Who am I?

Who I Am? Three words that are hard for me to figure out how to answer. I could start with the obvious: I am a mother to a wonderful, active, vibrant 6 year-old little girl, a 2 year old little girl (YIKES!!) and an 8 month old little boy; married to a wonderful husband (I love my soldier!), and a daughter to two wonderful and loving parents. But underneath it all is the description that the world sees: I AM A FAT PERSON!! This is the description that I want to change the most. I am tired of being the “fat girl”. I want to lose the baby weight and the junk food weight that I am still carrying around. I am a loving person who enjoys music, movies, reading, playing computer games (World of Warcraft addict here) and just watching tv. I have one older sister and one older brother. I have 4 nieces and 2 nephews and a pretty cool brother-in-law even when he’s annoying.
There is very few things about my life that I would change. But my weight is the main thing. My weight was normal from the time I was born up until I moved to Alaska in 1994 from Denver. I was 10 at the time and weighed 100 lbs (perfectly normal, or so I was told). The first year I lived here, I gained 20 lbs because it was cold, dark, and there wasn’t anything to do. My weight crept up through what was left of elementary, middle, and high school. When I graduated in 2002, I weight about 180-185. When I got together with my now ex-husband in 2004, I weighed 209. We found out in May 2005 that I was pregnant. During that pregnancy, I gained 40 lbs because I ate whatever I wanted and used the “I’m pregnant and can eat anything” excuse. The end result was that the day my oldest daughter was born (1/12/06), I weighed 247. I got married the following year and my weight went down to 237 and then went back up to almost 260. My ex-husband and I separated in March 2010 and finalized our divorce in June 2011. Over the course of the next year, I lost about 30 lbs. I found out in March 2011 that I was pregnant again (by an ex-boyfriend) and I weighed 231 at that point. Over the course of that pregnancy, my weigh went down to 224 and then slowly, I started gaining weight again. The day I delivered my youngest (Alaina), I weighed 247. she was born on November 10, 2011 and at my 2 week post op check up (it was a repeat C-section), I weighed 224. On December 28, I went in for my 6 week post-partum appointment and to get my IUD put in, I weighed 219. I’m tired of being the fat mom especially since I have three children and a husband to keep up with. I need to shed the excess body weight and get comfortable in my own skin again. It’s been a long time since I was comfortable enough around other people and situations.

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