Whitters Gettin’ Healthy

I’ve decided to take part in Eileen’s (eileen2blean) March Challenge. Hopefully I can manage to not be my usual forgetful self and actually remember to participate each day. Maybe I’ll make a page just for the challenge and keep track of my stars and stuff (to keep me motivated - Eileen is going to be keeping the “official” stats on everyone).

I think I’ve hit the point where I just feel like I’m spiraling. For so long I just ate what I wanted, and ate when I was hungry. But as we can all see, that’s why I’m at my current weight. Now I can’t eat anything that I want. I have to monitor myself, watch what I eat, plan things out, etc. And it’s driving me bat shit crazy. I am so stressed out over food that it’s not even funny. I can’t go more than an hour without thinking about food at least 4 times.

Being surrounded by people who can eat whatever they want whenever they want doesn’t help either. For example tonight at the cafe: Macaroni Bar. To the boy: a yummy plate of noodles, beef and melted cheese. To me: 2 pounds tomorrow morning. But until I’m skinny enough and healthy enough that my asthma stops trying to kill me every time I walk too fast up the stairs, I can’t go run 7 miles to burn off those that huge fattening dinner I ate. And with my leg continually acting up, just walking is becoming almost impossible.

So there I am forced to eat the same tasteless food night after night - and then he just can’t imagine why I’m so miserable. I don’t have the money to go out and buy 7 Healthy Choice meals so that I have a different dinner every night. And frankly eating JUST those kinds of food all the time isn’t healthy. So its off to the cafe with me where I end up having to get something I really don’t like because its the only damn thing in the whole place that you don’t “build” yourself and thus is the only thing that has accurate nutrition information on it.

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Weight: 252.5

Edit (7:59PM): … I don’t want to talk about it.

So today I kinda caved and ate my first not really safe food - movie theater popcorn (we went to see The Uninvited, it was stupid). At least I managed to only eat half of it (and saved the other half for a later date) and didn’t get butter on it. The woman behind the counter (who knows the boy and I quite well) was shocked. Since normally for me its a large popcorn with extra butter and cherry coke, and today I was getting a small popcorn with NO butter and a bottle of water.

I had some trouble determining quite what the calorie content would be, so I ended up just going with the highest value I found: 600cal for a small. So 1/2 of that is 300. I’m probably over-estimating, but -shrug- it still gives me something I can print out and take into my doctor on the 10th. Plus, we made it a bit better by walking to the theater and back (about 30min each way).

As you can see, I ate more “snack” today than anything. And I still didn’t hit 1200 calories. This next week I’m going to be focusing on 1) Eating breakfast and not sleeping through it, 2) Getting exercise every day, and 3) Making sure I eat enough, but that most of the calories are made up by my MEALS and not snacks.

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Breakfast: 0 Calories
Slept through

Lunch: 160 Calories
Healthy Choice Chicken & Rice (90)
Wheat Thins (70)

Dinner: 390 Calories
Honey Glazed Turkey Breast (220)
Twice Baked Potato (120)
Mixed Veggies (50)

Snacks: 610 Calories
1/2 Sm Movie Popcorn (300)
Pretzels & Cheese (310)

Total: 1160

Exercise: 1 hr
Walking to/from theater (1hr)