So because of my financial situation (aka grad school and too high rent), the power 90 is on hold.  I’ve been reading a lot about this couch to 5K thing, and it seems doable.  Jogging for 60 seconds right now seems like a stretch, but I should be able to do it!  I’m giving myself 5 days to mentally prepare myself to get up at 4:00 am and work out.  I’m going to alternate the C25K workouts with some weight training.  Getting up and going to the gym is going to be the hard part. 

I don’t know what is going on with me lately.  All I want to do is eat!!  I have struggled in the past with binge eating (without the purge).  I have started back over the past week.  I have got to stop!!  I refuse to gain this weight back.  I will be student teaching in January, have no professional clothes, and refuse to buy size 20 clothes!!  I will be in a size 18 or less by January!  I don’t like deadlines for weight loss, but this has to happen!!!!!

Sooo… I really don’t know why I stopped posting, but I am back (hopefully for good)!  I have continued with my “diet” (HATE that word!!).  I really haven’t been exercising like I should.  My husband and I have been researching the P90X.  While I think the P90X is would be an awesome regimen to follow, I am no where near ready for that.  So, I am ordering the Power 90 today.  The Power 90 is kinda like the prerequisite to the P90X.  If you have mastered the Power 90, you should be able to begin the P90X.  I am excited and ready to begin this new chapter in my new way of life.  I have decided to stop keeping a food log though.  It is too time consuming for my lifestyle right now.  I don’t count calories, I don’t ban certain foods.  I portion control and try to eat healthier overall.  When choosing foods, I try to stick with whole grains, high protein, and low fat.  I know I need to add more fruits and veggies (especially veggies).  I’m still working on that.  With all this being said, I will be posting updated pictures and measurements.  As of today, I weigh 236.4!  Might not be the progress I could have had, but progress none the less.

I have this theory that when you eat poorly, you don’t actually gain the weight until days later.  I knew I had not eaten very well over the weekend (I enjoyed myself a little too much for Easter).  So,  weighed again this morning.  OMG, I weigh 147.8!!  But then I remember that my face has been breaking out, I have been pretty moody, and I do feel a tad bit bloated.  Yes - It’s time for my Aunt Flow to arrive.  Maybe my Aunt Flow has made me gain this weight.  Monday I started eating healthier again.  So, unless my theory is right (or maybe it’s still right), Aunt Flow is to blame.  We will only know after my Aunt Flows visit is over!

So, here I am again saying I need motivation to work out!  Maybe I’ll start making myself get up at the crack of dawn to work out.  Even though I already have to get up at 5:00 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.  Maybe on Mondays and Fridays I will go in the morning, and go during the day on the weekends.  I dunno.  Something needs to happen.  This is ridiculous!!  I will complete that half marathon.  I have already told too many people about it, and I want to do it!

So I’ve been weighing myself everyday, just because I can’t stand not to.  It’s not because I’m obsessed.  I started out not weighing everyday, but for some reason I started this week.  I’m down to 248.  I was 250 on Monday.  Now, I know that your weight changes throughout the day and week, but I like the positive feedback my scale is giving right now.  If/when my scale starts to disappoint me, I will probably switch back to weighing in once a week.  But I plan to enjoy this downward ride for the moment!

OMG… Yesterday was horrible!  I was hungry all day long!!  I felt like I was eating ALL day!  But after looking at my calories, I think I did okay.  I have got to make myself not so hungry by the end of the day though.  Especially for days like today.  I depend on my classmates for dinner on Tuesdays.  We take turns bringing dinner to class.  So if I go to class extremely hungry and they bring something like pizza and cookies, I am going to completely ruin my day.  I think I’ll take a snack to work with me today so I can eat it before leaving for class.  Off I go to start this very busy day!

So I bought some wasa crackers to eat with my tuna and this laughing cow cheese spread stuff that I got.  I got the wasa crackers because I’ve read in magazines about how good they are for you, and even Opra eats them on her diet.  One word - YUCK!!  What the heck are these things???  It was like eating a gross, no flavor added, whole grain barley, rice cake.  Have you tried them?  Please, don’t!  Nutritionally they are great!  I don’t think they had any fat, like 40 calories for a cracker the size of my hand, and it had like 5gs of fiber in the one cracker.  But who wants to eat a flaky piece of cardboard?  Not me!  So I layed them on the counter and grabbed my ever so tasty, not so nutritiously sound but still okay, whole wheat saltine crackers.  Yum! 

So today I am going to a Spa Party.  I am taking a fruit tray (so I know something healthy will be there!).  The host is my good friend, and I know there will be plenty of junk food there also.  The party is at 1:00.  Do I eat lunch at my house before I go so that I will not fill up on the junk food, or do I skip lunch and just have a good time and eat at the party?  Hmm… I just keep thinking that even if I eat lunch at home, I will still eat at least some of the junk at the party.  I seriously think that I will eat less calories if I just eat at the party and not at home.  Yes - that is what I am going to do.  I am taking fruit and a 2 liter of Diet Dr Pepper.  I can happily avoid the drinks with calories and have some fruit, but I will also eat some of the junk for my lunch.  I’m sure there will be something that isn’t THAT bad there.  After all, how often do I go to things like this?  Well, Easter is next weekend, and I will have the same problem.  But I’ve done pretty good this week (weighed in today just to check where I’m at), so I will be okay.

I have had very little sleep the past couple of nights due to school projects.  I do not do well without sleep.  I do get to sleep in tomorrow a little, and tonight is my last class for the week.  I just have to make it through today, which includes a presentation tonight during class. 

Ohhh… I almost forgot I have figured out a “training schedule” for the half marathon I want to complete in December!  I plan to jog/walk/run (something!) for two miles three times a week for three weeks.  In three weeks, I go up to three miles.  Every three weeks, I am going to add a mile.  By the week of October 31, I will be up to 13 miles (which is how long the half marathon is).  I think that will be achievable.  I just hope I can find time to do this when I start getting up to the higher mileage.  No!  I will find time!  I really want to do this half marathon!  I want to do it for the cause.  I want to do it so that I can proudly say I have done something like that.  I also want to do it to prove everybody wrong!!  This time is different.  My friends and family have seen me through countless attempts at fitness and weightloss.  I guess I can see where their doubt is coming from.  I just wish I could show them right now that it is different.  They will start to see that soon though!