misscatty on Jan 9th 2012 11:49 am
Back to work, Back to Blog.
Seriously. I have had a hard time getting back on this diet wagon. I am 210 pounds, and motivation less.
Not that I don’t WANT to lose weight, there is just something holding me back. (newsflash its probably me)
So today. I shall begin my food log. Its really the only thing that helps, it sucks, I hate the obsessiveness of food and my mouth but, here she goes.
Craisins, Golden Raisins, donut glazed (stupid coffee stop at gas station when filling up)
Oatmeal, Craisins, truvia, tea, two mini candy bar thingies (dark chocolate milky way and a twix)
Unknown became: 12″ subway eggs and chese sammy with light mayo, and a 110 calorie acai berry drink.
(now, needing to realize that 12″ of sammy goodness was excessive!)
Physical Trainer: Cute and Fun… but scientifcally a little clueless.
I drink TEA, green tea, herbal tea, no caffiene kinda tea. I am not giving that up for plain water, it is not dehydrating. There are scientifc studies. I looked them up. I will however make the attempt to drink more plain water..
I also will not be giving up fat, eating fat free cream cheese, fat free eggs, or fat free milk, is atrocious. Fat is not the reason I am fat, calories are. So figuring out the caloric difference and eating them with fat will be my goal. Too many studies out there that says that your brain registers fat better then any other food source when registering “full”.
Kay’ rant done. Now to ponder why I am on my mesa…
Is it that I am not ready to be comfortable with strangers checking me out? Is it that I am not ready to realize how fat I am right now? Is it that I am uncomfortable losing weight because I am scared at wanting to lose even more, being ultimately unsatisfied?
Am I just lazy? Am I just depressed?
Is there any question that I need to look at? or any childhood moment or college moment?
I think I am going blog reading to see if anyone else has a nugget of truth that I need to have bonk me over the head.. .
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