouldn’t feel so bad if I was a little overweight I am so tired of hearing morbidly obese, it sounds like I’m going to die tomorrow or something.  Well anyway, just posting how I’m glad about the sudden 3 pound loss and my official weigh-in day isn’t until Sunday.  And I know I didn’t post my excercise and menu for a couple days but I’ve been studying for a midterm which I think I did good on so I will be back to posting.