Hollyhock

I have been writing when  have time but not here yet. Moving it here now.

Wednesday

I just took a 1 hour nap. Listened to Jen Anniston on Ellen, with my eyes closed.
I have 18 spindles to paint a 2 nd coat on. The stair dude comes in the morning to install the railings.
DH is nailing down some floors bits he had to install and then give the stairs a light sand.

The stairs are not stained yet but we are waiting to pick our flooring first. Going on Sat to see some real solid oak flooring. DH has his heart set on it.

YES!!!!!!! ALL 72 spindles have 1 coat primer and 2 coats of paint. This has been my anti procrastination victory( been saying i was going to do them since May).

It is getting chilly here. Going down into single digits tonight.It feels crisp and fresh.

Snack time for the wee folks.

I haven’t had to holler at anyone tonight at all. …yet. sorta joking…last night i blew my stack.

Thursday

Oh my…The stair dude called and said he couldn’t make it, then he called and said he would but later; DD has a cough and snuffle- there are all these new rules becuase of H1N1, I cant send her to school, she gets chronic colds and croup all winter, she is always sick most of the winter, do I keep her home til May? I work from 1-8. I dont know if the sitter will take her. Our meet the teacher and book fair is tonight. She volunteers at it. DS has hockey. DH was leaving work early to pick up DS from the school and DD was going to stay with the sitter til 7:30pm.
I have no idea what to do.
I am supposed to do my course conference call at 9am.

10:43 and all my pressing calls and commitments are completed ( so far, there is more for later). I scarfed a cold left over wiener for breaky. lol
DD is quite snuffly and coughing. *sigh*

Now what?

Just made the kidlet a grilled cheese.
I blanched and sliced a basket of peaches for later. Hand washed dishes.

I have clients booked from 3pm-8pm. Still dont have anywhere to take DD for 2 hours until Dh can scoop her up.
I could take her to work , i suppose. She would have to sit on a chair in the waiting room til after 8pm tho. Dh is taking DS to hockey at 5:15 and they wont be done til 7:30.

Stair dude is putting spindles in . They cut the 2nd hand rail wrong. have to wait til Mon for that. booooooooooo

DD is going to the sitter and walk to the school with the sitter for Meet the Teacher and then Dh will pick her up with DS at 5:15. It starts a 5.

Our public health unit has mandated that if a child so much as sneezes or coughs at school they are to be sent home. They are basing their proactive approach on what ever went on in Australia and the Southern States, to avoid the H1N1 health crisis in those places happening here. Out school is following it strictly. I just found out that other schools are not. sigh
And…..where do you think DD picked up this bug in the first place? She gets a cold every year in the 2nd week of school. hmmmmmmm

Thurs evening

Briefly checking in. My tale for the evening……makes ya just shake your head.

So, I take DD to the sitter at 3. They go to the school at 4:30. DH was supposed ot be there at 5:15 to pick up DS originally but was also going to take DD since she was sick.
DH went to the school, found DS and left. An hour later DD was there wandering around the school looking for her brother, then she finds the sitter. No one knew where DS was or that he had left. DH did not speak to our sitter/friend to let her know he was there and taking Ds….. The sitter would have explained to him about taking DD because she was sick.
Dh is being defensive when I asked about it because any dummy would know he picked up DS and that he followed the original plan.
(he does not have a cell phone but if he managed ot speak to another human being he would have known there was a change of plans)

One day last week he picked up the kids. The sitter was out the back door tying the dog to the leash. He came to the front door, called the kids to come and left. She came into the house and my kids were missing. She panicked but then her own kids told DH and been and went.

I tried to sleep but i am back up. Read til my eyes were heavy but my wee little brain is spinning.
I am already feeling like i need to advocate constantly for DS ay school.

My DS10( 11 in Nov) is feeling troubled. I will say that he has matured some and in the past liked to push the issue to get the reactions. he is consciously trying to avoid conflict etc and still gets centred out. Yesterday and today there was a group of boys in a physical conflict. In one DS was just standing there and got shoved.A staff walked in and saw him go flying and knock something down and he got disciplined. Today playing tag he got shoved, feel over another kids, thee other kid screamed at him and punched him, DS put him in a headlock to get him to stop, DS got sent to the office.
I called the school to clear up the issue from yesterday and the principal spoke t the whole class about appropriate behaviour at lunch time etc.
Tonight at bedtime, DS asked me Why am I so unlucky, why do the teachers all hate me, how can I get through til the end of the year like this…..it is the 2 nd week of school.

Friday

TGIF, i suppose. I still work tomorrow. Need to conjure some fabulous lunches and get myself ready.

I was asked why I bother being on our School Parent council-I am trying to make a positive impact within a system I dont really like or agree with but my kids are there, they want to be there…….I want  a say in their well being and also “know” what the popel in authority are all about.

I am home briefly. I had to get DD from school because she is coughing and then drive around town trying to find someone home to keep her. I had to postpone a client. I tried to call a few from work. There are 9 of 27 kids home sick today in her class. I could have taken her to work with me but this is better.

Back to my regular program…….

Making a beef broccoli stir fry….yum!

The concern about DH’s antics last night, beside being soooo annoying, was safety. He removed a child who was in the care of an adult( our sitter) from a public building with 200+ people roaming about and did not let anyone know he did so. He also did not look for, find or acknowledge his other child who was left behind. Can you imagine how she felt?

He did know that the kids were there with the sitter.Originally he was supposed to pick just DS and DD was going to stay but she became sick. If he had spoken to the sitter he would have known about the change. He does not have a cell phone and does not want one and he was on a job site in the middle of a farm field 45 min from here.

He actually mentioned it tonight and said it could have been avoided if he had spoken to the sitter.

The sitter and i have both coached my 8 and 10 year old kids to be the responsible party when in their father’s care and tell him he needs to let her know when he removes them from her care.

Saturday

I take oil of oregano and we all take vitamin C and a multi to fight off colds. My kids wont swallow pills and the oil is too hot for them in a liquid. Some days I burp greek salad all day( not complaining). I will get them the elderberry syrup.
The oil of oregano really does work.

DD, DS and DH are all sick. DD is a bit better. DH is full on , Ds is on day 2 and not too bad.
I have dipped my body in a vat of oil of oregano and am mainlining Vitamin C. I am congested but plan on skipping the rest of the symptoms.

Work til 1. Leaving early so we can all go out and shop for flooring this aft.

well, i have stimulated our lagging economy and purchased 800 sq ft of floor.
We had to go with an engineered floor because part of our sub floor is concrete and moisture from concrete will buckle hardwood. ( this is what I wanted anyhow)
We got a light-ish warm tone bevelled edge oak. Very pleased.

I avoided crisis cleaning and feeding several people for DD’s birthday next weekend!!! Go ME!!! Taking a few kids bowling and invited the grands to meet us there for cake. I rock!
DD’s 9th Birthday is on Tuesday. The girl across the road’s is 2 days later. Her dad and I are having their party together next Sunday and splitting the cost. Again, go me!

Home made burgers , salad ingested. m

DS is driving my batty…..cling on, babbling………he sure does love me.
I keep trying to nap to no avail. I do want to look in Sears for flannel sheets for us and DD. DS has 2 sets. My bed is a hand me down king from my parents and it came with some sheets. They must be 15 years old now. They have holes. DD has our old double bed and she has my old flannel sheets that are at least 20 years old and full of holes. They dont owe me anything.

DD is sleeping over across the street. Just took her stuff over and DS stayed there to play on the trampoline.

Our Rally Sunday is tomorrow for Sunday School. DS gets an award for 8 years and high attendance.

I am a bit headachey. Have not gotten much rest this eve even tho I said i would.

Just watched Moving Up. Finally a new season of a decorating show on TLC. I miss clean sweep too.

I am excited about the floor. These carpets are gross and odds colours, different in each rooms. The carpets we took out upstairs were original 60’s shag.

We had major frost last night i had to scrape off the car this morning. Went down to 5C/41F. Going down to the same tonight. warm and sunny this aft.

Sunday

I am up, enjoying coffee, we leave for church in 45 min. I suppose I will wear clothes instead of my flannel nighty.
I am not getting any dishes done before I go. I can barely see straight.

Okay, I did get dressed; black tunic top( with a little sparkle in the thread) and caramel pants. Very dignified. Not a enjoyable as flannel.

church was nice. 3 baptisms and our awards Sunday. Very busy. Nice ot be with others there.
DS struggled. With his anxiety, getting up and receiving an award is very painful for him. He changed his clothes 3 times( all he ever wears is jeans and a t shirt). It was a looooong morning that way.

I have been for groceries, lunch stuff mostly.

Think I will roast a little chicken for supper. DS has hockey at 4:30. Chicken will be ready when we get back.

DD’s birthday party for next Sunday has come together nicely.

I should do something……
Sure dont feel like it.

I might un and re load the DW and wash some hand dishes. Since i am not is physical feet crisis it seems DH wont keep helping I have left the hand wash dishes for 4 days. It’s getting gross.
I have however, dont his laundry, got his specific groceries for work, clean the toilets, tub…..cooked him several meals….ya know same old , same old.
Not really complaining, more noticing. I liked it a lot when he helped.

I will put a chicken in the oven and i will take DS to hockey.

DH is splitting wood. We have 8 face cord. he thinks we need to 2 more.

When I do necessary household tasks I usually stop what I am doing 10-20 times to care for my kids. He has been splitting wood off and on for hours and has not cared for a child in any way. There is a big difference. His excuse for not helping in the house/kitchen is because he is working at this task and also works away from home. Um…me too. I do wonder what he tells himself to make this be okay within himself. Okay, just talking out loud. I am not really looking for answers. I have gone thru this over and over.
Thing are in a good place between DH and myself currently. I am thankful for that.

Ds is having a VERY hard day. He is really crashing emotionally. The anxiety of being back in school. Managing the conflicts he was in at school( with great skill, I might add and high praise from our principal, but conflicts none the less), He is sick with this cold, he has been asking for weeks for a bow and arrow and we went and got one after church, DH tried it and snapped the bow, DS completely broke down, DH went and got another, now DS is having anxiety about breaking this one because he loves it so much does not think he can handle the disappointment, he has been crying or arguing for hours. He was having bad feeling about hockey practise because his legs are weak with this cold but does not want to let his team down…..I called the coach and said DS was sick and wont be there.

I am ready to cry. I am tired, my feet hurt….lol

Deep breath and back at er. Chicken is in the oven. At the very least we will eat supper.

I am officially procrastinating and eating hummus and crackers.

DD’s Bday got a bit bigger but it’s okay. There are 10 birthday party kids between the 2 birthday girls. I invited 3 older siblings the same age as DS so they could all bowl together. That also means car rides for others because these parents will come and stay. We live 45 min from the bowling alley.

Our trees are turning here. Pretty.

*sigh*

I know this may not seem big but it is more of the same old , same old.
I have also been realizing just how much I miss my Grandma and have really been mildly depressed since she died. I try hard to keep my spirits up.

Anyhow this is the email I sent to my parents to invite them to DDs’ birthday.

HI There,
Since DD’s Birthday falls on Tuesday and week days are very busy-

We are having a Birthday Party for DD and for her friend (from across the road) on Sunday September 27 at 12pm - 2:15 pm at “bowling alley” on “address”
We hope you can join us. The kids will bowl from 12:15-1:15 and then we have a party room for their lunch and cake. After ,some of the kids will be rock wall climbing.
If you wanted to have lunch you can get something from Dairy Queen on site there and eat in DQ or in the party room with all of us.
Or you can just join us there for cake and festivities.

Please RSVP.

Dsis- would Dnephew want to come and bowl and Rock wall climb with DS? My treat.
Love,  me
My Mom’s reply

Hi,
Hope you are enjoying this wonderful day.
We were wondering if we could come over on Tues . after school or when ever DD gets home to wish her a Happy Birthday and bring you know what. Just a visit . No food involved. It is also be a good time to see your house.
Dad and I are pretty sure we won’t be rock climbing.
Let me know about Tues.,
Thanks MOM!!!!!!!!!!!

My reply

Just clarifying, you are not coming to “bowling alley” for DD’s Birthday party and having cake with us all?

We are pretty busy Tuesday. After school the kids have homework, chores, supper, DD has Guides at 6:30.DS might have hockey. Still waiting for the schedule. Our stairs are not finished and the workers may be here that day.

I can let you know when I know. We could fit in a visit between 4:30 and 5 if DS doesn’t have hockey.

She does not listen, she does not want to be at a Bday party for the kids, she is passive aggressive and is also very self centred and does not want anyone to share the limelight of her gift….

This is when she usually flies off the handle with a 44 year long list of all the ways I ruin everything for her and every family gathering blah, blah, blah….

Okay, thanks for letting me vent.

OH! I need to check the Guides site for uniform stuff.

Oh and the kicker, I cant seem to let go of…..

I sent a email the day I found out about my arthritis, to my parents and sis.
2 weeks went by, never heard from my parents. Labour Day we went to visit.

She opens the door and says to me I have been worried about you. ( I think wow, kind)…then… oh? are those the shoes you have to wear. I am sorry about that.Then she says….If it were me with arthritis I would just want to die. my life would be over. How can you stand to live with this? Your life will never be the same.You will have no quality. You wont be able to enjoy your kids……

I was completely in pain and crisis at the time. barely coping.
Later that night in a drunken rage she went off on me about what a horrible person I am and terrible daughter blah, blah, blah…..

Still venting……..

So, i am managing my pian mostly with out pharaceuticals. The chiro helps me  alots. Taking a homeopathis remedy as well. The shoes are a life saver.

I have a good week food wise and have been able to move more.