Finally, after rain this morning, the sun has come out.  I love the view from my bedroom window :)  We’re at the top of a three story tenement building and our garden is joined up with the street parallel to us.  There’s a big huge beech tree in the back garden and the green leaves look so bright against the sandstone of the tenement across the gardens, it’s so pretty!

I’ve finished another topic of revision for my exam, which is good!  1 to go (and 1 day left of studying to go too!)  I am looking forward to being FREEEEE!  I really am so excited :)  My cousin’s 20th birthday party is on Thursday, then the next week I’m going to visit my parents for a few days, probably Tuesday to Friday or something.  It’s nice to just chill out with nothing to do and be able to enjoy doing nothing!  However, I’ll probably get bored quickly so I’m taking some reading to do for my dissertation project :)  How geeky am I?

Also, in the last week of May I am going to Skye (a beautiful island in the Scottish West Hebrides - google it) with a group of friends in the year above me.  I hadn’t been going to go, because of financial reasons, but the cat has improved on his own and since we don’t have to pay for xrays - bingo!  Holiday!  It’s very special to me though.  I met two of the girls in the group at a psychology away trip in January (which was run by the department and a whole load of people in my year went and four 4th years, including my two friends).  But even though everyone who went on that trip made friends with everyone, I’ve kind of been included into their special group.  It’s not about being in with the cool gang or anything, I just feel really special because they are great people.  There’s going to be about 10 of us going and when I told them I could go they were so happy!  I try to think of that memory when I’m sad.

In other news - thank you so much Diet Buddy!  I ordered the WW handbook and a 3 month tracker journal from eBay for under £10.  Hopefully this will give me all the information I need, though I may need to buy a points calculator or something to get the points values.  I’m going to give it a decent try.  I think before, I may not have been completely honest with myself or been particularly rigid in weighing things and counting points, but this time I am motivated and prepared to take the good days with the bad.  And I want stars so no cheating!

I’ll get food and exercise in later

Mango x

Ugh today has not been a good food day!

My exam went quite well though (finally - one exam I don’t feel sick about!) and I am studying later for the next one; Developmental Psychology.  I’m also making headway about gaining clinical experience.  A psychologist on the clinical psychology forum I’m a member of got in touch saying a 14-25hour vacancy is coming up in my area.  It’s a lot of hours, but an incredible experience, so even the interview would be a really good opportunity for me.

Also, DP finally kicked his butt into gear!  He’s got out of his funk and cleaned up a little, thank goodness.  Anyway, I’m off to make tea in a minute.  The cheesecake below was ridiculous! I was subsumed by “aaaaaah chocolate!” hormones, and couldn’t in any good conscience claim an OP food day! I am adding another contingency - only one piece of chocolate a day.  I don’t know what possesed me today, I’m just glad I reasserted self control before I ate the whole damn thing.  Naughty mango…

Weight Today: 154lbs (+/- 0lbs)

Breakfast: none

Lunch: tuna sweetcorn baguette on wholemeal with mixed peppers, plus a caramel slice

Afternoon snack: slice of cheesecake - around 540kcal, oh dear!

Tea: homemade risotto

Water: 104oz!

Exercise: 45 minute walk, 50 straight sit ups, 20 left side twists, 20 right side twists, 60 reps of 17.4lb weights

I love my risotto. I have a full-fat recipe (the original one I concocted) and a lower-cal one that I adjusted.  Instead of chicken I use extra lean turkey, red peppers and green peas.  I changed out the 35g of butter for 20g of low-fat margerine and change the richer italian cheese for a smaller amount of parmesan.  It is DELICIOUS and my token dish.  I am proud of it

Mango x

My DP that is, though the “dear” is a bit of a stretch at the moment.  He’s been in a pissy mood all day because his PC’s broken down again, which I can understand and I appreciate this adds to the money worries etc. but his attitude irritates the hell out of me.  Rather than be proactive he just sits and moans and wallows in self pity.  Which I can do as well, I know, but I have enough to deal with having an exam tomorrow and doing studying today, I don’t need to be holding him up as well!

He was meant to be going to Taekwondo tonight, which I said would help vent some frustration, produce endorphins etc. and make him feel better but he couldn’t be bothered. He has a testing at the end of the month so it’s his own damn fault if he doesn’t pass. I am trying to be patient as I realise one of us has to be the adult, hence the rant here, I am just fed up of the apathy.  He will need to grow up sometime, but apparently isn’t ready to take the plunge just yet.

Studying has taken a lot out of me today; a lot of facts and figures and given the general bad mood vibes in the house I haven’t been able to take over the living room to exercise (don’t get me started on the mess he’s got sprawled out in there!)  It’s a petty excuse I know, and I will need to make up for it to earn some more stars but today I’m just all out of enthusiasm.

Weight Today: 154lbs (-0.4lbs)

Breakfast: none

Lunch: 75g pasta with tomato, basil and crushed garlic sauce with a small amount of grated cheese

Afternoon snack: 10 small chocolate coins

Tea: spaghetti bolognaise with lean mince and tomato and oregano sauce

Water: 64oz

Exercise: none as yet

Too much carbs, not enough exercise.  It’ll get better.

Mango x

My brain is currently enforcing an embargo upon any study-related activities.  How irritating.  I have an exam on Tuesday and while reasonably well prepared I still need to refine my knowledge.  Partly it is my fault for cutting it far to close to the wire to start studying, but at least I have learned from my error for next year.  However, when I am sitting here thinking “I need to learn this” and my brain just wont compute it is annoying.  I don’t have time to take breaks, but apparently my body has run out of adrenaline and cortisol to produce to get me into gear.

The embargo doesn’t cover anything else though, so I am still feeling highly motivated!  DP is at work until 9.45pm, so I am making chilli con carne for tea and eating mine early.  Once he’s scarfed down his (because no matter what I tell him he simply refuses to eat slowly) we are going for our walk. Not sure where, just a wee wander probably.

I took my starting weight today - 155lbs. I hate the 150’s.  I’ve been in them for a year!  And normally around the 155 mark too so it seems tantalising close to the 140’s yet so far away.  I am going to work hard to break that barrier down soon!

Thank you inkheatmeg for your comment, well done you for sticking it out!  I am hoping my boyfriend will continue to muck in and do his bit, but I have learnt that it takes 90 days to establish a habit, so as long as we make it to that point I’ll have established that habit by then!

Weight Today: 155lbs

Breakfast: wholemeal toast with raspberry jam

Morning snack: mini Twirl bar (140kcal)

Lunch: tuna steak and a pear

Afternoon snack: two maryland cookies (small)

Tea: chilli con carne made with lean steak mince, chilli kindey beans, chilli sauce and brown rice; with a pinch of grated cheese on top

Water: 64oz

Exercise: 30 minute walk (up hills!) and 20 reps of 17.6lb weights