McCupcake: Cute Face & A Chubby Waist

Again, another morning at 188lbs. I’ll take that as a success. Why you ask? WELL..let me begin by saying:  because I’m down TWO INCHES on my waist and half an inch in my bust (which is good because I’m currently rockin’ a 38 E chest right now…). 1/4 on my thighs and 1/2 on my hips. I’m thinking I’m going to be a stacked, muscular, lean, bendy, and HEALTHY goddess by summer! Go me! Go me! Go me! *does the shopping cart dance move*

However; this does bring about GREAT fear. I started this weight loss journey after I saw photos of me at a friends party (please reference my photo post a few days ago…) and I vowed I would update these photos showing my weight loss. Now, another thing is, I also vowed to myself that I show - I mean REALLY show- the progress/lack there of by doing this in a bikini…(I know, I also just threw up in my mouth..this is an FML moment… ) SO, in on the 17th it will be one month that I’ve started doing this. I’m only down 2 lbs but I can definitely see results.  Brace yourselves, Chicks! On the 17th I WILL be posting myself in a bikini from the front, the side, and the back minus any flattering angles.  This is such a horrifying prospect to me…I’m really nervous. I’m not confident with my body - but as people always say “fake it till you make it.” I’ve NEVER worn a two piece outside of a tanning booth before..I don’t even think dear boyfriend sees that much skin! So, I’ll take these next ten days to get myself in a good state of mind. If I stay positive, I WILL get the results I want. Oh yes, there will be results.

I got out of bed early today to do exercise but was too busy bouncing off the walls with my measurements to actually do any exercise - so, I’m going to squish them in before work. I’m going to go up a level on my Jillian Michaels 30 day shred today! Outlook: Crippling. lol  Anywho…I’m just on cloud 9 and basically peeing myself with happiness. So, I’m going to go digest my lunch and get ready to do some exersizzle..cause I am sizzlin’, on fire, burning hot, and rediculously energetic.

Quick rundown for the day:

• Breakfast: Weight control Oatmeal & Yoplait source yogurt (195 cal)
• Lunch: 140 grams of Blue menu brand savage wld tuna bbq’ed, Cup of egg noodles with some strawberry and red onion tossed with sesame oil, 1cup of salad w/ mixed veggies and Low fat raspberry vinaigrette. 1 measured cup of skim milk. (480 cals…A little higher then i like for Lunchie-poo)
• Supper: 1.2 oz of Protien powder and yoplait source yogurt since I’m eating after work @ 10pm. (150 cals)

“Exersizzle”:

• 20 Mins Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred Level 2!
• 37 Min Slim in Six workout (2nd level)
• 30 Min stroll at 2 mph.

Alrighty Chickies! Have a FANTASTIC day and I hope you’re all having success and staying positive. Happy blogging.

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My jeans are getting big on me. They used to be snug and now they are beginning to hang off of me. My Bras are fitting better and I have more energy! (Cause that is EXACTLY what I need…hahaha) I’m probably the perkiest person in my class (and the only one who does my homework apparently) so I think I drive EVERYONE nuts. I’m a little TOO bubbley sometimes. Although, me and a girl I met in class (technically I met her at my friend’s grandfather’s funeral) have decided that we’re going to Hola hoop and skip rope on our 20 min break. hahaa Yes, we’re both in our 20’s and rediculous. I’m excited though - a bonding activity with a new friend. WoOhoo! 

On a different note, apparently hoola-hooping 10 mins a day, everyday for a month can lead to a 4lb weight loss! How awesome is that?! I’m going to gyrate myself svelt.

Today was successful. I stayed within my calorie range, got my exercise done - I REALLY went for the burn today, finished my English assignment & did my readings, got a mother’s day gift for Mom and a house warming gift my BFF..and I worked a 7 hour shift. I am a GODDESS!!! Ohhh I think I got this whole thing down. Here is a run down of my day.

Food:

• Breakfast: Weight control oatmeal & Yoplait source (195 cals)
• Lunch: Turkey breast & ham wrap from subway with no cheese, loaded with veg, and mustard and a skim milk (401 cals)
• Snack: 1 serving of cheddar flavored mini rice cakes (45 cals)
• Supper:  3 0z Tuna steak cooked on the grill and mixed veggies with half cup of baked potato chunks w/ fat free sour cream. (235 cal) (Supper is happening right now..So it’s a lil late at 10pm)

Exercise:

• Jillian Michaels 30 day shread (20 mins)
• Slim in 6 (27min)
• Stroll @ 2mph (30mins)

I hope everyone else had a great day!

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Alright, I’m stuck at 188 lbs. Frustrating because I CAN see changes. In my legs definitely and chest. Seems like this pesky spare tire is just laughing at me though. As my upper body tones and my legs tone it seems like its getting bigger. I’ve even been noticing that I’m…dimpley. hahaha Life is rough, eh? lol BUT I know it’s not all about the weight and I’m holding steady at 188 because I’m gaining muscle - which burns more fat so I’m doing my best not to get my back up over it.

 I got up early today and did my Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred but I don’t think working out in the morning is for me. I was too busy yawning and flailing to really get myself engaged in  the activity. It was like I was just going through the motions. SO, with that, I think afternoon/evening work outs are best suited for me.

Food Yesterday:

• Breakfast: Weight Control Oatmeal & 1 measured cup of OJ from concentrate.
• Lunch: 3 oz bbq’ed chicken breast, 1/4cup of brown rice w/ dash of hot sauce, 1 oz of avocado raw, and 1.5 cups of salad and a teaspoon of olive oil. 1 un-measured cup of skim milk.
• Supper (which was @ 9:30pm): 1.2 oz of Protien powder mixed with water (Blech!!)
• Snack: Yoplait Source

Exercise:

• 30 min Slim in 6 Work out DVD
• 25 min Jillian Michaels 30 day Shread DVD
• 30 Stroll at 2.0 mph

Hopefully today I can bust my ass the same way. I will be doing my Jillian Michaels again as I REALLY half assed it this morning and I won’t even consider it “exercise” because it wasn’t. I downloaded CalorieKing Nutrition and Exercise Manager. I had to pay for it but I REALLY recommend it to EVERYONE. My gosh.

Anyways, time to shower and sit in class for 3 hours then get my butt to work for 8 hours..then kick my own ass around tonight.

Have a great day chicks!

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I’m sitting here watching “Biggest Loser” and I’m feeling SO emotional over it. It’s funny because I can relate. Seems like all the contestants are dealing with major fears about their habits reverting back. I suppose it’s “easy” (relatively speaking) to modify your behaviour once you’re removed from the environment and have limited contact with enablers. Once you go back to that environment, it’s like the tools you’ve learned and struggled to get suddenly don’t matter because they are useless without the ability to say “no” and to put yourself first. I think thats what this WHOLE journey is really about - being able to put yourself first.

Taking that time, whichis so vital, and dedicating it to yourself because you’re worth it. It REALLY hit home tonight. Watching them freak out over a 100 calorie glass of wine…From one extreme to the other and so afraid to just live in the moment. I want to live in the moment, and I want to enjoy the moment but I do not want to be wreckless in the moment. Being wreckless has lead me to what I look like today and that is NOT something that I am proud of. However; being wreckless and enjoying the moment seem to have SUCH a fine line. It’s easy just to say “too much of a good thing is bad” but at the same time who is monitoring what is too much? Who is monitoring what is too little? Me? You? Society?

It’s been my experience that it is easy to replace with one addiction with another. After my car accident I struggled with pain medication for a year. Once I learned I did not need the pain medication I turned to booze for a long time and then food and ate myself robust. Now, I just wish someone was here to teach me that portion control and exercise isn’t about thinking about it 24/7, it isn’t about feeling guilty when one thing doesn’t go according to plan. It is just SO much about control and as far as control goes - I feel the need for more control in regards everything.  There is still that compulsion to keep pushing myself to improve my will power, determination among other things. There is no shame in that. It’s just there is this thought in the back of my head…One addiction to another. Pain meds - Alcohol - Food - ???.  Perhaps I’ll over compensate…I just want to be a good person and a healthy person.

I just wish I could kick these thoughts. I know it is a cycle that I allow myself to follow and I know if I can keep myself on the straight and narrow I will not relapse into wreckless behaviour. I’ll be able to see the moment and enjoy the moment through sober eyes…and let go of the wrecklesness that has consumed the last 2.5 years of my life. I let so many precious moments pass me by. Here I am now, only 2 weeks into my new modified behaviour feeling good. Good…who knew I’d ever feel that again. I sure didn’t.

I’m down weight - sure it’s just a few pounds but to me, thats a major success.  I say “No” to fast food, I have a list of realistic short and long term goals, and I have a strong support backing. I’m enjoying realizing this moment and I almost enjoy the REALLY crappy moments too because I’m no longer numb and afraid of “what if things get hard?” F*ck it. If it gets hard, it gets hard. I AM able to cope without a crutch.

I suppose in the end the ups and downs are our defining moments in this battle. We’re forging this battle and I kind of feel like it’s comparable to a pagan anglosaxon good vs evil story. In this story though, it’s up to us how it ends…A little scary, huh?

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I’m just soooo gassy. I feel as though I’m the Hindenburg all puffed up with nitrogen waiting to explode. I definitely over did it with the rapid onset of fiber yesterday.

I weighed in at a whopping 188 this morning…So I’m feeling REALLY glum about that. I’m hoping it’s partly due to the gas/constipation issue I’m rocking right now, however; I think I’m just making that excuse to “accept” the weight gain and not take accountability for my crappy eating over the weekend. Now that I’ve acknowledged that, I can get back in gear.

I didn’t wake up at 7:30 because I was just exhausted from not being able to sleep. My stupid neighbours have cats that they allow out over night. As I was starting to doze off one of the effing cat perched itself on my window box and began crying loudly. Sounded like someone was crying for help - seriously. I grabbed my cell phone and ran to the window to be greeted by THE MOST unwelcomed sight ever. That Effing White and Black cat that gets into EVERYTHING. Makes a mess of compost, pees everywhere, and climbs INSIDE my truck when I leave the windows down and not to mention I’m horribly ALLERGIC. Red eyes, runny nose, sneezing, and blotches..the whole bit. I’m half tempted to call the SPCA next time. GAH. I was less then pleased last night needless to say. I love animals but I don’t love them pestering me at 3:30-4:30 am for an hour howling outside of my window.

Anyways, back to not waking up at 7:30am..I got up at 8:30 instead and had a bowl of weight control oatmeal, and a cup of Orange Juice. Then I took a ( very ) rushed shower and was on my way to school for a literature course I’m taking for 8 weeks. (What the heck was I thinking?!) This course is 3 hours a day, 3 days a week. 10am-1pm. I’m amazed I stayed awake today. We learned about Old English…and I also learned that daydreaming and maintaining eye-contact while nodding periodically will do wonders. lol

So, I’m cranky as all heck today. Sleep deprived, bloated, and full of piss and vinegar. Hopefully, no customers at work give me any grief over being sold out of “Bench” brand jackets because I might fling a pen at someone’s head and break into tears. hahaha Imagine that!

I’m blogging now as I’m procrastinating from doing my Jillian Michaels 30 day shread. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I die a little inside everytime I do it. BUT, but but but it’s getting easier everyday and I’m becoming less and less sore as I progress. Hurray! Last time I checked, that was called progress & results! Heck yes, Me..Heck yes!

Now that I’m back on track and taking accountability for my diet willy-nillyness I should get back to my exercise routine and stop being such a persnickety brat with all my whining. It’s not so bad, today just isn’t ideal. I mean, afterall, what IS ideal in the real world anyways? Am I right? hahaha

Have a great day chicks! Happy blogging.

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So I’m awake at 12:45am and I have to be up at 7:30am if I want to exercise tomorrow….Gas pains woke me up so I’m thinking I’ve over-done it with the fiber the past couple of days to get myself “back on track.”

Perhaps a good jog in the morning will wiggle everything loose. So, thats the new plan.

Also, Ive got my hands on “Slim in 6″ and I’m really excited to get started. Has anyone tried this? I dont want to do the suppliment thing so I’m not sure how that will work but who knows. I went a lil whackey and downloaded everything I can find by “BeachBody” and I’m DYING to get my hands on Kim Kardashian’s Fit Into Your Jeans by Friday workout videos..Shes BEAUTIFUL.

I’ve been doing the Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred and I’m not sure how often I’m supposed to do the videos or how fast I “should” be progressing…does anyone have any answers? Do I do them more then once a day? Am & PM ? Should I be alternating the workouts? I’d REALLY appreciate them. Although,  I think I only have one reader - Hi Holly! hahaha

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I used the washroom. I feel like a million bucks now. hahahaha

Day has changed again yet again…but for the better..;)

Lunch:

• Green Giant Essentials Fiber 200g
• Shrimp cooked in moist heat 4oz
• 1 large cup of coffee with 2 splenda & Skim milk
• 392 Calories

Exercise:

• Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred (level 1) 20 mins
• Ab-roller & free weights 20 mins
• Tae Bo (Billy Bank Bootcamp Elite) 55 mins

 Another really exciting note…My braces come off on the 13th!!! That is only 8 days from now. I cannot believe it.  I’m so happy. It’ll feel so good to have my “real face” back. I’m kind of scared to see what it will look like where I lost a lot of the original quirks with my teeth - I’m hesitant because I know it will be a cookie-cutter smile.  Oh well..better then having snaggle-tooths. haha

AND my 25th birthday party is rapidly approaching so the push is on to lose some serious inches & tighten up my arms so I can look smokin’ hot in the dress I want to wear. My best friend and I both have the exact same birthday and I’m standing as her Maid Of Honor…This party will also be her house-warming party. Should be drunken and biligerant. I haven’t drank in a LONG time so it will be interesting to say the least.

If that isn’t motivation to get my ass in gear, I have NO idea what is!

So Chickies, enjoy the day and I hope everyone has weather as great as mine. Happy Blogging.

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This might qualify as “too much information” by body is NOT loving life today. I’m still without a bowel movement and it’s about a week. cramping in my belly, sides and legs has begun and also I now have reflux worse than usual - not to mention heart burn. I think today is going to be a day of water/exercise and plenty of sleep.

I had to call off work because of this queasiness. I NEVER call off work so to call off because I can’t use the washroom..? I feel rediculous.

My plan for today has been modified. It involves loads of water, loads of Fiber 1 cereal, more water, and more water and some gentle exercise. Hopefully I can work it out of me. Fingers crossed.

Aside from that nothing really to report, haven’t eaten yet today and I slept 8ish hours. We’ll see what today brings.

Have a great day chicks!

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Ok ok, So I know I should be taking accountability for my indulgences this weekend by getting on the scale and looking that number in the eye. Alas, I really don’t have it in me so I’m just going to bust my buns for the next couple of days and then weight in on Tuesday. Might not be the most “honest” thing to do but right now, motivation is fleeting.

I asked Dear Boyfriend to join me to for a walk/jog in the morning into town and back and he playfully pretended not to hear me…Another dissapointment in the weight loss journey. I don’t mind doing it alone though and I will. I think once my results are visible he’ll become more motivated in coming with me. Right now he is really valuing his sleep, like we all do, because he works late and it takes him awhile to wind down. (Am I making excuses for him…?)

This is just a one day at a time thing, and I’m NOT going to beat myself up over the little mistakes. If I slip up for one meal, or one day, it doesn’t mean I just can’t just re-set my brain and hop back on the track. Today was great for food. Woke up and shuffled upstairs. Dear Boyfriends mother was still a lil Hungover from her celebrations the previous night so I made us some coffee and I had some Weight Control Quaker oatmeal. That was a big MEH. lol Cleaned up a little bit downstairs in dear boyfriend and my lil area and did some laundry. Dear boyfriend woke up around 11:30 and was in a good mood so that was a good thing. I wasn’t hungry at lunch. Maybe the oatmeal does work haha so I ate some fruit and a few crackers..then I flopped back in bed and watched TLC all afternoon.

I decided to come to my house for supper. Dad had bbq’ed some lean pork roast and some fresh veg so I ate that. Now I’m just kind of waiting for my food to digest so I can get up and do my Jillian Michaels 30 day shred DVD. I’m still barely able to move. Yesterday I had to take the day off from exercise and take Advil because I was in so much pain. It was unbelievable! So, I will do it again tonight & I’ll probably do 500 crunches with my ab-roller and flail around with my 5lb dumbbells. I might go for a walk later weather permitting.

Another concern of mine is that my stupid “IBS” is flaring. It has been since Wednesday-Thursdayish. I haven’t had a bowel movement since then and I’m just so bloated and crampy. I’ve been sucking back water and teas and you name it! So, I think I’m feeling a little glum about that. I don’t think my eating bad foods helped the situation any so I’m kind of waiting for nature to take it’s course. I really hate having to take laxatives - it takes me off of the map for a couple of days and I can’t afford that. Booo..

So really, aside from the whole food-cheat thing, Dear boyfriend wants nothing to do with the diet/exercise, and my guts, everything is going really well. hahaha Seriously..I’m going to do my exercise tongiht and get right back on track. It’s just something that needs to be done.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Sunday!

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What a rocky 12 hours. I slept in and I don’t have time for exercise before work - in fact I shouldn’t even be on here blogging.  I really just wish someone was here to smack some sense into me.

No time for exercise.

No time for lunch.

Muscles hurt really badly

Groggy as ole’ heck.

I think it’s a food hangover. hahah Can’t win’em all! I’ll grab some yogurt to munch on in the truck & a protein shake. Hopefully that will hold me over for 4 hours until I can get home to get my exercise & supper into me.

Have a great day chicks! Happy weekend!

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