I am depressed, I just do not get it.  I want to lose weight, but I don’t seem to have the energy.  I work all day, come home and run around after a 1 year old, and then I am supposed to exercise. I am exhausted. I want to sleep when I have free time, not work out.  What am I to do?? So far I am down some, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and the medicine does seem to help, but it’s not enough.  I do not have any support, and no one really seems to care, I just feel alone. I know-I’m complaining, and that isn’t going to get the weight off any faster.

It was a gorgeous day after all, but after church we went over to my husbands mom & dad’s house for dinner after church.  It was spaghetti. I love me some spaghetti. My first plate was rather small, I thought ok this is all I am eating. Umm,  wrong. I had another plate twice the size of that one.  What is wrong with me? I love to eat, and I see skinny people eat alot too, why can’t I do that? Tomorrow is a new day right? So I will do better, I have all of my meals planned out and tons of water ready to go.  Ugh, I wish this were easier, it was pretty dern easy to get here, almost 150 lbs overweight. I have got to do better, I WILL DO BETTER!!!!!

I am about to run out the door for church, but I wanted to post and say that I woke up different this morning. I woke up and really really want lose weight, summer is fast approaching and I want to spend as much time in the sun as I can. So today my goal is to eat less and move more still, but to also pray so hard that God will help me through my journey. I need prayers right now, because if I don’t lose this weight, my life is in jeopardy. So happy day to everyone, and I will post more this evening. Everyone have an amazing day!

I know we all say that right? This is the last time I will start a “diet”.  I seriously cannot take it anymore. I gues I will begin by telling a little bit about myself. I am not sure who, or if anyone will read this, but I am putting it all out there.  I am 23 years old and I am 289lbs. Wow. Really??? I am in shock just seeing that HUGE number on the screen. I cannot believe that I let my weight spiral that out of control.  I have been married for almost 4 years to a pretty amazing guy, which makes it hard for me because he says I am beautiful and he wouldn’t change a thing about me.That is really hard for me because sometimes I feel like I really don’t have to impress anyone so why try? We have an awesome son who is 1. I realized today when we were playing outside that I really really cannot keep up with him. I cannot even sit him on my lap as there is too much fat already there. As the tears swell up in my eyes, I know that something has to be done.  I have full time job, and I go to school online, and I also try to be a wifey. It is very hard to find time for just me, I even have a free gym membership through my job so why can’t I ever make the time to go? I have done weight watchers and other diets out there but nothing has worked so far. What to do? I am starting out by eating less and moving more. I have a few or should I say 7 bad habits I need to work through, but my number one addiction is Mt. Dew. I love it, I can’t get enough of it.  But I am going to work on that one, I am first going to limit my intake of pop to one a day (I’m not even saying how many I regularly drink in a day). And then hopefully everything will fall into place.  I really need the support of friends and family, but they are all skinny and have been all their life, so they do not know the struggles that I am faced with every day of my life.  I want to feel pretty, I want to breathe better, and I want to live a long and healthy life, and be able to chase after my kid. So I have to make some changes.  The change starts here.

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