Hollyhock

Sigh and  shrug…..

My kids argued all morning with much volume and tears and accusations of …..nothing. I believe a look or implied body language started it. Right now they are both grounded from TV and got on the bus in tears. SIGH.

My taxes are done.
I am home today til 12:30.

Think I will go do some digging to release some of my frustration with my kids.

Yesterday- Had a busy, quick moving day at work.Came home and did some paperwork niggles.DH took off my snow tires….hoping Murphy doesn’t send a blizzard.
Kids did homework. Made burritos for supper. Table  cleared and DW run. will wash up pots and pans later. DHturned over the veggies garden. Apparently he will drywall on Sat and Sun. I have laundry to do and will paint spindles.

Need to put a ham in the slow cooker later.

Hugs!!

Today i am thankful
- some financial burden has been lifted
-DH has a safe vehicle to drive
-Ds has healed well for his illness
-DS and i had a sweet morning together
-DD is joyful
-I am able to and I enjoy painting
-my floor is clean
-I am going to paint my front door a happy colour
-good music, Jason Miraz!!!!!
-FRIENDS!!!

Ds did have his infection looked at. It has been 13 days. He has 1 more day of oral antibiotics. There is still some swelling at the site but the redness is gone, as is the infection on his arm and chest. We still need to watch in case it comes back….and it easily could apparently.
He and i had as lovely morning. he came to work with me. I did a couple of cuts and then closed up and took him to the doc and them got takeout poutine and root beers and had lunch. just dropped him back at school. It was darn good poutine. mmmmmmm( just has a couple of bites)

I am going to sand and then paint some spindles and then go to the Peace garden planning meeting at 2:30. I am also going to volunteer Dh to help build a little bridge(with out kids and other families).

My lower back is very tender. I felt great yesterday after gardening and mopping and did some yoga last night. This morning. OW!

Hugs!!

I am dirty and sweating!!!!!!  Yard work rules!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weighed myself. still the smae. No gain or loss all month.

Soooooo much to do today. I think DH is drywalling the ceiling. Not mudding or sanding yet.

Wondering if I should buy the Shark Steam Mop. It is on sale and 1/2 the price of the Bissell. I know a few people who have them and LOVE them. I have a LOT of floor to mop. I googled it and the only complaint is the handle is flimsy.

I am home tomorrow alone .

To Do
- kitchen
-laundry
-groceries
-paint spindles,risers and stringers

Took a bath. Feel wonky. I know it is allergies. Been having trouble getting a full breath. booooo…….and I feel a bit run down in general. Have not been sleeping well.
DD does want to go to church so we will go. DS does not.

I had forgotten that DS has a major project due tomorrow. He worked on it for hours in school and then deleted everything because it was not good enough and then did the same thing here Wed eve. Gotta love anxiety. This will take most of the day and usually lots of tears.

Both guys need hair cuts too.

All i wanna do is go back to bed and read.

Halloooooo!

We just had our first major thunderstorm of the season. Looked like hail cause the sky got all green but just heavy rain.

Our sitter/friend brought the boys here and took the girls with her The old switcherooo. The girls have been here since supper last night. Made ribs, taters and caesar salad for supper. It was a PD day for the kids.Took DS back to the sitter’s house for the night and brought her DD home here.
Work was good. Did a client at the centre on my way home.I was recommended to do hair at a locked treatment facility. I went yesterday for a meeting today signed my life away and have a 3 year contract. It will feel good to help these people.This is a adult home for people with mental illness or severe disabilities but on the higher end of the scale. Confidentiality and certain skill is needed. I did this as a biz in the city for 5 years before I had kids but it was with children and also in palliative care facilities. The manager of this facility knows me from church.The man in charge of this home interviewed me today.
I dont know how often they will need me.

Going to make spaghetti for supper.After supper I am watching 2 girls for a friend and DS is going to a friends. Both kids have projects to work on tomorrow.

I have painting to do and tons of housework and dishes.

DH has my old GMC van running and will take it to the shop for some fixin up and a emissions test then we can plate it and take his last 2 “wrecks”( been sitting in the side yard) to the salvage yard.Yeah!!

Today DH tore down the ceiling in the diningroom which had been dropped 8 inches for no apparent reason. So now he has the strapping in place for the new drywall which will now be flush with the ceiling on the opther side of the stairwell.

Okay, gotta dish up supper.

I am home til 12:30 today. Launched the kids this morning. As soon as they were on the bus I cried really hard, it was instantaneous and unexpected but over now.LOL

I have been listening to the radio, painting spindles, doing some dishes. I need to take a bath soon.

I planned my supper and will cut up some veggies. Might be able to walk at work today.

I have been trying to decide since about 2am last night when I was wide awake where to write this  or just to put it in a private journal. There is something about saying it out loud.This isn’t so much about support anymore. Just more about needing a friend to talk to.
Yesterday was one of those life changing monumental days…or the days leading up to it and the day itself.
We laid my dear friend to rest yesterday. I feel so heartbroken- for the loss of his life, for his dear wife and step sons, for all of us,his friends…for catching up with so many  old dear friends and sharing the stories of our lives for the last 10-15 years……for the guy whose wife died of cancer last year and is raising his 5 year old son alone, for my friend whose wife cheated on him and moved hundreds of miles away with his beloved children,his heart breaks every day because he misses them every minute, for my beautiful 40 year old friend who has never been in love and does not understand why, for my other dear gal friend whose has been a a good relationship for 20 years and could not have children and is now a pre school teacher, for so many failed marriages and lonliness, for my friend who died who found love late in life and was diagnosed with cancer a year later and fought the battle for 5 years, for his wife who treasured him beyond words and he her. For the kindness of others towards me in my grief and in sharing about how much they admired me as a mom and wife and sharing their memories of days gone by and so many good times. My heart breaks the most for my DH, who has had so much pain and hurt and heartache in his life that he can not or will not truly love….my heart breaks for the love we shared in the beginning and the beauty it held and all the possibilities…so many unfulfilled possibilities.
In the same breath I am soooo thankful for my dear children and DS’s recovery and want to hold them even closer and more dear, that I can see my DH though eyes of compassion and not hurt and regret, I am thankful for the drive down the highway yesterday alone, i am thankful I went early and stayed late, I am thankful for hugging friends and being  held by them, i am thankful for my home and the choices i have made to live where we do and as we do, there is jut so much to be thankful for.
There were things said to me yesterday by people I adore that touched my heart so deeply.I am still sorting it all out and remembering and cherishing it.

I worked earlier today. I was a little fragile but okay. I am home now for a hour or so alone and that feels good too. Salad and lasagne for supper. Homework with the kids. Idol is on later….ya know regular life stuff. Oh, and lots of spindles to paint for the stairs.*grins*

Every day is a gift.

Thank you sooooooo much for thinking of me yesterday. What a sweet surprise.

The Interment service was beautiful. The weather was perferct. 21C, light breeze, robins flitting about. We walked about 10 min to the gravesite. The piper ( my friend)  came over a hill and out of the trees playing. No one but me and my dad knew he was coming. it was brilliant and touching. He played a lament. The minister gave a perfect service and the piper played Amazing Grace . My kids went up to the grave and laid pink roses and then every else followed.The piper turned and walked away playing into the distance and the minister finished the service with a prayer.

Somehow the aunt circus did not occur ( wondering if my dad stepped in). Just my immediate family and first cousins were there. It was just right.

My kids and I went to Grandma’s house one last time on Friday to say goodbye. It is sold.

Then things got intense. DS has been quite ill. It started on Friday.  I was in the ER with DS til 3am  ( 5 hours total). He had had a tender red spot on his knuckle that turned into an awful raging infection with a red line going up into his armpit in a few hours. He has a staph infection. He has had IV antibiotics and has to go back to the ER every 12 hours( and now every 24) for IV antibiotics until the infection is gone. What a little trooper. he was terrified. He came to Grandma’s Interment with us yesterday and DH had him back to the hospital. I will take him today.

Today has been a sad day but a normal sad.I am coping well. My dear friend and one time love( circa 1987) died today after a long, valiant battle with cancer. Sending hugs and prayers to his dear wife and all his family.
A hair client, age 69, moved to a nursing home a few weeks back. Her husband was found deceased this morning in their home. He was so very sad about living without her. Moped about town. He was a kind and devoted husband during the time I knew them but i heard stories about their younger years. He was a big drinker and scrapper. It was very tender to see his adoration of her now. She loved him very much and persevered through many rough years.
(((holding Dave and his family in my heart)))
(((prayers and peace to Lorna and she mourns Bob)))

Today, I rubbed my forehead and zings of pain shot through my head. I have been stuffy but not sick but I do think I have a sinus infection. Promising myself that I will use my Neti pot twice a day.

I went for a short walk today between clients. Promising myself to do that every day , as well.

Also promising myself to start priming some on the wood for spindles and stairs tomorrow morning.

I am doing much better at sucking it up and doing the dishes every day and tidying( with the kids help).

Baby steps.

My Grandma’s interment is on Saturday. Lots feeling roaming around about this.Just gonna wait til I get there and what will be will be.
I am hosting a makeover day at the shop that day from 2-6.
A good excuse to miss the lunch/circus the aunt is performing at. *grins* ( humour helps)

Love you fabulous women!!

It was hailing this morning. still cold and drizzly.

I worked this morning and then had a meeting at the school to have DD assessed for math levels. she just cant retain any of it. Wrote a letter to have DS stay with this same teacher next year as it is 5/6 split( he is in 5 now) and she is brilliant with him. The next choice is far from brilliant and already has “opinions” about my DS.

My weight was down 2, so back to where i was a couple of weeks ago. Now I need to LOSE more.

Watched Oprah today while i tidied and cried while the singers were performing.Looking forward  Idol and DWTS tonight.

I have done 2 sinks full of dishes and have 1 load in washer.

I need to scrub down my Grandma’s kitchen table that BIL brought to me yesterday.

I got this valance for Dd for Easter.

http://www.sears.ca/gp/product/B001X0ARFO/188-5637813-9355866?ie=UTF8&searsBrand=core

Hoping my Mom will get the quilt for her Bday. Otherwise i will try to save up.

http://www.sears.ca/gp/product/B001X067BC/ref=dp_collection-list_2/191-9823488-1331255?ie=UTF8&collectionASIN=B001X0BLCC&searsBrand=core

Still getting my head around priming and painting all the spindles and the stringers and risers and staining the treads and painting the trim in the bathroom and my bedroom and then priming and painting the dining room onc ethe new drywall is done.

I enjoy painting very much. Need to time to do it.

These are a couple of Easter pics.

DD’s new dress but a bit of a saucy face.