So it’s been a 30 day detox from my ex I deleted his email and if he emails me it get’s sent straight to my trash bin. Of course I check it once in a while (I know bad!!!  I shouldn’t be checking it ever right? Because who cares if he emails me or not…he’s just a waste of space.) Anyways I’ve also decided to STOP talking so much about my relationship of course the things I say are pretty negative there for everyone has a negative affect about it. We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend and he doesn’t want that label. Fine by me, but if there’s no label that means I’m free to date others. (He is as well) We got into a fight and “broke up” over the weekend of course it was my doing and Sunday night he came over to talk to about. At a point I figured he didn’t care, but when he said he missed me too I thought why the hell not? I need to stop being such a basket case and looking for a stupid label. I don’t even know why I’m looking for the label I’m so much damn happier to begin with when I am “single”.

He told me I was no longer the I don’t give a shit girl that I was when we first started talking. No of course not since feelings clearly started to develop how can I still be the I don’t give a shit girl? I asked him if that’s what he preferred then and he said no, but he didn’t understand why I felt the need to define this thing because everyone else is questioning it. At that I saw his point of course me getting wrapped up in myself I was like what the fuck you know? So then I asked him yesterday if we were good and of course he said “I thought you said you were going to chill out a bit?” Okay that wasn’t the point I was asking I just wanted to know a simple yes or no answer if we were good? So whatever I’m just going to lay back and chill and do my own thing, which means if I get a date with another guy I will take it. Sure were “good” but we haven’t committed to each other we’re just “hanging out” which is his terms because he doesn’t feel he should have to put effort into just wanting good company and hanging out. He feels effort shouldn’t be played in until kids are involved. Which I think is stupid because everything needs effort into it and if you’re not willing to put effort into it, then why should I? but at the same time I think he’s all talk considering he did put effort into this weekend of the fights and the talking and the everything. So it must mean he does care or else he pretty much would have said fuck it. You ended it and you’re pulling this shit we’re done, over piss off. So as much as I don’t like to read between the lines I think with this one I will have to.

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