My DP that is, though the “dear” is a bit of a stretch at the moment.  He’s been in a pissy mood all day because his PC’s broken down again, which I can understand and I appreciate this adds to the money worries etc. but his attitude irritates the hell out of me.  Rather than be proactive he just sits and moans and wallows in self pity.  Which I can do as well, I know, but I have enough to deal with having an exam tomorrow and doing studying today, I don’t need to be holding him up as well!

He was meant to be going to Taekwondo tonight, which I said would help vent some frustration, produce endorphins etc. and make him feel better but he couldn’t be bothered. He has a testing at the end of the month so it’s his own damn fault if he doesn’t pass. I am trying to be patient as I realise one of us has to be the adult, hence the rant here, I am just fed up of the apathy.  He will need to grow up sometime, but apparently isn’t ready to take the plunge just yet.

Studying has taken a lot out of me today; a lot of facts and figures and given the general bad mood vibes in the house I haven’t been able to take over the living room to exercise (don’t get me started on the mess he’s got sprawled out in there!)  It’s a petty excuse I know, and I will need to make up for it to earn some more stars but today I’m just all out of enthusiasm.

Weight Today: 154lbs (-0.4lbs)

Breakfast: none

Lunch: 75g pasta with tomato, basil and crushed garlic sauce with a small amount of grated cheese

Afternoon snack: 10 small chocolate coins

Tea: spaghetti bolognaise with lean mince and tomato and oregano sauce

Water: 64oz

Exercise: none as yet

Too much carbs, not enough exercise.  It’ll get better.

Mango x

Today is a tough day, but we’re getting through it. I’m sure many of you will have, at some time, experienced the pinch when money gets tight.  We’re being pinched quite tightly today…  Our cat needs xrays that are going to cost around £150 (though maybe a few pounds less the vet says, because that helps) and we got news from our electricity company that they made a mistake on our bill.  Instead of being £120 in credit, we owe them £120.  Frustrating. Add that to the looming holiday, we’ve £250 to pay for the second plane ticket, I’ve got to renew my passport for £75 and we’re going to have to buy some stuff.  I’ve only 3 pairs of jeans and one skirt that fits me right now; not great attire for the south of France in July.

It all adds up, but I am surprised at my rallying attitude. I let myself have a little internal sulk for a while and wallow a bit in my misery, then shook it off and started looking at things objectively.  I realised I was glad the electricity company had been in touch, because it would have been a nasty shock down the line.  And the cat is our baby, we took on that responsibility and we’ve taken out pet insurance so while it wont cover his xrays it’ll cover anything else later down the line, for only £7 a month.  And while I could give up my holiday, I don’t want to. This has been a hard academic year and I need the time to unwind before things kick off again.  We’re going with my parents, aunt, uncle and cousin who’s the same age as us so it is a family holiday.  My mum can’t get refunds on our ticket and we’ve already paid off one.  When my student loan comes in on Thursday I can give her some and whittle away at the debt.

I’ve also started looking for a job working with at-risk adults, dementia care etc.  While this sounds altruistic it isn’t totally.  I want to help people, but it’s also valuable experience that builds my CV and will increase my chances of getting on to a Clinical Psychology course in the future.  It’s also a little extra money.

So in short, I’m surprised at myself in how quickly I have shaken it off and dealt with it.  There would have been times in the past where I just would have given up. Isn’t it amazing how resourceful the mind can be when you coax it?  Positive thinking - it’s the key!  I won’t be beaten down because I don’t want to be.  I’m going to try and apply the same attitude to my weight loss.

And the good news?  154lbs today - 1lb down, 29 to go! (And that wasn’t sarcasm!)

Mango x