I am MILF

Despite still having a monstrous headache, I stepped on the scale this morning and felt a whole lot better. I know it has a lot to do with my vomit fest last night after taking my medication. I’m sure I will pile back on two or three pounds once I am not sick anymore, but I can be excited for one day.

Now that I have met my goal, I am making a new one. 135. I thought 145 was going to be impossible; now I know I can do it. I wanted 135 to be my goal initially, but I just didn’t want a number looming over the progress I did make, like close, but no cigar. I am going to give myself a few months to accomplish this goal because holidays are coming up and the more I lose, the harder it gets to keep going.

135, here I come!

So I have no idea what I weight right now because I can’t stand up without almost falling over.  I spent the day in the hospital after going through excruciating pain all night.  I had the worst headache of my entire life.  I have never had headaches and when I stopped at the clinic, they told me they were worried and that I should go immediately to the hospital.

They thought I might have a brain bleed since it was so bad.  My mom was so sick as well that she couldn’t come help because she had been popping Xanax like they were candy and shoudln’t be on the road.  The doctor came in after I was all checked in and everything and presented some of the things he thought it might be — meningitis or West Nile.  I had to have a lumbar extract and a CAT scan.  They gave me some morphine to take away my pain.  I wish I had a magic bottle full of that stuff.

Good news, they ruled out most everything with the CAT scan.  They think it could be West Nile or some other strange virus.  I feel a little better, but still can’t stand without my head feeling like it might explode.  I was just able to eat something a second ago.  I couldn’t even stomach the thought earlier.  Baby’s Daddy is taking tomorrow off to take care of Baby Boy and I.  Honestly, I was scared to go to sleep last night because I didn’t think I would wake up.  I know, dramatic, but a really good friend of mine took her husband into the hospital one day after he had a horrible headache, and he ended up having a huge brain tumor.  When they went in to excise it, he had a stroke and became paralyzed.  He died a month after their son was born.  He was also my father’s nurse when my father had throat cancer.  The day my dad died, he was asking about Brian, my friend’s husband.  So I am a little paranoid.

I am so close I can feel it.  I am at the point now to where I my weight won’t spike up above 150, so I am happy about that.  I’m pretty sure I am going to reach my mini goal of 145 in a week.  Just have to stay on my points plan and not dip into my flex too much this weekend.

We have a doctor’s appointment this morning, so hopefully I can get a prescription of the stuff they gave us last time we had to go to the doctor.  He just isn’t himself these past couple of days.  He never wants to be cuddled unless he is really tired or really sick.

What a day.  Baby Boy is teething something terrible.  I decided to skip both games and stay home with him.  The last time he had a temperature of 102, he had a seizure and I called 911.  I threatened to jump out the window if he died so that the fire truck, ambulance — whatever — would get there sooner.  Baby’s Daddy is taking tomorrow morning off so we can take shifts watching him sleep.  I am super paranoid that he will have another seizure.  Last time it happened, I didn’t sleep a full night for three days.

Through all the craziness, I did manage to squeeze in a run this morning and a quick one tonight.  I ran 2.5 miles this morning and walked 1.5 to finish it off since it was starting to get hot, and then did a before-dinner run of 2.25 miles tonight.  I am hoping this extra push is just what I need to kick this 145 poundage to the curb.

Anybody else disturbed by the news that David Duchovny is entering a sex rehab?  I was just thinking today — I swear on this — how he seemed like the best dad and husband.  He is married to Tea Leoni — love her — and they have two kids.  He is always doing triathalons, and I think he is such an underrated actor, and I just think he is cool.   I am just finishing his first season of Californication, which is brilliant.  Just feel bad for his family is all.

Drats!  I am so friggin hungry ever since I had to lower my points.  I have a couple games tonight so I hopefully will stay away from the crackers I have in my pantry.  I am not going to let 148 be the death of me.  I am going to be a good dieter this weekend.  No state fair food.  Last night we had a game and spanked ‘em, so I took Baby Boy for a stroll around the track.  We had to leave early because those skeeters are so bad around here (river is less than a half mile away).  

My mini goal is to hit 145 in two weeks.

I jogged — I know, I lied about the “run” — 4.75 miles.  Maybe instead of a 5K, I will suck it up and shoot for a 10K.  I would be so proud of myself.  It isn’t until October.  I could have gone longer than what I did, but it was getting dark out and I didn’t want to set my bar too high so soon. 

Mom took me to Costco today — Woohoo!  I had seen these little fruit snacks before and thought about getting them, but they are a little pricey for as light as the box feels.  So I let her buy them for me.  Moms are the best.  Well, her intention was that I would give them to Baby Boy as a snack.  He is just going to have to share.  The particular ones I got — can’t wait to try the pinapple — are strawberry and banana; 45 calories with 2 grams of fiber and no fat!  They aren’t exactly filling, but if you just want to do something like stuff your face during a movie, they’re perfect.  They are just little pieces of freeze-dried fruit.  Hardly worth what you pay — or your mom pays, but very handy in a pinch.  I guess this is going to be one of our new splurges with our grocery money.

Well, I am still stuck at 148.  I wasn’t able to run last night because it was sooo windy.  I had to play in that crap!  We won by a run.  Neither team was happy about being there; wind makes the game so unpredictable.  I am waiting to go out to eat right now with my mom.  I think I am going to have a sandwich and salad.  I’ve been waiting all morning, and all I’ve had is a banana.  I’m starving.  

Sounds crazy, but I just know I am going to break through past 145 in about two weeks.  I can feel it.  I keep lingering around 148 because I’ve been saving a lot of my points for before bed.  Shouldn’t do that as much, but I have been trying to lay off of iced coffee.  I don’t think I realized what a huge help it was to my weight loss  It really aids in breaking up the day.  I have been running every night.  I have a game tonight, but I think I will try to run three miles afterward at the track.  I ran a couple miles yesterday and walked a couple miles, and then later that night I walked another couple miles, which is probably the sole reason I didn’t gain 10 pounds from yesterday’s banana split dessert.

I got this recipe from Real Simple magazine years ago, and it is my favorite soup recipe ever!  I will get in the mood for this and eat it for a week straight.  Canned black beans, salsa, sour cream, and canned chicken broth, and lime is all it takes.  I always buy fresh salsa from the my favorite little mexican bistro.  I never put in the dry sherry, because I don’t think it needs it.  It is super quick.  I actually double-up the recipe usually.  It is okay to freeze too since it reheats so well.

4 servings

1 cup salsa, jarred is okay, plus extra for garnish

2 (15 1/2 ounce) cans black beans, drained and rinsed

2 cups chicken broth (I use low sodium)

4 tablespoons sour cream

1 lime

4-8 tablespoons dry sherry

1.  Heat salsa in a large saucepan over medium heat, stirring frequently, for about five minutes.

2.  Stir in the beans and broth, then heat to boiling; reduce heat to low; cover and simmer 15 minutes.

3.  Cool slightly, then spoon half the soup into a food processor or blender and puree.

4.  Return the pureed soup to the saucepan and heat through. 

5.  Serve with sour cream, additional salsa, and a squeeze of lime or two.  Or, stir in 1-2 tablespoons of dry sherry to each bowl.

Since I’m on WW, I always eat this with a bunch of blue corn chips.  I know the pointage on this is very low.  Without the sour cream, it is probably around 1.5 or 2 points.  Tons of protein and fiber.