The Journey
I am going to post some pics that represent my journey. I am struggling greatly with visualizing and feeling how 190 would be. I dont believe deep down that I can get there. I WANT to weigh 190.I have no idea how to get myself to DO what is necessary. I block myself all the time lately.
Me at 15. Weight 160lbs. Size 13 bottoms, Med/Lrge top. Other kids and Mom always called me fat etc. The beginning of the downward spiral. I was beautiful and not fat.
Me and my Sis 1988 ( age 23) weight 170-180, size 16. I was happy and loved my body and even tho others ran me down and called me fat I was confident.
Me and my Sis 2008 , 20 years later. At my heaviest ever about 245.
Christmas as well.
Around 1990, weight 170, size 13/14. This is the time frame where I worked out almost daily, lived off of lettuce and chicken breasts. I found it stressful.
This is the happiest time in my life. Age 30. (n a new relationship with DH, i owned a very successful business, had lots of great stuff going on in my life.
This pic is with a friend’s newborn. Weight 190. Size 16/18.
Me and DH 1997, a few month before DS was conceived. Back when he used to smile and laugh. weight 190.
2 years ago. weight 228-230. Size 20, top 3X.
A year after starting 3FC and losing 15-18 lbs. 4 years ago. weight 220, still a size 20, top 2X.
The pic from this week at our make over event. Taken by a pro photographer.
This a pic taken 13 years ago by a pro photographer while I MCing at a dear friends wedding. This was also my first real “date” in a committed relationship with DH. He was sweet attentive. Held my hand, bought me drinks, We danced….. We had been seeing other for a year before this but more casually. We moved in together 3 months after this.
This pic from this week reminded me so much on this pic. The journey from then to now. A little heartbreaking in parts.
And these are the group pics that caused me to weep. I do not think I am unattractive at all. It is the size and width of my body. It really seemed to hit home.
These two women are my fabulous new friends and part of my biz course group. This pic was taken just for fun. Love them!!
The Make over team.
Current weight 239.
Cant help but see that a lightness of spirit equates a lightness of body for me. Maybe facing the glaring reality will help.
HUGS, my friends!!
Holly … you are simply gorgeous in EACH and every one of these pictures, regardless of your weight!
I love your hair in the makeover pic! And the sister pic - that is sooo cute!
I agree with Kelly, H…YOU ARE beautiful. You really are no matter what you think you look like!
You ARE beautiful, but I can definitely see the pain in your eyes in the most recent pics. :: hugs ::
I was thinking the exact same thing as Kelly–what a beautiful woman you are in each of your pics. Wow! … Each day brings us closer to our (or someone who’s greater) ultimate plan. We’re definitely not alone in our battles. I guess I’d like to believe there is peace in the end.
Isn’t that ultimately what we’re trying to get to–peace within ourselves about ourselves? :p
You are really BEAUTIFUL inside and out - remember that!!!
You are beautiful. Love the pic from the 80’s with your sister