McCupcake: Cute Face & A Chubby Waist

I finished my mid-term and I was the last one leaving it. I don’t know if that is good or bad, or what but I’ll take it as a success because I feel confident that I aced it. I did study my butt off and go to study group at 7am this morning after staying up until 2 studying. Holy moly. Hopefully I manage to pull in an A…that would be ideal. Everyone worked really hard so it would be amazing if everyone did that well.

In other news, 50% off clearance @ Torrid.com They have Ed Hardy stuff which you allll know I ordered today. hahaha. I’m thinking it might be a nice birthday gift to myself because my birthday is Monday…I’ll be 25 on the 25th! YIKES! Time really does creep away on us, doesn’t it.

For lunch today I’m thinking half a cup of Edamame w/ some salt and a roast beast sandwich with mustard, lettuce and tomato & some fat free yogurt. Bread probably isn’t the best bet, but I want it so bad. I’ll skip the cake today. I have work this evening and I’m not really looking forward to it which is strange because I usually I love it.  Oh well, everyone has off days.

I’m feeling even more rageful towards my sister. I really WANT to turn it into pity but when she takes allllll of her ….well used tissues and throws them into my garbage can that I empty religiously and clean once a week and on my floor it makes me mad. I do not like germs and I hate the fact that she is such…an asshole about them. Doesnt cover her mouth, bad hygene and everything…It just rots me. She is the smelly kid! A 27 year old SMELLY kid who is going to be teaching the youth of Canada…Not..good.  I’m 2 years YOUNGER than she is and I value cleanliness and I pride myself on being able to maintain a clean house and living space so it’s such a slap in the face to me when she does things like this. Rarrr…hermph.  I can’t pity her social inability because of the opportunities shes been spoon fed by my parents to pull her out of her snit and turned her nose up at. She’d rather watch TV.  I NEVER had the opportunities she had. I had to BUST my rump to get anywhere and I’ve had to self-actualize and modify and learn and grow like everyone else…but she has never had too.  She is just a prima-donna and a moody one at that. A thorn in my sideeee! I don’t why I haven’t knocked the child out yet, but I feel myself losing control. Only people you love can cause such a passionate reaction I suppose… Serenity now! hahaha Alrighty..end of rant..I promise.

I must seem like such a whiney brat…but it’s hard to deal with this for 25 years and not be somewhat affected by it. Typically, I suffer in silence but I think thats why it’s all bubbling over now. Woops! haha

Anywho, for the rest of the day it involves vegitating until work, working and then maybe over to dear Boyfriends for the evening. I do like the sounds of that. Oui oui! I think I’ll take the night off of school work as I have until Tuesday when classes resume to do it. Procrastinator you say? Why yes, I agree.

Have a great day chicks! Happy blogging.

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Well this morning was weigh in and I had a good morning. I’ve dropped 2.5 lbs. So I’m down 4.5 lbs now. Its a month of work and all I’ve lost 4.5 lbs but Im definitely seeing results. Boyfriend even mentioned how good I’m looking. I’m down inches and thats what counts. So, Yayayayay! *pats self on the back*

I havent been able to blog because I managed to break the power source on my laptop. Wahh! So, while Mom is in the hospital, I’ll just be using hers until my replacement arrives. However, I’m now unable to access my diet diary or my exercise dvd’s….SET BACK! *panics panics*

Exercise still isnt happening the way it should be. Food has been so-so. I’m finding it difficult to create a new routine.  I eat healthy but then I’ll get a small slice of cake or something sugary after my supper. I know it’s NOT the end of the world but it just seems to go agaisnt everything I’ve taught myself the past few months.

My sister has moved home. I swear shes like 27 going on 12. She’s a brat! Everything she does, I swear, she does it to make things more difficult then they already are. She complains that she’s not as pretty as me, then she calls me fat, and makes stabs at my weight, grabs my love handles, twists them and pinches my fat on my arms and all that…while I sit there eating a REALLY healthy meal and she eats a slice of cake. I know she does this because she is VERY insecure with her looks but she doesn’t invest ANY time to take care of herself….Her hygene is whack. It just throws a BIG wrench in my routine, my schedule and how I do things. NOTHING has been easy since my mother’s accident and it’s become twice as difficult since my sister has come home. She’s a sloth, she plops herself down, shes rearranging all of my mother’s stuff which isn’t good because my mother has a precise system and I want to string her up by her hair!!! I’m kind of thankful I have to leave in July/Aug because I’d probably drive myself bonkers here. I feel like I’m babysitting a REALLY horrible 12 year old in the throws of puberty…not hanging out with a 27 year old in the throws of adulthood who should be settling into her carreer. GRRR! She’s book smart but lack ANY kind of social ability. “sdfkjs;dfjhsd;fjsdf;s\jd;flk\sdgj\pdfh\;dfl!~!!!!!!” <—- I think that sums up my feelings quite well. The girl is NOT well adjusted..I really don’t know how we’re even sisters! (well, I do know the physical reasons but attitude wise…I think she was dropped on her head!)

sdfhs;dlfsdf!!!!  I’m riled up. Pretty easy to tell though. Oh well, now that I’ve aired that crap out, I can focus on studying for my English exam…which is tomorrow!!! AHH!! lol Oh dear, BUT I did make a B+ on my very first English paper so I was impressed with that. I’m feeling good about things and I still love my hair cut and my awesome teeth. hehehe

Woop Woop! OK! Im feeling better again.

I hope everyone else is having a great day, happy blogging Chicks! I’ll make an effort to catch up on everyone’s blog ASAP.

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So..I forgot I had a hair appointment today so i went in and told my hair stylist..to just CHANGE everything the color, the cut, the shape, EVERYTHING. And she did…

Before:

http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss44/McCupcakejr/Image0010.jpg

After:

http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss44/McCupcakejr/Image0012.jpg

You’ll have to forgive the crappy quality. I lost my digi cam over the weekend and I have been using my cell-phone to get photos. It’s almost time for those dreaded Bikini photos anyways. Booo..

On the positive! I weighed myself this morning and I’m down 3lbs now instead of 2lbs…It must have been bloat/water retention from my TOM that made me gain those 2lbs. So I’m feeling better about everything now. hahaha…

New teeth, New hair, and new normal..:) I’m working on things and getting there.

Have a great day, Chicks!!

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but I was afraid to get out of routine. I find that when I don’t blog, I didn’t take the diets and exercise seriously and just half-ass it. It’s nice knowing that people are supporting me to “be all that I can be” and it helps me get through the moments of sore muscles and complete exhaustion…Like tonight!

I did my first bit of exercise in a week. It was so horrible..but so satisfying. I’m proud of myself. I’ve gained my weight back and I’m really embarrassed. So, I know NOW is the time to get back at this. I will not use my mother as an excuse to be unhealthy…I need to regain some sense of what is normal or atleast I need to redefine “normal.” so that when she is able to enjoy my company - we can do that together and I can focus on helping to rehabilitate her.

English class has been a really effective outlet for my emotions. I find that in a lot of the reading assignments there are so many canonical works that really relate to my uncertainty of what the future holds. I’m not going to get too deep here, I just really enjoy the fact that I have a new hobby and interest to occupy my idle mind.

I feel like another load of bricks has been dropped on me. I know it is because my father loves me and wants me to move on from everything that has happened this week but it is tough. He feels that I NEED to move out at the end of July to help myself continue on my journey with school, work and with Adam (my dear boyfriend). He doesnt want me moping around the house hoping for a miracle. I know there is a space issue here. Our house is quite large but there are only 3 bedrooms (well..4 if you concider the one in the basement but it is filled with my great aunts belongings and she passed away a few years ago and there is debate on what to with it…) and my mother will require her own sleeping area for a long time and my sister is moving home…and dad will need a room. So, that leaves me to have to leave. Dad wouldnt make me leave if he didn’t think I could handle it. It would just be nice to be home for my own selfish reasons. Dad is going to redo my room completely…but he left my sisters room exactly the same as it had been since she was 12…Shes 27 and going to be a teacher but she gets to move back home and live there even though shes been away since she was 18…but, I have to leave the only house I’ve ever lived in…It just doesn’t sit well. Am I whining…yes. Does it help…no…I’m just really frustrated. I want to be home for my mother and I want to watch her improve. I know having a full house is not in the best interest of my mother…I’m still going to Calgary like it or not…All the bitching and moaning won’t help the situation and I’m here to help ease this situation right now…*hermph*

Food wasn’t good today. I had subway…mayo and sandwish oil…white bread, cold cuts…cheese…*sigh* I just don’t feel I’ll ever get a grip again. I’m just so dissapointed that I let myself go back there and lose control. I know I had a MAJOR major..major emergency arrise..but that doesn’t make it ok for me to slack off - if anything I should be holding on to this new routine because it will help me stay healthy in this time of stress. OH well…I WILL do this. I do not have a choice. I can’t continue going to the hosptial for IV’s for fluids…I can’t keep passing blood…I need fiber, I need whole grains, I need veggies & low acid fruits, I need dairy and I need exercise..I need confidence, and I need to accept myself..I am what I am..and I should embrace that.

Life is what it is. If I’m unhappy with it - I’m can change it, so…I’m going to change it.

I got this..this is totally doable.

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Today was one of the more positive days I’ve had in awhile. I woke up at 6am and drove to the ferry terminal to pick my Best friend since I was 12 up. He is home because he heard about Mom and My birthday is on the 25th..(25 on the 25th!) So He wanted to be home to spend sometime with me. Also, MY BRACES CAME OFF!! WOOOHOOO! I gotta tell ya, the $1000’s spent were worth it and thank god for dental insurance through my parent’s!

I decided enough was enough and left the house, took a mental health day from class and went shopping. Do I have the money to freely spend - no…Do I regret spending it - no. lol I bought myself a new Ed Hardy purse. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ed Hardy. I’m a bit of a tattoo freak (hard to believe I know..but I have 6 of them myself) so his style just kind of speaks to me in a sense. I just REALLY appreciate the designs. I have a few t-shirts, scarves, a pair of boots and now finally a bag by Ed Hardy. It’s beautiful and quite satisfying.

Oh My..So I wasn’t thrilled about the Biggest Loser. I REALLY didn’t like Helen’s attitude. Sure, she looked great there is no denying that, but how can she stand to look at herself in the mirror after she basically axed her daughter out of things for her own benefit? Maybe it’s just sour grapes because I wanted Tara to win so badly. Hermph. That’s MY rant about that. lol

Today was as normal as possible given the circumstances. I saw my Mom’s best friend in the mall today and hunted her down. The minute she saw me and realized it was me she just fell apart and started crying. Oh dear…It’s hard for me to realize this effects people outside of my immediate family. I went for coffee with her and helped her pick out a pair of Jammies to for Mom to wear when she comes home. So, I think that helped to ease her mind a little bit but I felt as though she was trying to recreate the memories she had with my mother through me…I had to draw that line but I made it very clear I available to talk and get coffee anytime she wishes. She’s wonderful to my Mom so I certainly don’t want to keep her at a distance. She IS like a sister to my mother.

My sister seems to be turning into an Angry bitch, for lack of a better term. I know she is angry at the circumstances and the situation and she isn’t angry at me but she sure likes to project those feelings on to me. The Doctor reccommended she speak to a Social Worker because of her snarky disposition and she ripped into the Doctor. My sister and I are both VERY different. We tend to balance each other out when we’re around each other but she is 5 hours away. I’m the emotional one and I face emotional issues head on and I make sure I follow the greiving process that works for me but, I lack logic. My sister lacks emotion and compassion and deals strictly in facts. So, now that the Doctor’s have no facts right for my sister she is turning completely aggressive and just chewing everyone’s head off verbally every chance she gets. She is even ignoring my Grandparents which makes me very dissapointed. Dad says I need to have patience with her, and I know that is true. She is hurting just as much as I am but doesnt know how to effectively express it but I’d just wish she’d get her head out of her ass and stop hurting the people that love her. This isn’t the time to be pushing everyone away. I just worry that if Mom heard about her behaviour she’d be hurt and feel guilty on some level…but I worry so much about everything. I just can’t win.

Ahh my, I have a paper to write tonight and I’m procrastinating. I don’t think exercise is going to happen as I’m going to opt for an extra hour of sleep instead. Now that I’m finally starting to sleep I want to take advantage of that because I’m not sure when we’ll get the call to drive back to see mom..and my body just needs a break. It can’t run on nerves and adreneline alone. So…you know, I’m maintaining and right now, thats the best I can do with the tools I have. I think this weekend will give me a chance to get back into my exercise routine and regulate my digestive tract. SO! I think everything is positive…It’s all looking up from this point on. I’m hanging onto my faith and I’m hanging on for my family..:) A long road ahead of us, but atleast I have an amazing support structure. And on that note, Im going to give my Nana and Papa a call and let them know I’m thinking about them and love them.

Have a great day/evening Chicks!

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Well, I returned to class today and I’m returning to work on Thursday. I’ve arranged so that after this weekend I will have weekends off so that I can travel back and forth to see my mother.

The doctors have reduced her sleeping medication and she is starting to show more response to stimulus! So that is fantastic news. Slowly but surely she’ll start waking up.

I wound up in the hospital recieving fluids through IV due to my diarrhea and other situation. Not so much fun. My IBS is completely messed up and I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication for the time being. They said it would help me relax and sleep in the evenings but it sounds like it might addictive or easy to fall into habit with so Im hesitant to take it. I might hold off until it’s absoluletly needed and right now it isnt. I also got new and stronger stomach acid medication.

Weight loss isnt going well. Im trying to catch up on school work and house work and take care of everything else. It is good to keep me busy though however; Im preferring solitude to company which has my father worried but I just need some time to take everything in. Tonight Im thinking I might go with dear boyfriend to visit my friend and her new puppies and get some photos of those rascals.

So..things are looking better. Once I get back into routine completely, I’ll refocus on things. Im not eating as badly as I thought I would be and I think I’m maintaining my weight. Woohoo! haha

Happy Blogging chicks!

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More good updates with my Mother. I’m thrilled.

She is STILL on lifesupport and in a coma but to our understanding her brain is functioning normally when it comes to recognizing voices and names. Today when I visisted her, I made sure to talk to her and talk to her about things we’ve spoken about before. She began to kick her left leg and move her left arm when she heard me coming into the room. Her blood pressure also spiked. Another neat thing was that she squeezed my hand today when I told her I loved her and told her how good she was looking. When I told the nurse what had happened she ran and got the doctor. He told me that she hadn’t been able to squeeze or use pressure to hold anything yet!!! So this is all postitve. I was so happy to hear that.

As of right now the swelling in her brain is mainly located on the left side so she can’t move her right side. We have our fingers crossed that the paralysis is a temporary side effect but we are preparing ourselves if it is not.  Her pressure and swelling in her brain is not bad enough to start draining the fluid because they don’t want to create a void and the swelling is washing away the blood cells? (I think thats how they explained it..?) It has only been 48 hours and she went from having her last rights read ( less then 25% survival chance) to her to being estimated to be out of ICU in 3-4 weeks!! AMAZING..just AMAZING.

I can’t praise the emergency responce team enough. My father dialed 911 at 1:58 and called me within 20 seconds of hanging up with them to find out how to stabilize her and I could hear sirens and the team arriving on scene…and the Paramedics (the PCP,ACP and CCP’s) all were phenominal, and so were the fireteam who used the jaws of life to get remove my mother as safely as possible…not only that but they provided care for my Grandfather and Father who were both VERY shaken up finding her like that. The pilots who air lifted her there..just everyone..Not even to mention the care she recieved at the local hospital and the larger one she is at now…It just makes me feel so lucky to be Canadian and not having to worry about how my family and I are going to pay for this. My Uncle was treated at New England Medical Center for a brain anuerism in ‘06 and his insurance paid over $1,000,000 for his treatment.. I used to whine and grumble about our 13% sales tax but Im understanding now how important it truly is as my mother’s bill is rapidly reaching that cost as well. As financially blessed as my parents are - we are not able to pay that much for treatment… 

I’m fairly religious and I appreciate that not everyone is Christian, so I try to avoid bringing it into my everyday conversation/blog but I do feel the need to mention that I feel as though God has sheltered my family and sent many wonderful angels to take care of us.  These past couple of days would have been intolerable without the special people he has sent to tend to our needs from family, friends, staff at hotels, and the nurses and all medical teams involved. It has just made such a difference to myself and my family. I went from feeling completely alone and isolated..having the worst day of my life on  Friday to feeling lifted and just loved completely on Sunday. Everyone’s positive thoughts have benefitted everything and I feel so strongly for those who have shown compassion. It is a true blessing to have such a wonderful community and structure of people around us - even those who have never met us before. Even blogging here has given me a safe place to air out and kind of whine a little the past couple of days and just knowing the option was there was amazing…so thank you all for the kind words. You’ve helped me in ways you’ll never understand. Truly amazing…

My IBS has been flaring because of stress which I was expecting but I think I may need to go to the hospital tomorrow as I’m beginning to have some blood in my stool to the point where it looks like tar. So, I’m starting to feel rather run down and very sore. I managed to get my hands on some fruits and veggies today and woofed those down like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. They tasted AMAZING. I’ve never discribed fruits and veg as amazing before but it was a welcome change from eating from a vending machine all weekend. I’ve been attempting to get some exercise in with my skipping rope. I had a lot of nervous energy and spent a lot of time skipping in the parking garage. hahaha Seems a little rediculous in retrospect but it was the most calming thing I could think of at the time as I was too afraid to run too far because I’m unfamiliar with the city my mother is located. I certainly didn’t do my body any favors this weekend but I did the best I could with the tools I had.

I’m not weighing myself in this week as I’m going to be driving the 5 hour trip there..and the 5 hour trip back - so my focus is on maintain my 2 lb loss and the inches I have lost as well. My skipping rope is becoming my constant companion.

Dear Boyfriend has been just fantastic in all this. He arranged for time off and has just been with me everystep of the way even though I didn’t want him to come with my family to see my mother. He remained at home and called my friends and family to update them. He lost his grandfather in a bad motorcycle accident in 06 and spent over a month travelling back and forth. So, he really understands how draining this is. He is taking care of me, so I can take care of my father hahaha.

This weekend has been by far the worst one of my life…and I certainly am not trying to make light of my Mother’s accident, but I do feel it is important to remain optimistic and send positive thoughts and prayers her way. So, I’m doing my best to find the silver linings and with her progress it hasn’t been hard. Although, I do ask that you send her and my family some positive vibes. A little good karma never hurt.

Thanks again for all the support Chicks…This response has been overwhelming and so wonderful. I feel completely lifted. Thank you.

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Mom is going to make it…She is going to make it. That is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard in my life.  She will remain in an induced coma for the better part of a week to let her body recooperate. They are running tests tomorrow for brain damage. I really have no idea how they do that and chose to close my ears during some of the explainations.  They did say that the internal bleeding was not as bad as initially thought and that she is doing much better today. So, that was a huge relief. Now, it is just difficult seeing her like that. My mother is very petite..5 feet and 120lbs soaking wet. With all the swelling and fluids she looks as though she is about a 6 foot 350 lb man..I wouldnt recognize her if her name wasn’t on the ICU door. It’s very scary to see. The brain swelling has increased significantly so they added more shunts in today. Another difficult thing to handle…but, we are handling it and coping as best we can and that is the main thing. No one is trying to be a hero and we’re letting emotions be true.

I’ve been keeping myself busy even though I have been away from home. With my nervous energy I went shopping and bought some pants. On the bright side, Im down a size and I purchased 2 pairs of new nikes. A pair of Shocks and a pair od Nike+ Refresh 2’s…so comfy.

Food hasn’t been good as I’m surviving on 100 calorie packs of smartfood and potato chips and sushi veggie rolls. I went for a walk today to burn off some energy but my weight loss efforts have taken a bit of a back seat.

I’m making the drive home tomorrow and going back to class and then, I think, on thursday I will head back up to visit mom again. Hopefully by the end of the weekend they will be able to wake her up although I’m scared for the pain she will be in. She is going to have a lot of questions. As of right now, she doesn’t even know there was an accident or where she is. It’s very scary for all of us. Emotionally heavy as well.

All that aside, I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and having a great Mother’s day. Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful Mommies out there. You’re all fantastic. 

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I feel so helpless.

My mother was in a terrible car accident today and air lifted to a major medical center. My father and I made the 5 hour drive here. I’m residing here until Monday and then I will be travelling back and forth until things improve because I have class and my father will not let me drop it.

Mom is not doing well. She is currently in a coma and on a respiration with a broken neck, spine and a lot of fluid and bleeding on the brain and internal bleeding in her chest and abdomin. Needless to say I was not prepared for seeing her that way. Lots of tubes, shunts, blood, cuts, bumps, stitches and unresponsive. I mentally prepared myself all day but it was useless. Needless to say they had to get me a chair, water and some wet clothes. I hit the deck pretty quickly.

 She is going to need a lot of surgury on her back, neck and it looks like her head… but right now they are working on keeping her vital signs stable. Things are 50/50 right now in regards to if she’ll pull through. We spoke to her neuro-specialist today and the pulmonary specialist will see us tomorrow. We’ve already been seen by greif councilors, social workers and a preist so I’m feeling rather numb emotionally.

It’s just been a draining day and I’m not to sure whats going to happen with me.  I’ve been sick a few times already and have rotten reflux and pain in my back and joints. Everything I hurt in my accident feels like it might fall off..However; I think that is just sympathy pains for my Mother.

So I just asking that everyone send a little positive thought, vibe or prayer her way.

I’m just glad I told her I loved her before bed last night.

Never take time with your loved ones for granted…ever.

I hope you’re all safe and sound. Tell your families/furballs/friends you love and give them a squeeze.

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I’m finally starting to come down from the excitment of my measurements. However; I was so distracted all day I didn’t get a good snack on in the afternoon and fell short for the 1200 (minimum) calories I like to have daily so now I feel all wonkey.  I only had 930 which is going to mess my metabolism (and head, emotions and blood sugar) up. Boo…

Dear boyfriend and I FINALLY got to spend sometime together today. I haven’t seen him since Sunday as we’ve been bickering a lot and I needed some space. I don’t know how I’ll handle living with someone. I do love solitude for a while everyday…Yikes. He hasn’t been supportive of my weight loss or educational goals lately. I think he’s feeling insecure and maybe some pressure himself. Ahh well..

Ghandi said something along the lines of ”be the change you want to see in the world.” So I’m leading by example. I will not lie. I want a healthy boyfriend that I will be able to enjoy for a long time to come. He is only 5′8 and he weights in excess of 280 and he lives a VERY lethargic lifestyle. He goes to work sits in a cubicle for 8 hours a day, eats fast food everyday for lunch, and then goes home and goes right to bed. He has no energy to do anything. I suggested we go for a walk along the boardwalk togight and even bribed him with ice cream and he wouldn’t budge out of bed. Needless to say, I was frustrated and came home shortly after. It makes me SO nervous because he has NO muscle tone or stamina or endurance..and I’m just scared that something is going to happen to him. He was talking about starting a family in a year or two and all I could think of was that he and I could NOT have children because we’re both too unhealthy. Unless there are MAJOR lifestyle changes on both our accounts I don’t think we’ll be making wee-ones anytime soon. It just makes me so so so sad, depressed and I feel almost useless…I REALLY want children ASAP and it is a lot of the motivation behind me trying to build up my core muscles and have a healthier, stronger body..so I can support a healthy pregnancy and have a healthy baby.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Dear Boyfriend with all my heart and we actually had a lengthy in-depth discussion tonight about marriage which was pretty awesome! I do not expect to be married for another couple of years though and nothing is 100% these days so who knows what the future holds. But I do know that for myself it does hold a lot of promise, a lot of improvment, a lot of determination, happiness, and me time.

Tonight was kind of hard emotionally (between the bikini stress and boyfriend stress) for me and I’m feeling really exhausted. I was hoping to enjoy my one day off this week by sleeping all day and having a cheat day BUT common sense kicked in so I’m going to stay on track and just do 1/2 my typical exercise routine. I will do my Jillian Michaels 30 day shred level 2 because I feel that is what is benefitting me the most. I also have to help my best friend move into her new house and pick up her 2 new puppies…She got 2 baby Rotties..they are so cute but will be HUGE when they grow up. Horrifying. lol

Plan of attack for tomorrow:

• Breakfast: Sleep! lol
• lunch @ McDonalds (Fajitas, side salad w/ FF dressing & water)
• Supper: No idea…something bbq’ed and a big ole’ sweet potato.
• Evening Snack: Protien shake & Full fat yogurt.
• Afternoon Snack: Mini rice cakes

Thanks for the kind words about the photos and concerns about my low caloric intake! I’m going to look into modifying it so I don’t make myself sick and burn out. Not something I’m willing to risk for minimal results! Plus, I want muscles…Big ones…with lots of strength.

Night Chickies! You rock and I hope you all have great dreams…and enjoy your Friday :) 

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