I choose now.

14 Sep, 2010

Just a little rant.

Posted by: meowmix In: Rants

I know I said I wasn’t going to post for awhile but this ones been bugging me and I need to ‘vent’ it out.

We see it all the time, in movies, a little anorexic looking girl wolfing down a huge burger and her date says “I like it when a girl can eat like that, my wife, ex, whatever always had two bites of salad and was done.”  In books, male protagonist, “She ordered a burger and fries and ate with gusto, she even ordered a cheesecake for dessert!  It’s nice to see a girl like her can eat.”  After he describes her as petite and slim.  In commercials, sexy thin girl mac’in on some juicy burger, then some stupid line like “No girly food for me” or “My diet food” etc.  And the list goes on.

Seriously, unless we girls are lucky enough to be born with the metabolism of the gods, we aren’t going to be able to eat like that and stay these “petite” fragile little things.  Now I know that anyone can eat a burger and fries ONCE in awhile and stay thin but that’s not the message these books, movies, commercials are sending us.  They are telling us, EAT, eat the worst possible thing you can think of BUT stay thin while doing it.  How fair is that?  And these men who want this have a surprise coming after his cute little wisp has a few burgers too many.  I guess he could just squirt some AXE on himself and a few more burger lovin twigs will throw themselves at him.  UGH.

I know this is just one of those things, it’s not going to change no matter what’s said or who says it but I don’t have to like it.  It’s our society right now, it’s screaming at us to be skinny, holocaust skinny all the while throwing cheap, additive high calorie junk food at us at every turn.  It’s stupid and unfair and it ticks me off.  And now that I’ve crossed my arms, yelled and stomped my little foot a few times, I feel minutely better.

30 Aug, 2010


Posted by: meowmix In: One day closer

I doubt I have a ton of people reading my blog but I know a couple kept up with it and I’m sorry I’ve been such a bad blogger lately.  I’ve been finding it hard to do anything, even things I very much enjoyed and it takes everything I’ve got just to get up and exercise nowadays.  So blogging had taken the back seat.

I’m maintain about 125 right now not gaining nor losing which is fine with me and I plan to continue but I think I’ll be taking a little break from my blog and figured I’d let anyone know who might read it.  Not feeling very upbeat or positive atm so instead of blogging about depressing stuff I’d just as well not blog at all.

Thank you everyone for all the thoughtful comments I’ve gotten, I really do enjoy them!  I hope you are all doing well and feeling amazing!!  So until I find my happy again, keep on keeping on! 🙂

09 Aug, 2010

Peanut Butter

Posted by: meowmix In: One day closer

Some people think peanut butter is bad for diets and if you don’t count it in and eat it in large amounts I’d have to agree but I’ve eaten peanut butter almost everyday of my diet (at least most days out of the week).  Sometimes it’s just a tablespoon or 2 on a pb&j or peanut butter and honey toast or peanut butter oatmeal or some days it’s both.  I’ve gone from regular peanut butter to now only eating the all natural, only peanuts in my peanut butter, peanut butter.

I LOVE peanut butter but the last couple weeks I’ve been having MAD peanut butter cravings.  I mean the go get a spoon and start digging into the jar kinds of cravings.  I’m having one of those moments now and I just had one piece of peanut butter toast to try and curb the craving and while I’m nice and full I still want more dang peanut butter!  I think I could go in and eat the whole dang jar, if it makes me sick or not!

Anways, I don’t know where I’m going with this but I just NEED’S that peanut butter man!!!  Anyone know why someone might just start wanting unusually amounts of peanut butter?

I’ve also been craving avocados, nothing with them, just cut them open and eat em!!

09 Aug, 2010

08/09/10 Weigh in

Posted by: meowmix In: Weigh ins

It’s weigh day, today’s magic number is …


Going back down, ahh, that feels better.  Getting back on track feels amazing.  Things have been going pretty well for me, my grandparents came up this way on a road trip and stayed the day and night with us and that was nice.  I’m still working on my happy and it’s getting better.

I did, however, do something nasty to my back while cleaning up the other day.  I was moving a HUGE box of cat litter (not the box the cat use but the box the new clean litter came in from the store) and while trying to tuck it away into a corner I think I pulled something in my back.  It didn’t hurt much for 2 days but yesterday during my yoga I must have pulled it again and by the end of the day I was flat on my back hardly able to move.  Today with the help of Motrin it’s tolerable but I think my yoga and 30DS will have to go on the back burner until this get’s better.  I did extra elliptical to make up for it though.

Well, that’s about it.  I’ve got the hiccups and they are driving me crazy!  But yea, that’s it 🙂  Until next time!

02 Aug, 2010


Posted by: meowmix In: One day closer

You know you’ve been in a fog when you go to your fridge planning to make something only to find that something has gone bad, didn’t we just get that?  Where did those weeks go?  Good news is I’m starting to feel better.  Getting back into a routine and reminding myself of the reasons I have to be happy are already helping.  Looking forward to life again instead of curling up in bed wondering the point.  It’s amazing what a little positive thinking can do.  So I’ll keep it up and hopefully I’ll be back on track and happy.

As far as my weight is concerned I feel like I’m back in control.  I learned or rather relearned a couple things about my eating habits over the last couple weeks.  When I started this diet I knew that I was no good at moderation where some foods were concerned so I just cut them out completely and I can honestly say without hesitation that I did not cheat ONCE, I mean it not ONCE during my whole heavy dieting phase in fact i only very recently starting adding in a few “treats” here and there.

What have I relearned?  I still can’t do moderation when it comes to some foods, mainly sweets.  Now I went through a small 3 year old tantrum about this, stomping my foot feeling angry and aggrieved but I’ve come to terms with it because there are no sweets this world has to offer that can match the feeling I get slipping into my size 2’s, or going out and not constantly feeling my tummy poking out, wearing any top I want and not worrying about my arms or back.  And I know how bitter and aggrieved I feel EATING those sweets and NOT feeling comfortable in my own skin and I’ll take this any day.

So that’s that.  You think you’re done learning and then you learn it all over again.  Some things are off my menu again and I’m happier for it.  I no longer have to stress about why I can’t seem to control myself with this or that, it’s just not an issue anymore.  Ahhhh the relief!

02 Aug, 2010

08/02/10 Weigh in

Posted by: meowmix In: Weigh ins

Weigh day, today’s magic number is …


Back to 125 ugh!  Oh well I earned it this time with my not so good eating choices and slacking on my exercise.  So while I’d rather be 120 it could be worse and I’m going to get there.  That makes a gain for July, blah, August will be better!

Anywho, I plan to post later about a few things so right now I’m just putting my number in and getting back to my normal blogging self!

31 Jul, 2010

In a funk

Posted by: meowmix In: One day closer

Ok, so I haven’t been a very good girl lately.  I had 3 days last week where I was just down right lazy, I haven’t been on plan and while I haven’t been hitting the fast food joints or anything I haven’t been counting or doing all that great ether.  I’ve also been a bit down, noticing signs of depression sneaking in here and there.  Wanting to sleep the days away, secluding myself (going a week or more without leaving the house), losing interest in things that made me happy, like my exercising and good eating habits.  I’m sure I’ve gained a little, not a ton but I can feel it.

So here is the deal, since I refuse to gain my weight back and I refuse to let depression take hold again I’m going t fight it!  Tomorrow is the start of a brand new month (but today counts too) and I’m going to do my damndest to pull myself OUT of this funk and back on track.  This is not the person I want to be and there is no reason I have to be this person.

One day at a time.  Stay positive.  Make the most out of everyday.  Life has so much to offer.  Be happy!

21 Jul, 2010

Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal

Posted by: meowmix In: Recipes/Food

Today I experimented a little with breakfast. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s done this but it’s a first for me and I thought I’d share!

Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal

You make your oatmeal however you’d normally make it, with milk or water. I made mine with 1/4 cup of steal cut oats and water. Then I added 1 1/2 to 2 tablespoons of pumpkin (the kind in a can, the just pumpkin kind not pumpkin pie filling) added a little pumpkin pie spice, sweetener and done! Of course you could add milk or butter if you wanted but I didn’t and it was still really nummy!  For my daughter I used almond milk and sweetened it with a little honey and she loved it!

Edit: Arg!  I forgot I wanted to add a little vanilla!!  Aw well, next time!  It would also be good sweetened with brown sugar or maybe a little molasses, throw in some nuts, I may add more pumpkin next time too . . mhhh . . 🙂

19 Jul, 2010

07/19/10 Weigh in

Posted by: meowmix In: One day closer|Weigh ins

Weigh day!  Today’s magic number is …


I didn’t post last weeks weigh in.  I caught a nasty cold and just when I started to feel a little better my daughter caught it and it seemed to renew it’s vigor in me :/  I also had the bright idea of giving up caffeine and WOW, I had no idea I was so addicted to the stuff!  I had awful withdraws that only yesterday eased up.  Killer headache that just never went away, mood swings, sore muscles . . it’s amazing that a little caffeine in the mornings could cause such withdraws when stopped.

I wanted to see if caffeine was maybe the cause of my mid afternoon crashes (I’d be all chipper and energetic in the morning but by mid afternoon I’d start to feel tired and moody and GRUMPY!) and so far I think caffeine just might have been the culprit!  I don’t plan to outlaw it completely like I have with dairy but it by no means is going to become a normal thing like it was, I don’t want to go through that again!

Anywho, between being sick and coming off caffeine (haha like some drug addict) I’ve been a bit out of sorts and haven’t gotten around to blogging.  Missed some exercising and have gone up a pound, oh well, back to the grindstone!

Happy Monday!

05 Jul, 2010

07/05/10 Weigh in

Posted by: meowmix In: One day closer|Weigh ins

Yep it’s weigh day.  Today’s magic number is …


Down 0.4 from last week.  Works for me!  I’m really on the fence about if I should start maintaining or still try to lose a few more.  I’m just under 5’3″ so 120 pounds isn’t like emaciated for my frame or anything but it is thin.  I still have fat in places I’d rather not but I wonder if maybe it will always be that way, I don’t want to become a straight up and down ruler after all, I’d like to keep my curves.  In most stores and brands I’m already a size 2, so where else is there to go?  I in no way want to be a 0 so maybe it is time to stop but I’m just not satisfied yet.  Oh well, I’ll keep it slow and I’ll see what I see.

Anyways, today I’m feeling pretty crappy.  I’m am SUPER congested and I slept awful!  Between people lighting off fireworks and one side of my nose clogging up then the other I just didn’t get a good solid night’s sleep.  So I didn’t exercise this morning like I normally do, I still plan to do it just later in the day when I, hopefully, feel a little better.  I just felt a little extra sleep was what I needed more than getting my workout done before the sun rises.

Welp that’s it for me today!!  Happy Monday everyone!

  • rikki: Just wanted to say Hi! I hope all is going well for you! -See I told you I would still check in!
  • rikki: Oh so true :( Unfortunately!
  • rikki: I hope you get out of your "funk" soon! I know how that can be :) I'll keep checking in occasionally to see if you've come back ;0)