Firstly, I apologise for not writing much recently; there’s been a lot going on in dear old Mango’s life at the moment.

I got allocated my classes for fourth year, which I’m totally excited about - I got the exact ones I wanted!  It’s a strange system, but at my university you list your top 10 in order of preference, then get allocated three out of those.  There’s a whole load of strange and crazy rules for how they are allocated, e.g. they should be within the top 7, one should be from the top 2, any language module in the top 7 will be allocated, if you get your first choice your less likely to get you third, and so on.  Somehow (perhaps just by luck) I got the three I really wanted.  Paired with my refound enthusiasm for my dissertation and I am extremely psyched for next year.

I also got a bit of a shock recently.  I have an abnormal mole on my toe which I thought to get checked as it seemed to have gotten darker recently.  I got a letter from the hospital after a week saying I need to go get it removed on Tuesday.  It’s just under a local (scary!) but because the need to cut 2.5x the length of the mole to make sure all of the melanoma is removed and it’s already the length of my toenail they need to cut off a huge part of my toe!  They will send part of it for a biopsy but they don’t think it’s malignant.  I hope not.  But it really made me stop and go “I’m only 20, and that could have been cancer”.  That scared the hell out of me.

So, I’m recharged.  I’m returning to tracking with a renewed effort and the same with activity.  I’ve signed up for the MoonWalk and Race for Life 2010 and I’ll be signing up for the weight challenge again next month.  I’m excited about the two challenges.  The former raises money for breast cancer research, treatment and aid to sufferers; the latter raises money for research into all cancers in the UK.  What good causes!  So it’ll involve a lot of training between now and then.  I’m just walking both, but the MoonWalk itself has two choices of distance - 13.1 miles (a half marathon), which is the one I think I’ll go for! and 26.2 miles (a full marathon).  I’m going to ask my aunty and cousin to join me too - maybe even DP will join in, but he’ll have to wear a bra!  For more information, go to http://www.walkthewalk.org/Home.

Good afternoon, how are we all?

I am still using my Walk With Me! and I was right, it is just a gimmicky thing but there’s something cute about it I like very much.  I think it’s the flashy light.  It doesn’t have a step count on it, just a wee light that flashes red until you reach your step target, when it changes to green.  You connect via infra-red to your DS and it tells you how many steps you’ve done and your walking style.  So far I’ve been an evening owl, a day-time horse and a day-time deer.  Hehe.  I put it on my cat for a while too, but she scratched it off too quickly.

It shows your day’s walking in a graph like that one.  And I’m having a lot of fun with it.  Every little bit of walking all adds up!  It is certainly encouraging me to move more.  I wouldn’t have paid full price for it, but I don’t think I’ll take it back.

As for my title - well DP and I did a major summer-clean today.  I wrote lists for each room of what needed doing and as I did it kind of came to me that changing our lifestyles is much like this.  I have far too much of an “everything now” attitude; as in I need to change every aspect of my lifestyle all at once right now.  It just can’t work like that - that’d be like trying to clean every room of my house simultaneously.  Not possible.  Instead, like cleaning, we need to tackle one thing at a time breaking down the house (lifestyle) into rooms (things we want to change about our lifestyle) and in turn, all the things we need to do in each of those rooms (the things we do to change our lifestyle).  It’s something we all know, but it just worked out as an allegory that fitted for me :)  I want to change my diet, exercise regime and attitude.  These break down into smaller things.  I’ve sorted out breakfast, stopped snacking and drinking fizzy drinks and alcohol.  I’m moving more and drinking more water.  I’m working on dampening the negative attitude.  Next I need to shape up lunch and tea a bit more - but I will get there.

Diet

• Breakfast
• Lunch
• Tea
• Snacking
• Drinks

Exercise

• More more more!

Attitude

• Positive mental attitude
• Can do!
• It’s not going to happen overnight, but we’ll get there…

Hey everyone.

I just wanted to say thank you so much for all your supportive comments.  I am feeling a lot better about things right now, I think I needed to realign my thinking to avoid my obsessive behaviour and to gain a more realistic mindset.  All your comments did me the world of good!  Also one of Sunny’s posts, which told me in no uncertain terms in her wonderful down to earth way that being healthy is my responsibility, not something that can just be done on a whim.  I heart you Sunny :)  Hehe.

I’m not using the scale now.  I might hop on occassionally, but no more than once a month.  DP’s hidden it.  I have made myself a promise to move every day.  Not for a given amount of time or a given activity, just to move.  Walk, yoga, skipping rope, frisbee, gardening…  Moving is the important thing.  Obviously I am eating sensibly too and keeping to the no carbonated drinks or alcohol rule.  But working on moving every day I can make it a game, not a chore, and build up my activity levels as I go without the extreme focus on minutes gained, calories burnt etc. etc.

So I’m back girlies and posting again.

Oh yeah, did I say something about results?

….

I kicked those exams’ asses!  A, B+, B, B!!  I am one happy chickie!!  I need 3 A’s next year (perfectly achievable) to graduate with a First (I think it’s something like [something] Com Laude - sorry for the awful latin - for my American counterparts).  So yeh - I’m a happy girl!  And totally psyched for next year.  I’ve had the fright, I know what I need to do and I will work very hard for that beautiful degree

Mango x

So I’m freshly showered after my exercise today.  Yoga?  Good!  Walk to and from run-route?  Lovely!  Body weight workout with sit ups and lunges?  Tough but feeling strong.  Run?  Bloody awful!

Perhaps I should have taken into account the fact that the boys giving me advice on running have been playing rugby since they were seven and they’re 21 now - that’s a lot of years.  I seriously overestimated my fitness level, I practically died out there!  It is HOT, the hottest weather we’ve seen this year in this country.  I have more freckles than I did when I left this morning!  But seriously, it was awful.  I ended up running 5 lamposts and walking 5-6.

That left me seriously scared.  How am I going to do this 5 times a week?!  I can’t give up, but by gosh this is not fun!

It’s the 31st of May already, I can’t quite believe it!  Simultaneously though, it feels like this month has been the equivalent of two and a half normal months; I’ve done so much studying, sat three exams, gone to Skye for a week and all the other things in between!

Skye was a great holiday.  It was lovely to get away with my friends and I came back feeling rejuvenated and ready to go.  I also had something of an epiphany about my relationship with DP, but the good kind!  To tell the truth it was all to do with a dream I had, but don’t really remember.  I just remember lying in that half-waking half-sleeping state where you are still partly existing in your dream, but are aware you’re waking up.  I felt so contented and like a little bubble had spread around me - protecting me - and radiating from my heart out.  I’m not sure what clicked in my brain, but I woke up with such conviction that this man loves me with all his heart, and even if he didn’t it wouldn’t matter because I am truly devoted to him, and that such an emotion is not only incredibly rare but also uplifting.  Sounds a bit teen-romance perhaps, but ever since I’ve been dealing with things much better, less frustrated, more optimistic.  I have a little happy sun in my heart.

Moving on from my nauseating sentimentality, my weigh in today was AWFUL!  157.6lbs.  So overall this month, 2.6lbs gain.  NOT GOOD!  I have done exercise, stuck OP most days, drank my water but apparently I haven’t been eating the right kinds.  I’m also developing new criteria for June challenge.  I am hating WW, so not doing points.  Instead, my criteria are revolving more around exercise.  Still 64oz+ water a day, but also yoga for one hour 6 days a week, running for 30 minutes 5 days a week, and 50+ sit ups every night.  I am not doing the C25K program, although I’d considered it.  Instead I’ve taken advice from two friends who run everyday and do half marathons etc.  They suggested I start at a talking speed for half an hour, even if that’s just a fast walk or means I have to slow down after a while.  They’ve both had experience with C25K and said when you’re learning how to run you don’t keep up the same pace after stopping, and when you walk you walk too slow so the heart rate isn’t as good.

I’m also cutting out alcohol and carbonated drinks completely.  I have known for a while aspartame can mess with your digestive system, but I wasn’t aware it also increases the fat stored at your stomach, which is where I have most to lose from.  At the end of the day, I could go for an easier exercise plan or just say less fizzy drinks but I’ve come to the conclusion that that kind of plan ends up in half-assed commitment from me, which equals poor results.  If I’m going to do this, I need to be prepared to make these sacrifices and utilise this commitment.  If I balk at the thought of that I’m not going to do well.  So I’m facing June with a new resolve.

Bring it on June!  I’m going to kick your ass!