So here’s the deal…

13 Apr 2010 In: Exercise, General

I’ve been really really really really and did I mention really stressing lately about my weight. It’s like, totally taking over. But the sad part is, why the [insert word of choice] am I not doing anything about it?

WHY?

I start my day out with a great mentality… and have been pretty good about this for a week or so now. I tell myself that I’ll eat only healthy stuff… but by the time I get home, it’s all gone out the window. As if it gets sucked out the sunroof on the car ride home.

I’ve been good overall about stopping only occasionally at Caribou in the morning (those things add up in calories and in extra expenses not needed). The past few weeks I’ve been pretty drained in the mornings so it’s been more than usual, but I’ve honestly been trying. My breakfast only consists of a Zone bar (and maybe two if I’m really really hungry, but then no snacks at work mid-morning).

My problem is usually around 4:00, when I start to get hungry again… and then I’ll snack. On anything. It could be a cheese stick, granola bar, candy or something more dangerous. Then, when I get home… I usually binge. What can I do? I’m begging for help.

I wanted to start P90, and not torture myself with P90X (because I just can’t do it). I haven’t started P90 yet. Again, why? I’m home every night around 7ish, feed the animals and eat something myself. If I don’t wait at least an hour, I get sick when working out (unless it’s a walk or something with the pup). So… that puts me at 8ish. Then I work out for 30-60 minutes, feel gross and then have to shower. So my entire night is taken up. No time for anything else. I work longer days and have a moderate commute of an average of 30 minutes. If it has been a generally busy day at work, I’m pretty wiped by the time I get home. I have a pretty active job and would be very interested in knowing how many calories I burn at work. If it’s as many as I think I’ve calculated out before, I should be loosing weight… but I’m not. WHY?

If anyone can tell me what I’m doing wrong… please do. Someone help me out. Please?

Good day… baaaad day

20 Mar 2010 In: General

So first of all, I don’t want to write only when I have bad days. I don’t want a pity-party blog whining about how bad I ate and how unmotivated I am. However, today is one of those days.

This past week I started off writing things down, doing well, and being conscious about what I was eating. Took some walks with the dog (it helped that the weather was so gorgeous) and thought about my weight loss goals. I’ve gone down hill slowly since St. Patrick’s Day. I had cheesecake that night (after a huge burger) and then bought some ice cream last night and cinnamon rolls and pastries this morning.

I feel like I did enough physical work today as I cleaned more of the house (I vacuumed the entire downstairs and part of the upstairs as well as both sets of stairs). And when I vacuum, I do it well. I don’t just settle with a once over, I do it twice. There is so much dog hair in this house I could make at least four other Corgi pups.

My goal initially was to just cut out the crap and eat better… but it is hard when there is so much temptation everywhere you look, ya know? I should have said no to the ice cream last night, and I didn’t need the extra pastries with the cinnamon rolls this morning.

I need a motivational friend and a work-out buddy. I’d like to be able to go for a walk with a friend or share my vents, goals, achievements or frustrations with a real person. I’ve been reading some self-help books and the one I’m current reading has hit some good points, but I’m hoping the next one I start helps a little more. I still need to be proud of myself for what I’ve achieved since last year: I started at a size 10 and I’m currently wearing a size 6. I have a pair of 4’s that still fit, but are tight. The other fours that I once fit into are folded in sight as a motivation, but I just get said when I look at them. I don’t know if a four is a realistic goal for me if it’s so hard to stay there. I just felt so much more confident, pretty and sexy at that size.

Tomorrow is a new day (although it is supposed to start off with an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast for a fundraiser…). I hope for better thoughts tomorrow. I hope for more motivation tomorrow. I hope for positive and realistic goals.

Here’s to tomorrow!!

About me

13 Mar 2010 In: General

I’m a 25 year old who loves to be around animals. That’s really all there is to know about me. I mean, I like other things too, but I’m the most happy when around my pets.

But if you must know, I also like music, photography, reading and cheesecake. Oh, and sparkly things too.

I’m not exactly overweight, but I do have extra ’round some places that I’d like to never see again. I started my initial weight loss journey January of 2009. During that summer, I lost almost 20 pounds. I felt fabulous. I felt gorgeous. I felt healthy.

Once December rolled around… I had gained almost all of it back. It’s now March, and it’s all still here. I really only have to lose about 10 pounds to be back where I was happiest. You’d think it’d be an easier task. I’m ready for summer to be here again so I can break out the running shoes again and hit up the trails. I had never been a runner until last summer. I never thought that I’d like running, but I actually do. I’m no marathon runner, but trotting along at my own pace is nice.

I’m getting married this summer… another reason to be thinner… not that it makes any difference to my fiancĂ©. He’s already asked and has seen me at my heaviest. I can’t lose too much, however, otherwise I’ll be paying more for alterations. The dress fits just about perfect!

Not much else to know about me. If you’d like to know, ask!