I’m having a lovely day today.  The fog has been burnt off by the sun and it’s turned into an absolutely beautiful day.  I’ve been out for a walk to and from uni and at the moment I’ve got the TV on in the background and I’m finishing off the final parts of my Brownie Guide Leadership Qualification.  It’s one of those days where I get reflective, but in a nice way.  It’s one of those days I look at where I feel thankful for a lot of things and I feel proud of a lot of things and look at things I want to do.

I’m proud of my academic achievements.  Today was the prize giving ceremony at university so now I have a certificate to frame and put up on my wall.  (The cheque’s been put into my bank account and I’m especially thankful for that, it couldn’t have come at a better time!)  A lot of the people were in their graduation robes and it just reaffirmed how hard I need (and want) to work so that when it’s my turn to put on those robes next year for my graduation I can feel truly proud.

I’m thankful for my opportunity to get to university, for my parents being able to support me so I can focus completely on my studies next year.  I’m thankful for my health and my peace of mind.  I’m thankful for this new “at peace” mentality. I’m thankful for all you chicks here, who keep me on the straight and narrow and a place to tell my own story.

I’m making progress.  Maybe not weight wise or size wise right now (I don’t know, I’m not weighing or measuring any more) but I am feeling a lot happier.  I’m still committed to making a healthier, fitter me.  DP and I are budgetting so I can start a dance class next semester, which I’ve wanted to do since we moved here.  Plus I’m doing my Walk With Me! every day and still enjoying it.  I’ve come to the conclusion that if you want to move more it’s a good choice.  Yes, it’s basically a step counter, but it motivates me more than any other one I’ve had.

I want to keep moving, to keep making progress.  I want to change the world one person at a time :)  That’s the life mission I want to dedicate myself to

Days like today make me feel hopeful and ambitious and ready to take on anything.  I wish I could share the feeling with you, but since that doesn’t go through the internet cables too well here’s some encouragement instead:

You’re wonderful!  Being here, working as part of this community, you’re streets ahead.  That little sunny feeling you get when you lose a pound or push yourself to a new limit in your workout or the quiet satisfaction when you get your house spotless - internalise it, make it your little inner sun that brightens your mood when it just feels too hard.  Make use of what being a community means - come here when you need support and you’ll get it!  You’re turning your life around.  Be proud, be strong and well done!  You’re all inspirational

Mango x

I stepped on the scale this morning.  157.8lbs.  Eek!  Not a brilliant start to the day.  I’m trying to keep focused about it though.  I made my “Clean it up!” page, where I have everything I need to work on listed.  Food is the biggest thing right now as exercise is taking care of itself at the moment so I only need to keep half an eye on it.

I’ve only missed my walking target once in the last week, which was yesterday.  We visited DP’s parents and didn’t get back till late so there wasn’t much oppotunity for walking, but even still I only missed by a couple of hundred steps in the end.  I’m upping my target from 6000 to 8000 tomorrow.  The recommended step target is 10,000 a day but in an attempt to make more realistic targets that step up gradually I’m not going there straight off.  I’m building up, getting used to the new limit, then building up again.  So exercise is good.

However, I do need to put more effort in with food but in a sensible way.  Rather than attempt to sort out everything at once though I’ll tackle it one aspect at a time.  Breakfast is great.  I have a high fibre, low fat cereal with fruit.  Lunch is orange right now, so I think I’ll go for that next.  It’s pretty good, just a little bit refined.  Sandwiches with a little cheese or some tuna or a cinammon raisin bagel with a thin spread of extra light Philadelphia.  While philly does have more calories than say, lettuce, I don’t like lettuce.  And it is extra light.  With just a sandwich and maybe some fruit or a small milkshake I feel that’s not bad.  I’m also going to crack down on snacking at the same time.  It’s not changing anything, it’s just saying NO!  I CAN do that.

I can’t get disheartened.  Making these changes will have positive effects.  I can’t give up because I am making positive changes to my life and my health.

Working again today so I’m feeling pretty worn down, but I’ve got a nice week coming up!

I am visiting my new Brownies tomorrow!  And this isn’t the chocolate variety.  Brownie Guides are like young girl scouts, in the UK we have Rainbows (5-7 years), Brownies (7-10 years), Guides (10-14 years) and Senior Section (14-25 years).  I’m nearly finished my leadership qualification and I will be taking over the Brownie pack in August, where I am going to be Brown Owl, which I’m totally psyched about!  Brownies love to do badges and are much easier to deal with than the pre-pubescent Guides I work with at the moment.  I’ve already worked up a provisional program, which I can shape up once I know the school term dates (because Brownies only runs during the school term) and how this pack likes to do something.  If you’re interested in becoming a volunteer, or just to understand what on earth I’m talking about, check out the Girlguiding UK website.

I’m also going to stay with my parents for a few days, and I am looking forward to seeing them.  They’ve been so good to both me and DP, and helped us out of more than our fair share of financial problems recently.  It’s also nice to spend time just the three of us (I’m an only child) without DP.  While they’re at work I can play my computer or the Xbox and I’m also taking readings to work on for my dissertation project and some Brownie stuff.  And exercise of course!  I’m meeting them at the train station on Tuesday then we’re heading out for a meal and to see Angels and Demons, which my dad’s been dying to see for ages.  My parents are great, and I’m glad I can spend some time with them.

Weight is back to 154lbs.  It’s officially been 2 weeks now, and I’m 1lb down.  It’s not brilliant progress, but it’s better than going no where.  I need to keep pushing hard, probably try to push more than 64 oz of water a day and do as much exercise as I can.  Because, as DP keeps reminding me, while the scales might not show a difference, the exercise can’t be making things worse and if I can trim off some body fat, it’s all good.

Hope you all had a good weekend!  And P.S. I am waaay excited about being joint fifth in W8C at the moment (until everyone else updates tonight!!!)  DP hasn’t heard the end of it!

Also - I thought I’d share this, Lolcatz get me through the sad times

Today is a tough day, but we’re getting through it. I’m sure many of you will have, at some time, experienced the pinch when money gets tight.  We’re being pinched quite tightly today…  Our cat needs xrays that are going to cost around £150 (though maybe a few pounds less the vet says, because that helps) and we got news from our electricity company that they made a mistake on our bill.  Instead of being £120 in credit, we owe them £120.  Frustrating. Add that to the looming holiday, we’ve £250 to pay for the second plane ticket, I’ve got to renew my passport for £75 and we’re going to have to buy some stuff.  I’ve only 3 pairs of jeans and one skirt that fits me right now; not great attire for the south of France in July.

It all adds up, but I am surprised at my rallying attitude. I let myself have a little internal sulk for a while and wallow a bit in my misery, then shook it off and started looking at things objectively.  I realised I was glad the electricity company had been in touch, because it would have been a nasty shock down the line.  And the cat is our baby, we took on that responsibility and we’ve taken out pet insurance so while it wont cover his xrays it’ll cover anything else later down the line, for only £7 a month.  And while I could give up my holiday, I don’t want to. This has been a hard academic year and I need the time to unwind before things kick off again.  We’re going with my parents, aunt, uncle and cousin who’s the same age as us so it is a family holiday.  My mum can’t get refunds on our ticket and we’ve already paid off one.  When my student loan comes in on Thursday I can give her some and whittle away at the debt.

I’ve also started looking for a job working with at-risk adults, dementia care etc.  While this sounds altruistic it isn’t totally.  I want to help people, but it’s also valuable experience that builds my CV and will increase my chances of getting on to a Clinical Psychology course in the future.  It’s also a little extra money.

So in short, I’m surprised at myself in how quickly I have shaken it off and dealt with it.  There would have been times in the past where I just would have given up. Isn’t it amazing how resourceful the mind can be when you coax it?  Positive thinking - it’s the key!  I won’t be beaten down because I don’t want to be.  I’m going to try and apply the same attitude to my weight loss.

And the good news?  154lbs today - 1lb down, 29 to go! (And that wasn’t sarcasm!)

Mango x