You Can Call Me Madcat!

I’ve had a wicked head cold for the last couple of days and it is funny the residual stupid effects I am noticing. My eating plan has gone out the window. I’ve stopped counting points and I’m really not watching what I am eating. Funny, but you would think that since I can’t actually smell or taste anything that eating would be the last thing I would want to do, but it’s as if I almost need to eat more to get the same sensory pleasure I get when I’m not feeling lousy.

And the lack of solid sleep is further breaking down my defenses. I don’t want to beat myself up over this so I’m just going to accept that this is what I am doing and stop. Just stop.

There now.

It’s Wednesday and that’s weight in day. The magic number this week was 178, which, you may notice was also the magic number from last week. But I’m actually somewhat pleased with this number since I did see 180 on the scale earlier this week in a NON official weigh-in.

The holiday food has started to flow freely around the office and I’m trying to walk away. I’m OK without the chocolates but someone brought on more chocolate covered pretzels and some kettle corn and that was just evil. I am a sucker for the crunchy/ salty/ sweet combo. Sweet I can avoid; in fact, I seem to have lost my taste for just chocolate and, luckily, I haven’t seen any cookies yet. That will be a test. I will count the points of things I eat and try to at least maintain this weight until this season is over.

I’m slowly getting Christmas stuff done. I am doing lunch with my family this Sunday and then I have another big celebration with friends next week. - still have gifts to buy for each of those. And one or two things for The Boy as well. Tomorrow we are going out for a department lunch and I hear that the food will be a buffet. My plan is to have salad, avoid anything fried or dripping with sauce, and have the protein that is closest to its original state that I can find (salmon, maybe some grilled chicken). My magic word will be moderation and I’ll get a workout in before work tomorrow. I call it “Paying for Lunch in Advance”.

Later Chicks. That’s it for now.

Happy Wednesday all. So, I stumble out of bed this morning for my official weigh-in, and look down and see — 184! Somehow I have gained 6 lbs since last Wednesday?? WTF??? Then I hear the sound of a meow and realize that one of the cats is standing with her front paws on the back of the scale. Half the cat and I weigh 184. After a surgical cat extraction, my weight was 178. Down two pounds from last week. 12 lbs down and somewhere in the neighbourhood of 38 to go. I haven’t set a final goal other than knowing I want to be around 140 in the long run.

Why does the sound of being in the 170s sound so much better than being in the 180s? It’s irrational but it does. The only bad thing is that my WW points have recalculated now that I am at a lower weight. Why did they drop by 2 points? Shouldn’t it just have been 1 point?

The next few weeks will be a fun ride since we are heading into the heart of the holiday season. My plan (because I have to have a plan) is to be prepared for the events I know are coming, and really watch what I eat when I can. I want to enjoy the season, but I know there is a price to be paid for that. Part of that price is gym time - but I would do that anyway. I’m starting to add weights back into the mix too, though the gym is full of WeightRats so I’m doing weights at home.

Saturday afternoon we are going to a Handel concert and then out for dinner. I’ve already scanned the menu for the restaurant and I know what I’ll have. Yes, it will be a lot of points, but that’s what flex points are for!

I can’t believe Christmas is only two weeks away and I really am not prepared for any of it. LOL I still have gifts to buy and cards to write. At least the house is decorated (if you count one string of garland and balls, and two glass jars with more balls as decorations).

Frankly, I am really just looking forward to the time off. I’m tired.

Feeling better today than I was yesterday. I think my time sense had been all screwed up by doing that blood pressure test on Monday night and having the stupid thing wake me up every half hour. What a princess with the pea I am, sometimes.

Anyway I was all out of sorts yesterday, and when I am out of sorts I find odd things start to happen. Is it maybe a negative chaos zone that forms over my head on days like this? I dunno, but here is a story to illustrate.

I have this really fabulous water bottle. This is it.

I have to highly recommend this bottle. It is sturdy and pretty-coloured and a really good size. It fit perfectly in my gym bag. In fact, I liked it so much that I should have bought two: one for the gym bag; and one for the desk at work.

What I would NOT recommend, however, is attempting to fill it with hot water when you are cold and looking for a warm drink. Hot water (and I mean boiling hot) made it quiver and then shrivel up like the witch in the climatic confrontation scene in Wizard of Oz.

RIP Water Bottle. It was good to know you.

Went to a very long meeting today about this FrankenProject I am working on at work. We managed to put some electrodes against its temples and it seems as if it has a second life. Let’s see how that works, shall we? They brought in lunch (sandwiches from a local place) but I just had half of one since they were on thick bread and were turkey with mayo. I don’t understand mayo. It’s really just a food lubricant. Not one of my vices.

I’m really tired today for some reason, but since it’s Wednesday, I’m here to post.

Weigh-in day brought no joy at 180. Again. Still. Third week in a row. And really I have no one to blame since I know exactly why this has happened. All I can do is just get my nose back to the grindstone and work it the way it should be worked.

My lower back is bugging me today and sitting in this chair typing is not much fun. Not sure if I’ve done something, but it will mean that this will have to be a short one.

Nothing much to report. I should go do something useful. Whatever that is. I really should have a hobby.

Weigh-in day and weight was 180. No loss, but no gain this week. Frankly, I’m relieved because I have not been the poster child for staying on plan. Nothing majorly bad but a bite here or a bite there. A dinner out. A glass of wine. or two.

Time to be nipping that in the bud. Am I being driven by fear? I dunno. It’s been a pretty stressful time at work, but that isn’t really an excuse now, is it? There really should not be any excuses that are good excuses. Heck, I’ve been working at this for 10 weeks and maybe I’m just hitting that first wall. Well, the wall isn’t going to beat me. I know the wall - we are old friends and I have beaten him before.

The weather has turned more wintery and I feel a craving for comfort, but I can’t let food be that comfort. I had something very weird happen yesterday at the gym when I was on the treadmill. I walked 30 minutes and felt good and jogged an extra 15 at the end, but suddenly I found myself thinking about my sister and getting very upset. I think the physical activity of running - and she was a runner - unlocked something. I ended up crying, no sobbing, in the shower. And perversely, I feel better now.

OK, didn’t even intend to write any of that! Whew!

I’m watching “Biggest Loser: Where are They Now?” and it’s nice to see how people have managed to take what they have learned and made it into their real lives. That’s inspirational.

I didn’t get around to posting yesterday. Apparently they have been watching our web use at work so I no longer feel comfortable posting there and then I was out too late last night. Anyway, on with the post.

Weigh-in day and weight was 180. Yay, 5% goal attained! But then it took me about 10 minutes to try to figure out how to set my next goal in WW on-line. It actually wasn’t that hard, I was just being stupid. I’ve set my next goal to be 170 which is another 10 lbs, though 171 will be a total of 10% weight loss. At 176 I slip out of “obese” and into “overweight”. Much rejoicing will then ensue.

I don’t really have much else to post today. Work has just been silly and somewhat stressful, but I’ve been going to the gym and eating fairly well. Funny how after eight or so weeks on plan, I find myself slipping a bit here and there - an Oreo cookie here or a few extra points there. I need to nip that in the bud. It’s usually about this time that the boredom starts to set in and I just have to remind myself that I have an end goal and I have to get there.

I have to say though that one thing that is interesting is that I find myself ordering off the appetizer menu in restaurants or making an effort to eat vegetarian when I go out and that seems to be a good approach. Soup is always a good option too (as long as it isn’t cream based) and luckily I find soup comforting in the fall. It means that I have been eating some very good and different food these days - and that’s never a bad thing.

Happy weigh-in day at weight of 181.

I was somewhat annoyed that that was my weight for the official weigh-in day when I have been seeing 180 since Saturday. Argh! But I have decided that Wednesday is my day and what the scale says on that day is what counts. Probably some water retention from ham eaten yesterday.

Half a pound away from my 1st goal of 5% loss. It was very tempting to cheat, but that’s not the point, is it? Next week will have to be the week.

I had a nice day off today. Attended the Remembrance Day event at City Hall, and then wandered around a bit. I went shopping for lingerie but couldn’t find anything I liked that fit properly. I’m trying to have to go back to the specialty bra place where it always costs me an arm or leg to get a proper fit. Hey I’m a 36F. That’s big. If I’m lucky I can manage a properly cut 36DD, but it depends on the brand. Bra shopping is very stressful, but I was pleased that my jeans look a lot looser in the evil change room mirror, so some changes can be seen.

I ended up just buying a new exercise bra and I’ll try again for the non-exercise variety sometime in the future. I really NEED the new exercise bra. And it will serve a purpose.

Had lunch with the DH at a restaurant by the lake and it was lovely. I had butternut squash soup and a really delicious wild mushroom salad. OK, let’s not discuss the half litre of wine. Dinner will probably be something very small if I even feel like anything at all.

Wednesday again and that means it is time to post. Weigh in today was 182 (again) so no loss this week, but also no gain. Since I could be retaining water I’ll take it, refocus and do better next week. I’m 1.5 lbs away from 5% body weight loss. It seems to be taking forever.

Refocusing will get me there.

Some good stuff happened this week. Workouts were good. I did one half hour treadmill workout, went for a 5K walk outside on the weekend that was nice, and walked home most days. I’m trying to work more daily movement into my day. I even walked up the 10 flights of stairs on the weekend when I came home at the end of a fire alarm.

On the downside, a storm of politics and silliness has erupted at work and I seem to be caught up in the middle of it. One of the reasons I became a contractor was to avoid this kind of stuff. I don’t want to go into a lot of details, but it has made work a less pleasant place to be. I have to remind myself to breathe and I’m pretty annoyed at what has happened. Life is way too short to work in a job that isn’t interesting and engaging. I don’t expect miracles, but when I get to the point where I don’t want to go to work any more, it is time to seriously consider a job change. I’m updating my resume – which is kind of reassuring to do even if the storm does blow over.

This week’s goal: make sure I drink my water, keep working out and maybe try something new, keep eating and STAY CALM. Remind myself of two mantras: “No one is going to die because of anything that happens at work” and “Billable Hours”. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

I just wanted to write this somewhere because it’s proof of some sort of change, and I can’t be boring total strangers on the street with it.

I’ve been switching up workouts and doing some time on the treadmill at least once a week. Today I did 30 minutes -two minutes jogging at no incline followed by two minutes walking on an incline as repeated intervals. Ok, to say I’m jogging is really an insult to serious joggers or runners - it’s really a fast shuffly joggy-walk - but the point is what I realized today. A few months ago I did this same interval thing and when checking my heartrate at the end of the jog intervals it would be around 150. Now in those intervals my heart rate tops out in the high 130s or low 140s, and comes back down very fast in the walk interval.

I’m not signing up for the New York Marathon anytime soon, but it shows progress. And progress is good.