So of course I saw the movie I LOVED THE MOVIE and you know what I write on my status on facebook every time I see that movie? Every girl should follow this advice! But of course when we are in our own situations what do we go do…not follow our own gut instinct or advice. So I saw the book a while back and was like meh whatever right? I saw the movie and who really needs to read the book, so I settled for a book that was just as fabulous called, “the last one down the aisle wins, 10 steps to a fabulous single life which lead to a better married later”. Definitely a must read for all the single ladies out there. (but of course when you get caught up in BS around you, you tend to forget. It wasn’t long ago either I read “why men love bitches” another great book!
So of course I was mad at myself for not being the bold courageous girl I was before who could ask a guy out. Then again I began wondering why I’m so interested in wanting something so bad. When all my relationships in the past were rushed and have failed. So one of the girls had mentioned getting “He’s just not that into you” great idea and of course she mentioned it at a convenient time which was pay day so I go buy it. But before I do I have a few hours left at work to kill so I read reviews on it and one girl had mentioned it ruined her life and the only thing I could think to myself is. This book probably wasn’t for you to follow to the T it’s pretty much a guild line and use your own judgment anyways right? So now I’ve already bought the book and I talked to my best friend back home who said the book was garbage and don’t believe everything a gay guy says…Well yea I tend not to follow her judgment much on anything because she’s more screwed up when it comes to men then I am.
So my journey begins in as I start reading the book and I start getting this vomiting feeling in my stomach and this had nothing to do with the green shirt guy it all has to do, do I really want to read this because it’s probably mostly going to consume info about my ex that I should be ready to hear but I’m not. God it’s only been how long? So I start reading and the first thing it says is never ask a guy out. I get rather annoyed at that because seriously what are we in the stone ages? Because I got news for you, by doing that I’m going to be single for the rest of my life. It’s like Disney telling you Prince Charming will come, and I’m sure all you happy couples who are married to wonderful people are reading this going be patient it will happen just because it happened to you. Maybe you were the exception I’m not the exception I’m the rule I always have been the rule and that my friend may or may not change. Not to mention I’m aggressive and when I want something I go for it I’d rather not wait around to see what life has to offer to be honest. So I put the book down and after I was done being pissed off about it I picked it back up and continued on reading.
Some of the stories in there I have actually done to guys which I found pretty funny, and most of them my Ex has honestly done to me which was even more amusing. You realize it when you are in the break up process and you tell yourself these things over and over again but telling yourself is like talking to a wall so of course you don’t listen. You need to re hear or read it from another person’s point of view. After reading most of it I got half of the book done before I went out with my friend for dinner and I just thought to myself if I had of only read this two years prior would it have saved me from this heartache and pain…I don’t think so because in the end as I knew before I stayed and put up with my ex’s psycho abuse towards me because I was too scared to be alone, when in reality being with him I was more alone than ever. Then again I don’t know maybe if I had of read the book I may or may not have continued to have lack of self respect for myself. Don’t get me wrong ladies I knew when I was with him I had no self respect, or confidence but I thought it would change, it’d get better and guess what it never did. As I finished off the book I realized he’s doing the same thing to his next victim in these stories, talking to me, talking about me to her and how selfish he is in his own world, it’s like this chick should pick up this book before it’s too late. But do you think it’d help her? Probably not because like so many of us and including myself we become stupid and ignore all the red flags and signs.
Then I get to the part that was about my guy friend Sean and to be honest I did the smart thing in not continuing anything when it comes to him. After being with my ex I figured out myself worth and knew what I wanted in a guy and someone who is an alcoholic and calls me stupid and says shit to me isn’t someone I want to be with. We went out for dinner last night, we talked and I let him know exactly why I walked away, belittling me in public is a huge no no and he learned that the hard way. He told me he never called me stupid but telling me I’m an idiot because I spell words wrong and have horrible grammar and saying you can’t ever spell your own language when you speak it is being a bully, and that pisses me off because a girl at work who’s been abused her who life does the same friggen thing to me. I got to that part in the book and just smiled at myself and shook my head. Yet at the same time I was proud because I walked away, because I no longer wanted to tolerate it and I won’t. I think he learned pretty fast to, to shut the hell up. Although on an occasion we speak after finishing the book I’m pretty much done with him no matter what.
So far everything that goes on in the book is about my past relationships the mistakes I’ve already learned and am accomplishing now and still nothing of my situation with my green shirt guy. So I’m at work reading the book and it gets to this part where if a man only talks about himself and doesn’t really ask questions to get to know you…isn’t that into you. Just as I was reading this part he walks up to me and starts talking and that’s when it hit me green shirt guy just isn’t into me and the butterflies weren’t even there. I found it amazing right at that moment he walked in as I was reading it, I didn’t even notice it him and it took a moment for me to notice he was standing there talking to me. So I looked back at all my relationships and even though the men were the ones who pursued me they weren’t ever good enough for me. Of course I know that and of course I know my ex is a piece of shit and isn’t even worthy of my time now or ever.
So here I am happy and as Liz said no longer feeling like someone is punching me in the face a bazillion times anymore. I wouldn’t exactly call me a doormat, I might act like one in the beginning until I get the guy I want and then it’s a total switch I’m in control of the relationship, but I think my whole thing with this green shirt guy is, yes I was into him and who knows maybe he’s just an idiot maybe not. It doesn’t matter at this point because I may be single now, I maybe single in the next 5 years and who the hell knows I maybe single for the rest of my life, but the truth is as much as we all fear that moment and fear the moment when we have a child that we are going to be single mom’s. It doesn’t bother me to a full extent because at least I wasn’t the girl who married the wrong man who abuses and cheats on me. At least I wasn’t the girl who waited 5 years for my boyfriend to never purpose to me but leaves me and marries the next girl. And for god sakes as funny as Nikki was, at least I’m not like her in any way. When I’m in a crushing stage I’m a lot like Gigi off the movie a lot, but it’s only in the beginning and a lot of times while I’m dating I’m a lot like these guys in the book who plays her cards right. Yes I can be the gushing omg girl who really likes this cute boy and I’m interested a lot, but most of the time in the end I’m just not that into them when I get the chase over.
So maybe the book was right a guy should be chasing me. I want to feel chased (but a guy I’m interested in…all the guys that seem to chase me I’m totally not into and it’s slightly annoying, but then again guys probably think the same thing of me when I go after them.) Technically though I’m not chasing anyone I’m sitting at a desk and he comes and talks to me (about himself) and then leaves. So here’s what I’m going to do, I’m starting over a new leave, I’m creating a new email address ( I don’t want to get rid of the old one because all my shit is on that one, but at least with the new one I won’t be one the old one as much checking stuff.) I’m totally going to forget about green shirt guy and join a dating website. I might try Match.com or another free one but definitely not POF. I feel I’m down at a comfortable weight where I know I look and feel good about myself so it’s time I get back out there and start dating. Who knows maybe I’ll find prince charming or maybe I’ll still continue to get this douchebags after me, but as far as I’m concerned I think it’ll be even more easier to weed out the douchebags and start looking for someone who is worth my time and someone who will find me worthy and I really need to get the bad boy shit out of my head…seriously I’ve done that stage and look where it got me.
So to the ladies who recommended that book, thank you and to all the other woman who are like Gigi out there I suggest getting the book and reading it, it might help you along the way and remember stop thinking you’re the exception because if you were, you wouldn’t still be single.