Well as many of you know I started a new job working 3rd shift. With that comes drinking of major pepsi to give me that jolt at work.As we know of my previous experience with pepsi it bloats me making tons of water weight. So I have not stepped on the scale since starting this job and with all the moving and bending you would thinki I would step back on the scale WRONG!!!! I am scared too.
The last 3 days I have been really depressed because I lost my pet rabbit that I had for nine years.I am just not functioning very well. I have slept for 3 days straight due to the depression; hubby is worried.I don’t blame him.
I need some words have wisdom to keep me motivated to stay employed, to lose weight, and just move on from this sad moment in my life.
Hey everybody.I’m checking in and letting you know I am losing my mind.I am totally bloated craving chocolate and wanting to kill.I hate tom and if it doesn’t hurry up and go I’m going to have to find a cornfield and scream at the top of my lungs.Oh how I miss living out in the country so many cornfields so little time back then.I weighed myself and i weighed 304.I can’t seem to get get out of the 300s. The weather has gone back to being crappy so I can’t walk in the rain and i just don’t have the gas to go to a mall do some walking.I need to move so I can buy an elliptical. yeah thats it time to move so I can get exercuise equipment.
hey for the past couple of days I have been nothing but a wreck. Crying spells, losing my temper, and feeling totally hopelessness. I know part of it is because TOM is on its way but the rest of it is i am totally stressed.Living with my brother in law has reached its limit and i can’t stand it.I feel like i am losing my mind and that just stresses me more. all this stress has me in bouts of self indulgence with brownies and then there are times I literally feel sick to my stomach and don’t want nothing. I keep doing my jewelry making to keep my mind occupied but thats not even helping.
One thing i hate about being so big is the rashes that you get in the folds of fat. i broke down about that too. i am sick and tired of being fat and sick and tired of dealing with the stress i deal with everyday. its just to much.
here iam going to confess to yall that i had regained 20lbs of what i lost. I am admitting this now because today i took the step and got back on the scale today. I weighed myself at the doctors last week that how i found out i regained 20lbs. BUT today my venture on the scale told me i have lost 3 lbs of that 20 i gained back. so i am on my mission to lose weight again after falling off the wagon.
so while i am looking for a job i am going to focus on my weight loss journey full fledge.
Here it is the beginning of March and the weather keeps going back and forth. One minute its almost 70 degrees out the next day they are calling for snow. How is anyone supposed to start walking with this mess going on. Yup I am ready to start walking again even though TOM is here right now. I am bloated and crabby and in need of some relief from my body.
I am still not weighing myself because I just don’t think its a good idea and it may depress me. So I continue to try not to eat late at night and stay away from junk and sodas. I want a pepsi so darn bad right now but I am not going to have it.
I just got some really nice beading wire to make some bracelets for my jewelry shop. I hope that some of you are interested. If not thats ok as well.
Since I haven;t been doing so weel with my weight loss lately. I am going to take a break from weighing myself as it seems to be a big disappointment lately. I won’t tell you the exact weight I am at because to tell you the truth its quite embarrassing. I will try to stick to counting my calories and not eating at night but the eating at night is killing me weight wise. I have binged numerous times in the last two weeks due to stress its almost sad.
I am not giving up though just not using the scale for awhile. Cross your fingers for me and hope that I can get this weight off soon.
This week I did not weigh myself I was just not up for the disappointment. I think I need a break from this whole mind set. Don’t get me wrong I am still going to count my calories but I think I am going to take a break from weighing in. It just puts me in a mood for days when I don’t see a loss on that scale. I am also back to eating in the middle of the night. So I need to find a journal so I can write instead of eating. I have some other projects to work on as well. My sister in law gave me some cross stitch patterns to do and I am thinking of taking up one for a bit.
Well Friday I put in two applications at two different aldis. If you don’t know what Aldis is; its grocery store that doesn’t sell name brand stuff. Somethings they have are really good. Any way the 24th I have an interview with Home Depot for cashier during the spring and summer time. I need to do something I am going crazy. I can’t keep eating to comfort myself.
Yeah as the title says it hasn’t been. My eating has been totally off course. I freaking binged last night on 6 pieces of pizza. Yeah you heard me right 6. My calories were shot through the roof and at the point of eating it I just didn’t care. So for the next 3-4 days I will try to compensate for the total mess up this week. I am stressed and I got woke up in the middle of a very good sleep. None the less I went right back to sleep. My anxiety has been really peeked and I have no clue as of why. So I take my anxiety medicine and hope that it calms me enough as far as my thoughts so I don’t get up an eat.
Still not motivated to do any moving and I may not weigh myself this Sunday because of how bad I have been eating.
I weighed myself this morning and there was no gain which is good but there was no loss either not so good. I have managed to not eat in the middle of the night this week so I wonder why there is no loss. I will continue not to eat in the middle of the night this month and hopefully from now on. Maybe there will be a loss next week. I am thinking I might have to start exercising in the morning again to bump up the weight loss area. But where do I start; thats the hard part. I am tired of maintaining I need to lose some more weight.
I am starting a campaign for those of us who don’t want or need water weight weighing us down. This means we have to say no to processed foods and take out thats high in sodium. High Sodium contributes to weight gain. So I say NO TO WATER WEIGHT!!! When you feel bloated even though TOM is not around that water weight. Who wants to join? Come anyone who wants to say no!!!!!