I like this.  My cat does this a lot.  The other one tried to eat it.

How am I?  Not too bad thanks!  Got some productive cleaning done today, so everywhere looks nice apart from the kitchen.  DP needs to clean up his modelling stuff before I even go near there because only then will it look approachable.  But that’s ok!  I like clean houses Otherwise I am somewhat anxious.  Exam results are due this week, but my School does a fabulous thing saying “Yes results are this week, this many people passed, this many people failed, but guess what!  You have to guess when you’re results are out!”  So we have to refresh the online publication site over and over.  I’m betting tomorrow.  I slept badly last night with nerves and exam dreams - fun fun!

I am still looking at my weight loss options.  DP has program workout/weight loss/recipes etc. from a program he paid a lot for, used and saw success with.  It’s also got mass gain programs inbuilt as it’s designed for skinny people who want to bulk up with muscle mass, but if you’ve a body fat percentage of over 18% you need to do the weight loss program first.  That’ll be me then!  It’s appealling because it’s got pretty strict food plans, which are also quite restricted - mostly grilled chicken for protein with rice and veggies; comprised into 6 small meals a day.  However, because I sleep a lot and I would have a really low calorie meal (only around 150-200 per meal) and each needs to have protein, carbs and fat I might need to reduce it to five.  It also encorporates free weight and body weight lifting to increase weight loss, with proper serious weights!  So I’d be restructuring it to suit me and what I have at home.

The catch 22?  If DP doesn’t want on board, I don’t think it’d be realistic for me to achieve this.  Unless we’re both doing it and can take turns with the cooking and preparations and doing exercise together (after all, he’s gpt experience of this, I don’t), I don’t think this would be feasible.  It’s such an extreme change that me doing it while he eats as he pleases doesn’t really work when there’s only two of us in the house and we share the grocery bills - it requires a lot of more expensive fresh produce.  If we’re not both on the program, it’s too expensive on our limited budget to fund two separate grocery lists.

So I’m still pondering.  I hope you’re all having nice Wednesdays.

Well that’s it - I am well and truly FREE!

The exam today wasn’t as bad as I had feared.  I was very lucky with questions, and they were ones I had revised for.  I think I’ve done enough and that’s all I want to say about it, I am DONE!  The only thing I’ll add is that it is weird correcting myself now - “No Mango, you don’t need to feel guilty for checking email and blogs”!

And today didn’t go as badly as I thought it might have foodwise.  It could’ve been a hell of a lot worse!  And I got two hours walking today, woop woop!

Exam food:  Dairy Milk

Lunch: one burger roll, one sausage on a roll

Tea: lentil curry with wild rice

After-tea snack: some Maltesers

Water: 86oz

Exercise: 2 hours walking, half of which was with groceries!

And I am too tired to colour code or add more to this post right now (got about 2 and a half hours of sleep last night) but rest assured exercise is going up a gear from tomorrow!

Well obviously given that I have more revision to do, procrastination is my preferred option right now.  I am not particularly hopeful for tomorrow’s exam.  I do know pretty much all my notes (apart from what I’m learning today) but while this is the layman-friendly baby subject the lecturers are harsh with their questions and even harsher with their marking.

I had a better weigh in today (= happy Mango!) and can’t wait till tomorrow afternoon!  All my classmates and I are going to Magdalen Green, a big wide open park to have a BBQ and play rounders :)  And I am going to be super active doing a MAJOR overhaul of this flat.  I tell you, biohazard suits should be worn at the moment - this is what happens when I don’t have time to do the cleaning, bf’s “picking up the slack” is little more than, well… nothing really!  AND now exams are over I will be earning super stars WOOHOO!  Gym when it’s rainy, walking when it’s sunny or playing rounders or just tossing a ball about I’ll be able to be outside again rather than stuck in learning stuff!

Weight Today: 154.2lbs (-0.6lbs)

Brunch: 2 slices of reheated veggie pizza

Afternoon snack: two plums

Tea: chilli con carne with brown rice, petit filous for pudding

Water: 86oz

Exercise: 35 minutes walking to post office and around town

Ok so updating then…  It’s 11.05pm on the night before the exam and I can tell you I am officially down-and-out terrified.  I know I know, there’s no more learning I can do now, I’ve done the best I can in a short space of time, it takes a hell of a bad answer to fail.  Regardless, I am TERRIFIED.  I can tell you now ladies, tomorrow will not be an OP food day, I am going to Tonic for my lunch (my favourite lunch-style bistro/restaurant) because I haven’t been there since February and it is a huge treat.  Also, I will probably be having some cider or what not because I will be *shell shocked*.  But there will probably be quite a lot of walking as well, so not to worry.

If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, I’m not dead, I’m probably just passed out in a hibernatory state.  See you on the other side chicks; let’s hope I’m the same person…

Mango x

Finally, after rain this morning, the sun has come out.  I love the view from my bedroom window :)  We’re at the top of a three story tenement building and our garden is joined up with the street parallel to us.  There’s a big huge beech tree in the back garden and the green leaves look so bright against the sandstone of the tenement across the gardens, it’s so pretty!

I’ve finished another topic of revision for my exam, which is good!  1 to go (and 1 day left of studying to go too!)  I am looking forward to being FREEEEE!  I really am so excited :)  My cousin’s 20th birthday party is on Thursday, then the next week I’m going to visit my parents for a few days, probably Tuesday to Friday or something.  It’s nice to just chill out with nothing to do and be able to enjoy doing nothing!  However, I’ll probably get bored quickly so I’m taking some reading to do for my dissertation project :)  How geeky am I?

Also, in the last week of May I am going to Skye (a beautiful island in the Scottish West Hebrides - google it) with a group of friends in the year above me.  I hadn’t been going to go, because of financial reasons, but the cat has improved on his own and since we don’t have to pay for xrays - bingo!  Holiday!  It’s very special to me though.  I met two of the girls in the group at a psychology away trip in January (which was run by the department and a whole load of people in my year went and four 4th years, including my two friends).  But even though everyone who went on that trip made friends with everyone, I’ve kind of been included into their special group.  It’s not about being in with the cool gang or anything, I just feel really special because they are great people.  There’s going to be about 10 of us going and when I told them I could go they were so happy!  I try to think of that memory when I’m sad.

In other news - thank you so much Diet Buddy!  I ordered the WW handbook and a 3 month tracker journal from eBay for under £10.  Hopefully this will give me all the information I need, though I may need to buy a points calculator or something to get the points values.  I’m going to give it a decent try.  I think before, I may not have been completely honest with myself or been particularly rigid in weighing things and counting points, but this time I am motivated and prepared to take the good days with the bad.  And I want stars so no cheating!

I’ll get food and exercise in later

Mango x

Ugh today has not been a good food day!

My exam went quite well though (finally - one exam I don’t feel sick about!) and I am studying later for the next one; Developmental Psychology.  I’m also making headway about gaining clinical experience.  A psychologist on the clinical psychology forum I’m a member of got in touch saying a 14-25hour vacancy is coming up in my area.  It’s a lot of hours, but an incredible experience, so even the interview would be a really good opportunity for me.

Also, DP finally kicked his butt into gear!  He’s got out of his funk and cleaned up a little, thank goodness.  Anyway, I’m off to make tea in a minute.  The cheesecake below was ridiculous! I was subsumed by “aaaaaah chocolate!” hormones, and couldn’t in any good conscience claim an OP food day! I am adding another contingency - only one piece of chocolate a day.  I don’t know what possesed me today, I’m just glad I reasserted self control before I ate the whole damn thing.  Naughty mango…

Weight Today: 154lbs (+/- 0lbs)

Breakfast: none

Lunch: tuna sweetcorn baguette on wholemeal with mixed peppers, plus a caramel slice

Afternoon snack: slice of cheesecake - around 540kcal, oh dear!

Tea: homemade risotto

Water: 104oz!

Exercise: 45 minute walk, 50 straight sit ups, 20 left side twists, 20 right side twists, 60 reps of 17.4lb weights

I love my risotto. I have a full-fat recipe (the original one I concocted) and a lower-cal one that I adjusted.  Instead of chicken I use extra lean turkey, red peppers and green peas.  I changed out the 35g of butter for 20g of low-fat margerine and change the richer italian cheese for a smaller amount of parmesan.  It is DELICIOUS and my token dish.  I am proud of it

Mango x

My DP that is, though the “dear” is a bit of a stretch at the moment.  He’s been in a pissy mood all day because his PC’s broken down again, which I can understand and I appreciate this adds to the money worries etc. but his attitude irritates the hell out of me.  Rather than be proactive he just sits and moans and wallows in self pity.  Which I can do as well, I know, but I have enough to deal with having an exam tomorrow and doing studying today, I don’t need to be holding him up as well!

He was meant to be going to Taekwondo tonight, which I said would help vent some frustration, produce endorphins etc. and make him feel better but he couldn’t be bothered. He has a testing at the end of the month so it’s his own damn fault if he doesn’t pass. I am trying to be patient as I realise one of us has to be the adult, hence the rant here, I am just fed up of the apathy.  He will need to grow up sometime, but apparently isn’t ready to take the plunge just yet.

Studying has taken a lot out of me today; a lot of facts and figures and given the general bad mood vibes in the house I haven’t been able to take over the living room to exercise (don’t get me started on the mess he’s got sprawled out in there!)  It’s a petty excuse I know, and I will need to make up for it to earn some more stars but today I’m just all out of enthusiasm.

Weight Today: 154lbs (-0.4lbs)

Breakfast: none

Lunch: 75g pasta with tomato, basil and crushed garlic sauce with a small amount of grated cheese

Afternoon snack: 10 small chocolate coins

Tea: spaghetti bolognaise with lean mince and tomato and oregano sauce

Water: 64oz

Exercise: none as yet

Too much carbs, not enough exercise.  It’ll get better.

Mango x

Brace yourself girls, this is sent to be a long post!  It’s been such an up and down day I feel like I’ve lived out 72 hours rather than under 24!

As I said in my last post there was all that drama with the police and stupid criminals last night, which meant I didn’t sleep tremendously.  I was horribly anxious this morning and felt to sick to eat so I’m afraid I didn’t weigh-in this morning; I couldn’t face extra stress!  My exam this morning was a 3 hour paper on Biological Psychology, Performance and Perception and is the worst subject for me.  It wasn’t a good exam and I’m sure if I passed it’s only a C3 (C-) or a D.  However, it’s over now and I’m focusing for the next one - Social Psychology and Individual Differences on Thursday afternoon.  Exams will all be over in a week, which simultaneously feels like forever and not nearly enough time.  I’ll get there though! Study hard…

Food today hasn’t been brilliant.  After the exam I went for lunch with some classmates and ordered a burger and fries with a pint of Magner’s cider (it was that kind of shellshock).  I ate the chips - there were only 9 little totsy ones! - and after two bites of the burger I decided I didn’t like it enough to make it worth the calories. I had a quarter of my pint; it took enough time for me to drink that to take the edge from my anxiety.  I got a baguette from my favourite sandwich deli instead, along with a little treat.  It’s 9pm now and I’m only just starting to get tickles of hunger.  If I have anything it will probably be only a small bowl of pasta with pesto.  I LOVE pesto!!

Weight today: ???

Breakfast: none - too anxious!

Lunch: two bites of a bad burger, 9 small fries then wholemeal tuna mayo sweetcorn baguette and a caramel shortcake

Afternoon snack: one maryland cookie (small), sunmaid raisins

Tea: tbc

Water: 80oz!!

Exercise: 45 minute walk, 50 straight sit ups, 20 left side twists, 20 right side twists, 40 reps of 17.4lb weights

I am super pleased with myself about my water, 80z is easier when you have pint glasses and a little diluting juice :)  The exercise was good too.  I cycled between the weights and different types of sit ups to vary it a bit and my stomach has that delicious “worked hard” feeling.

But the best thing about today - I joined Eileen’s May Challenge and I am totally, uber excited about it!  Seriously, I never knew I could be so damn motivated about little pixel stars!!  I have four from 2 on plan food days and the accumulated exercise.  I am determined to get a GREEN star as soon as I can!  Thank you a hundred times Eileen for motivating me - good job!

And McCupcake - I’m glad you got something from the paper.  It just clicked with me when I was studying that it was so relevant to what we’re all doing here!

Take care all,

Mango x