Things are going well

1 Feb 2010 In: senseless rambling

But then again, they always do on the first day.

Did Day 1 Level 1 of Jillian’s 30 day shred this morning, then ran 0.5 miles on the treadmill.  Going to spinning in an hour, and have dinner planned.

So I live in a very old apartment building and definitely can’t do the jumping that Jillian asks for at 5:30am without making some very angry neighbors.  I manage to keep my heart rate up, and I think that’s all you really need… I certainly don’t want to lose out on the benefits of the 30ds program, but at the same time, I think I am probably getting enough (better) cardio throughout the day with running and spinning, so I’m not that worried.

Now, if only I found the motivation to clean my apartment.  Or study.  I feel like I can only concentrate on one thing at a time.  Sigh.


31 Jan 2010 In: senseless rambling

The last 2 weeks have been an absolute shitshow.  I got really stressed with exams and school and work and stopped exercising and decided it was a good idea to eat pizza and guacamole and wine every day.  Like seriously – the people at the grocery must have thought I was insane as I bought 4 avocados and a bottle of wine EVERY day.  The worst part was, every night I would feel sick and throw out everything unhealthy and then go out and buy more the next day!  I swear, I must have spent over $500 on groceries in the last two weeks.  All for me.  Unacceptable.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what works for me and what doesn’t.  I don’t think I do well with insane calorie counting; it works for a few days, but then I go crazy and binge.  Obviously.  I like exercise.  I like healthy foods.  So the new plan is to exercise like a madwoman and eat healthfully but not obsess about calories.


The plan, you ask?

Every day: 30 day shred

Weekdays: running at the school gym (0.5 miles this week; increasing by .25 miles per week)

Tuesdays and Thursdays: pilates

Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays: spinning


I also bought a new scale with bioelectrical impedance analysis (body fat %).  Horror of all horrors: 38.5% fat; 176.4lbs.  Waist measurement: 36 inches.

Goal #1: Lose 1% body fat per week (I don’t know if that’s attainable… we shall see)

Goal #2: Weigh 160 by the middle of March, when I am going to a bachelorette party and seeing a bunch of old friends I haven’t seen in years

Goal #3: Absolutely no unplanned trips to the grocery store.

I feel like I make these grand statements every few months, and it’s true… I need to find something that works for me.  I hope this is it.


20 Jan 2010 In: senseless rambling

WHY can’t I remember that bingeing makes me feel disgusting and sick?

I had an exam yesterday, and afterward I just lost control.  I drove to the grocery store in a stupor and wandered around picking up anything and everything I thought I might like to eat.  I got home around 4pm, ate a whole bag of rice chips, had three glasses of wine, had 9 corn tortilla quesadillas, and a 4oz log of goat cheese with crackers.

I ate all this by 5pm.

At 5:15, I threw out the remnants and put on my gym clothes, and made it to spinning at 6.  However, that ginormous quantity of food made me feel so, sooo nauseous that I had a terrible ride.  Then I went home and went to bed.

I know today is a new day, blah blah blah, but I just binged last weekend and felt so sick – how did I forget that disgusting feeling?

Everything’s cool…

19 Jan 2010 In: senseless rambling

…as long as I’m getting thinner. (I LOVE Lily Allen!)

Had a great day yesterday; plan to have a great week this week.  I’d really love to bust through the 170s, but they’re giving me a bit of a hard time.

I have a massive exam this afternoon that I have not prepared for at all (ughhhh) but I have lunch packed and dinner planned and as long as I don’t die in the exam, everything will be fine 🙂  And, hopefully, I can get out early enough to make it to spinning and pilates tonight!

New Day

18 Jan 2010 In: senseless rambling

I think I effectively halted my binge monster yesterday.  I had a great day calorie wise (under 1300) and finally got all the crap from the 3 previous days out of my system (literally).  This morning I saw 174.8 (lowest last week was 174.2, so I’m happy that I didn’t do any real damage!).

Today I plan  to exercise for 3 hours – spinning and pilates this AM, and another spinning class this PM.  It’s a major study day today, so I look forward to the exercise breaks, and with my class schedule I rarely get to attend the morning classes.

Recap of Week of 1/10:

High weight: 177.6

Low weight: 174.2

Exercised 5 days

-Circuit training: 4 days

-Spinning: 3 days

-Pilates: 2 days


-4 days under 1400

-3 days of alcohol/food binge (3000-6000 calories each…eek!)

I’m hungry…

17 Jan 2010 In: senseless rambling

…and I really shouldn’t be.  It’s probably boredom and stress since I’m supposed to be studying all day today, but I legitimately feel hungry.  But I know if I start eating now, it will turn into a giant binge that will encompass the rest of the evening, and I just can’t handle that now (especially after my last 3 days of caloric hell).

Last night was interesting.  I don’t know why I’m writing about it, except that maybe I haven’t talked to any of my friends about it and just want to hash it out somewhere.  A classmate of mine texted me in the afternoon wanting to know if I wanted to grab a drink and take a study break later on.  Of course I did!  Turns out, he picked me up at my apartment, we went to a pretty trendy bar, it was just the two of us, and he paid for my 2 drinks.  I’m probably reading way, wayyy too much into it, but I feel like that was a date.  Hmmm.


I enjoy coming across motivational quotes, especially ones relating to weight loss, and found this:

“Everything you want in the world is right outside your comfort zone.”


17 Jan 2010 In: senseless rambling

I’m back.  I just read some of my posts from a few months ago and am really, really, incredibly pissed at myself for falling off the wagon so damned hard.

So, like every January for the past 15 years, I pledge this year to be different.  I had a rough couple of first weeks but I’m recommitted.  I know that there will be good days and there will be not so good days, but that’s no excuse for making dozens of poor choices in a row.

I’m currently experiencing a giant amount of GI distress based on the last 3 day bingefest, but that’s in the past now.  Except for my recurrent trips to the bathroom that remind me why I need to eat healthfully.

So.  My kitchen is stocked with healthy foods; I have soup cooking in the crock pot; I’m doing this.  For reals.

Starting weight – somewhere around 175 (again, kicking myself because I was 1 freaking 59 in September.  Ugh.

Goal weight – 135, but I’m not in a hurry as I’m making a lifestyle change.

Plan – 1000-1400 calories per day (1400 is BMR); circuit training at home weekday mornings; 4 spinning classes minimum per week and 2 pilates classes minimum per week.

Let’s do this!


21 Oct 2009 In: senseless rambling

Despite my oh-so-inspiring post on October freaking 4th, I have not done a damned thing to change my eating habits.  I need to stop buying wine.  I need to throw away the butter.  I need to go to the gym.  I need to stop eating when I’m not hungry.

Back. For good.

4 Oct 2009 In: senseless rambling

So.  I’ve been very far away from the wagon I fell off of early in September.  I hit 159.0 sometime after Labor Day, and have been bouncing around in the mid 160s ever since.  I think I only exercised 4 times in the entire month, and had some seriously bad eating days.

I’m going to adopt a new strategy.  I’m not going to weigh myself unless I’ve had three excellent days of eating.  And, I’m changing my rewards structure:

Good eating 5x/week: I can have wine with dinner one night

Good eating 6x/week: $100 towards clothing

Exercise 4x/week: tanning

Exercise 5x/week: massage

By “good eating” I’m going to try to stick to 1200 calories on days I don’t exercise, and 1600 on days I do exercise.  I’ve started using tdp again, and, per usual, I’m shocked at how calories add up.  I was at 1677 today and I thought I had a pretty damn good day before I counted everything.  Ugh.

But, in other news, I ran my first 5k yesterday!  I ran nearly the whole thing, except for this KILLER hill in the last mile.  Seriously, it was so bad that a lot of the “better” and faster runners were walking and huffing too.  I finished in 40:40, which is not too far off my projections… I am very slow.  However, I had a REALLY good time and already signed up for another 5k (Run Like Hell where you’re to dress and run in costume for Halloween!)

Also, I HAD to buy new jeans last weekend because my old ones finally ripped a nice hole through the crotch.  I bought AE size 8!  In November, I could barely squeeze into 12s, and I was stuck in 10s for quite some time, and I can kind of tell that the 8s are going to be big soon – they’re pretty baggy if I don’t wear them straight out of the dryer.  It’s really my stomach that’s got me all hot and bothered – I know you can’t spot reduce, but that’s the one part of me that I really, really want to shrink.

I’m going to California again on Friday (surprise for my mom’s 50th) and hate that I haven’t lost a pound since I was there last month.  My parents are just so… invested in my personal weight loss journey that I don’t want them to think I’ve given up.  Truth is, I gave up for most of the month of September, but this week begins the re-focused experience.

Plan: exercise every morning at the rec center this week (running and swimming); eat very well and according to plan; don’t touch the scale.


11 Sep 2009 In: senseless rambling

So, in my swine-flu induced quarantine, I’ve finally gotten around to updating and uploading my photos into Picasa.  I’ve been going through pictures from the last 6-7 years, and am absolutely floored by how overweight I am in some of them.  It’s really sad, because I’ve KNOWN I’ve had to lose weight for 10+, 20+ years, and all these pictures seem to show that I didn’t care.  But I did.  And I do.

In better news, I was back to my low of 159.8 this morning.  With how little I’ve been eating, I *should* be lower tomorrow.  I really, really need a massage and am thinking of getting one when I hit 158 and switching with the tanning since I’m still pretty brown from my trip to Cali last weekend.

I think I can leave my quarantine tomorrow, since my temperature has been somewhat normal today; I’m still feeling pretty weak and dizzy, so I don’t know how much I can exercise, but going for a walk sure sounds nice.