this weekend

Posted matilda08 on August 24th, 2009 | Filed under Journal

This weekend went buy so fast, I didnt workout at all and on saturday I usually do. I guess you can say that I am dating this new guy. We met on the fourth of July through some mutual friends and this weekend we spent a lot of time together. I usually try and make it to the gym on saturdays but because of the fact that we were spending time together that didnt happen. I wont say that I ate 100% on plan but I will say that I watched what I ate in a way. Yesterday I had two pancakes for breakfast a portion of home fries a portion of scrambled eggs and sausage and I know that was a big breakfast but because I didnt eat that until 11-12 I didnt eat anything else until the evening and I had two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with water. Tomorrow ill be back at the gym. So far I am doing really well with my workouts and for the most part diet, mainly because I just dont buy bad foods. Its hard though and I know that as long as I stick to what I am doing I will get the results that I want.  Im so tired of being over weight and what I hate about it most is that I dont like what I see when I have no cloths on. Its so funny because with cloths on I am pretty attracted to myself but with them off I see a lot of work that needs to be done. I keep talking about what my ultimate goal weight is and I honestly think that I would love myself at 180-190 but at the sametime I wont know if my love handles and back fat will be gone at that weight. That is very important to me because those are things about my body that I dont like.

 

I had got down to 220 and sometime when I think about that I get kind of upset at myself because I gained back about 27lbs I have lost back ten thank god but that really helped me to see that the harder part of being healthy and losing weight is keeping it off. Sometime the though of that is very scary. Everyday I have to pray and ask god to help me because I know that I cannot do this without my higher power. And I dont know why being healthy and staying healthy is so hard. I often wish I had a friend that was into fitness and lived in my area so that we could workout and go to the gym together. Hopefully I meet some ladies at the gym I attend that would help keep me in line. I dont really mind going to the gym but the long haul is what makes me nervous because I know that this is a lifetime change and I cant do it part time I have to commit to it for a lifetime. One the other hand I have very supportive friends and family and they are 100 percent behind me and it really helps a lot. Some days I just need will power dust. Tomorrow is monday and back at the gym


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