Comparing ourselves to others can be useful.  If I want to gauge how well I am doing academically, I compare myself first to my peers in my classes, then to my friend who has just graduation with First Class honours and was awarded the British Psychological Society medal for the highest achieving graduate in the whole of the UK.  You might have guessed I don’t rank myself as highly as her!  However, the comparison has helped me to improve my own skills markedly in the last semester.  By setting my goals (and general standards) higher, I pushed myself to do better and to strive.  It resulted in the best exam results I’ve ever had and (without complacency) a placing within the top percentage of my class.

I compare myself to others in Guiding.  Will I be a better pack leader?  Am I making as much of a difference as X, Y and Z?  Should I be doing more?  And we all compare ourselves when it comes to weight.  Am I lighter than her?  Why am I not losing weight as fast?  Why do I slip up where she has rock-solid commitment?

Slowly, the line between healthy and obsessive comparison blurs.  My academic comparisons make me strive to achieve, but my weight comparisons drive me to despair.  Why?  Because there’s too many variables!  That other girl might get up at 4am and work out for 2 hours every day, I might be retaining water, we might have different diets, she might be wheat-intolerant and so is no slave to carbs.

So I’m not doing it anymore.  I’ll go to Weight Watchers and mark my points and my exercise and my weigh in every week and my only comparison will be “Did I do better than last week?  Am I finding it easier?  Did I snack less?  Did I do more exercise?“  I can only realistically compare myself to myself because I’m the only person who has exactly the same experience and lifestyle etc. week on week!

When I compare myself to last week (so far), I am tracking again, which is an improvement; I slipped up yesterday with a chocolate snack but I’ve moved on and am back at it today.

Only this kind of comparison is going to get me through weight loss and when I stand at the end of my journey stones lighter, and ONLY THEN, can I say “Good job.”