Fuck the Scale, it’s about getting fit and being healthy is my new moto.

MY calves STILL hurt making the workout much harder to do, but I modified it and worked at it a little slowly until they were warmed up and stretched out and even then I had to be careful because I didn’t want anything to seriously rip! Not the first week getting back into this. 55 days left!  I was suppose to do C25K with a friend, but being woken up straight from a nap we ended up just hanging out and talking. To be honest I was going to skip all workouts today but 10 pm hit and I was like…Just do it and I did Pure Cardio and Cardio Abs day 5 of Insanity, I liked it. I feel great! I’m also super tired and about to go to bed.

Tomorrow is Plyo the first video after the fitness test, the one I quit at the last 15 minutes! I’m ready to kick it’s ass tomorrow! Bring it!

23rdJune

Day 4/60

Today is day 4! yep day 4 and I have to say I’m loving Insanity! I mean how can you not stay pumped up while doing this work out when Shaun is doing it as well, grunting sweating and yelling at you to keep pushing as if he’s right there in your own home! I’m not going to lie it is not an easy workout I’ve had to take numourous of breaks and motify some of the workouts when it comes to the upper body, but starting this is has been amazing, it’s exactly what I needed to get my butt back in gear! Yesterday was Cardio power and resistance and I also did 30 minutes day one of C25K! I’d like to push myself a little harder when it comes to C25K but you know what it was only day one. I’m happy I bought the app for my Iphone so much easier to work with then what a friend and I were trying to do with timing it ourselves! My calves hurt like hell but you know what totally worth it! SOO WORTH IT! If you think you’re not fit enough or if you’re stuck and need motivation or even just a change in workouts I’d suggest getting Insanity, whether you buy it or download it, GET IT!

22ndJune

Day 59…

The first cardio circuit training was Plyometric, I honeslty couldn’t finish the last 15 minutes of it but you know what on Saturday when it’s time to do it again I’ll kick it in the butt! I can’t have the all or nothing mentality I need to realize that there will be set back, there will be times I can’t finish physically but the point is at least I started and did the best I could. I’d rather not burn myself out but lets bring in the next 58 days!

Today’s workout includes Cardio Power and Resistance as well as C25K with a friend which we’ve been working on for month, but we both got lazy and now we’re both ready and willing to push each other to get to our goals!

21stJune

A raw side…

I feel like a complete loser, seriously I was down to 150 at one point! 150 pounds and I sabotaged myself. Then I was back up to 155 and thought okay 5 pounds, maintain it and I did for the longest time then BAM! 160 and when I weigh myself at night 164!!! 16fucking4! are you kidding me! Do you know how long I was stuck at 164 the scale never moved but the inches were coming off of me. I don’t know what it is My grandfather died two weeks ago and I hate sharing feelings and I always feel like I have to be strong, and I feel i’ve been okay but maybe I really haven’t clearly by the 9 pound weight gain from two weeks ago. I wasn’t going to write this blog, I figure I’ll keep it to myself in hoping that this is all just water weight, in hoping tomorrow will be a better day but you know what it’s not tomorrow yet, it’s still today and I feel like an utter failure!

I feel maybe I’m also stressed because I’m going home in July to visit family and I don’t want them to say wow you haven’t lost any weight since you left, your still fat. I want them to say I look amazing and I’m doing well and I look healthy and happy, but who can say that now? I’m 164 again and I’m fat! I don’t know what the heck is wrong with me why I completely sabotage myself and gained back 14 pounds. I’m disgusted and angry with myself at the moment. I normally shrug it off and say meh tomorrow is another day. Yes I started Insanity yesterday and I began working on my journey again with a fresh start but I can’t help but feel I failed myself. I know you only fail if you quit…but isn’t by me sabotaging myself telling myself I quit isn’t gaining back 14 pounds part of failing? I guess I’ll sleep it off and hope tomorrow I feel better and not look as bloated…

My progress over the last few months has failed. I’ve been able to maintain at 155 which I guess is better then gaining…But when I went to weight in for my biggest loser Challenge (Stupidly did it at night) I was up to 160…freaked me out and really made me start to realize what the hell am I doing. I’m going home to visit in a few weeks so I really want to show them I’ve improved and look better and yet sometimes I think I look like the same girl as I was when I was 180! I know it’s all mental tricks playing with me.

I did the Shaun T - Insanity fitness test on friday just to try it out! I think I’m going to do it again starting today and just start the whole 60 days today. Wish me luck! I’ll be posting my results and my journey of it starting tomorrow!