You Can Call Me Madcat!

Weigh-in day and weight was 180. No loss, but no gain this week. Frankly, I’m relieved because I have not been the poster child for staying on plan. Nothing majorly bad but a bite here or a bite there. A dinner out. A glass of wine. or two.

Time to be nipping that in the bud. Am I being driven by fear? I dunno. It’s been a pretty stressful time at work, but that isn’t really an excuse now, is it? There really should not be any excuses that are good excuses. Heck, I’ve been working at this for 10 weeks and maybe I’m just hitting that first wall. Well, the wall isn’t going to beat me. I know the wall - we are old friends and I have beaten him before.

The weather has turned more wintery and I feel a craving for comfort, but I can’t let food be that comfort. I had something very weird happen yesterday at the gym when I was on the treadmill. I walked 30 minutes and felt good and jogged an extra 15 at the end, but suddenly I found myself thinking about my sister and getting very upset. I think the physical activity of running - and she was a runner - unlocked something. I ended up crying, no sobbing, in the shower. And perversely, I feel better now.

OK, didn’t even intend to write any of that! Whew!

I’m watching “Biggest Loser: Where are They Now?” and it’s nice to see how people have managed to take what they have learned and made it into their real lives. That’s inspirational.

I didn’t get around to posting yesterday. Apparently they have been watching our web use at work so I no longer feel comfortable posting there and then I was out too late last night. Anyway, on with the post.

Weigh-in day and weight was 180. Yay, 5% goal attained! But then it took me about 10 minutes to try to figure out how to set my next goal in WW on-line. It actually wasn’t that hard, I was just being stupid. I’ve set my next goal to be 170 which is another 10 lbs, though 171 will be a total of 10% weight loss. At 176 I slip out of “obese” and into “overweight”. Much rejoicing will then ensue.

I don’t really have much else to post today. Work has just been silly and somewhat stressful, but I’ve been going to the gym and eating fairly well. Funny how after eight or so weeks on plan, I find myself slipping a bit here and there - an Oreo cookie here or a few extra points there. I need to nip that in the bud. It’s usually about this time that the boredom starts to set in and I just have to remind myself that I have an end goal and I have to get there.

I have to say though that one thing that is interesting is that I find myself ordering off the appetizer menu in restaurants or making an effort to eat vegetarian when I go out and that seems to be a good approach. Soup is always a good option too (as long as it isn’t cream based) and luckily I find soup comforting in the fall. It means that I have been eating some very good and different food these days - and that’s never a bad thing.

Happy weigh-in day at weight of 181.

I was somewhat annoyed that that was my weight for the official weigh-in day when I have been seeing 180 since Saturday. Argh! But I have decided that Wednesday is my day and what the scale says on that day is what counts. Probably some water retention from ham eaten yesterday.

Half a pound away from my 1st goal of 5% loss. It was very tempting to cheat, but that’s not the point, is it? Next week will have to be the week.

I had a nice day off today. Attended the Remembrance Day event at City Hall, and then wandered around a bit. I went shopping for lingerie but couldn’t find anything I liked that fit properly. I’m trying to have to go back to the specialty bra place where it always costs me an arm or leg to get a proper fit. Hey I’m a 36F. That’s big. If I’m lucky I can manage a properly cut 36DD, but it depends on the brand. Bra shopping is very stressful, but I was pleased that my jeans look a lot looser in the evil change room mirror, so some changes can be seen.

I ended up just buying a new exercise bra and I’ll try again for the non-exercise variety sometime in the future. I really NEED the new exercise bra. And it will serve a purpose.

Had lunch with the DH at a restaurant by the lake and it was lovely. I had butternut squash soup and a really delicious wild mushroom salad. OK, let’s not discuss the half litre of wine. Dinner will probably be something very small if I even feel like anything at all.

Wednesday again and that means it is time to post. Weigh in today was 182 (again) so no loss this week, but also no gain. Since I could be retaining water I’ll take it, refocus and do better next week. I’m 1.5 lbs away from 5% body weight loss. It seems to be taking forever.

Refocusing will get me there.

Some good stuff happened this week. Workouts were good. I did one half hour treadmill workout, went for a 5K walk outside on the weekend that was nice, and walked home most days. I’m trying to work more daily movement into my day. I even walked up the 10 flights of stairs on the weekend when I came home at the end of a fire alarm.

On the downside, a storm of politics and silliness has erupted at work and I seem to be caught up in the middle of it. One of the reasons I became a contractor was to avoid this kind of stuff. I don’t want to go into a lot of details, but it has made work a less pleasant place to be. I have to remind myself to breathe and I’m pretty annoyed at what has happened. Life is way too short to work in a job that isn’t interesting and engaging. I don’t expect miracles, but when I get to the point where I don’t want to go to work any more, it is time to seriously consider a job change. I’m updating my resume – which is kind of reassuring to do even if the storm does blow over.

This week’s goal: make sure I drink my water, keep working out and maybe try something new, keep eating and STAY CALM. Remind myself of two mantras: “No one is going to die because of anything that happens at work” and “Billable Hours”. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.