I feel like…

April 30th, 2012

my brain is trying to make me give up on this. I’ve just had my dinner, and AF has pretty much gone, and this is the first time in months that I haven’t munched on chocolate during that week or so.

I need to re-programme my brain. But I don’t know the first place to start. I know Paul Mckenna did something along those lines, and I did have a copy of it a long time ago… but I’ve no idea where it’s got to…

On the up side tho, I lost 2.5lbs in 6 days last week, so I guess I’m doing something right. And Wednesday is my pay day. So, gonna go and look at my list and see what i need…

Sorry for being so short, but I figured I needed to post something, but don’t really have anything to say. I just fancy a really good cry with a bar of chocolate!! SEE!! I hate my brain!!!

Oh My goodness

April 24th, 2012

Do I feel like poo today!!  I walked what felt like miles yesterday picking up my Wii. Now auntie flo is late, I’m NOT preggers, mainly because we haven’t been able to do “it”. For some reason I’ve been bleeding quite steadily since last month. This is something that has been happening on and off for about 3 years, yet the doc doesn’t know what’s going on. I’ve had my bloods done, nothing abnormal even with my hormone levels, I’ve also seen a gyno at least twice and each time they haven’t been able to diagnose anything. Also went for an ultra sound just before christmas, to check for pcos and other possibilities… NOTHING!! ZIP!! NADA!!! That’s one of the reasons why I’ve taken this challenge on. I’m hoping that when my weight starts to drop off and as I get healthier, it will all slip back into place… But until then, i’ll just have to keep going.
The annoying thing is, I can feel it coming… *sniggers* but seriously my back is tight, appetite has gone, but forced myself to have brekkie and grilled chops tonight with jacket spuds and phili light and a few veggies… mmmmm…. okay.. now i’m hungry… AAARGH!!
See, i don’t know if i’m coming or going!!! After my dog walk and a little more Wii fit tonight I’ll be having a nice hot bath and maybe a back rub… AGAIN!!

The next week or so is gonna be my toughest so far. But you know what?! F*** IT!!

Whoops….

April 20th, 2012

Just realised I haven’t done a post for a few days.

So just a quick re-cap. I haven’t been naughty. Haven’t even been tempted. Quite proud of myself considering my hormones are going nuts right now.

My shopping arrived yesterday, to my delight. Finally!! Different stuff to eat!! I got grapes, tuna, salad stuff, breakfast bars, rice cakes and that sort of stuff. So now I have plenty of choice in what I can eat.

I’m getting a wii and wii fit on Monday so at last i’ll be able to keep track of my weight and do some different exercises. The one I’ve recorded on my Sky box is getting a little boring.

That’s about it for now. Might get the man thing to do some before photos tonight, haven’t decided yet…

URGH!!!!

April 15th, 2012

What a night I had last night!! I felt fine until about 7.30pm, then everyone decided to come over and make loads of noise.

once everyone had gone… I lost the plot. I just snapped. Shouted at my hubby bless him, for no reason and just cried my eyes out.

I wasn’t hungry, my stomach was full. My brain was the one telling me to eat, and eat crap at that too. The main reason why I think it happened is because lovely aunt flo is on her way within the next week or so, so hormones everywhere along with cravings for everything I’m not supposed to have.

So, after all that happened I stayed indoors, had a bath and went to bed.

Today, I’m taking a break from the exercise. Just chilling out, and walking the dog later on tonight.

It’s the weekend!! WOO!!

April 14th, 2012

Happy weekend everybody!!

Started my Saturday with a good lie-in. I got up, had half a pint of water to wake up some more and got cracking on my morning workout. Got to 15mins and had to quit again. BAH! It’s starting to annoy me how I’m not really progressing with it… but… IT’S NOT EVEN BEEN A WEEK!!! Stupid, stupid brain!! Stop trying to make me feel bad about myself again!! I’m doing this for ME!! I need to change, I want to change, but I’m my own worst enemy!!

Anyway, after breakfast (apple, 1 slice of toast and a coffee) I chilled for a little, then, cleaned the living room from head to toe!! Well almost. I have the cabinet to do tomorrow but that won’t take half as long! I hope lol. Lunch was a nice pasta salad, with onion and a little tomato sauce, and dinner tonight? I have no idea yet lol

But one thing is for sure. I AM NOT GIVING UP!! I’ll walk the dog again tonight, then have a bath and an early night I think.

As for tomorrow, well sunday is supposed to be my rest day, but I’m still going to do my morning workout and dog walk, just because if I take a day off, I know I’ll struggle to get back on it.

I need to sleep!!!

April 13th, 2012

Even though I’ve overhauled by bedroom and flipped my mattress in the hope it would help me to sleep… NOPE!! So, that brings it to about 3 weeks without a proper nights sleep.

Adding to that today, I had to go to the jobcentre to sign on. So with little energy I had, I didn’t do my work out this morning, but did have a good walk around the city, so I don’t feel like I’ve let myself down. I had my breakfast today, for the first time in about 3 years. I had to force myself to eat it. Me and food first thing never used to be a good combination. But I suppose when I get used to it, it’ll get easier.

Dinner consisted of 2 jacket potatoes, chilli with fake (vegi) mince and a small salad. I struggled to finish it!! which isn’t like me. I usually over portion myself and scoff the lot… not today.

Gonna go walk the dog in an hour, have a bath and spend a quiet night on the ps3 and the man thing is playing darts tonight.

I suppose that’s all to report for today… All in all, not a bad day. I just NEEEED SLEEEEP!!!!

Allergies, how I Hate them!!

April 12th, 2012

So, after a naff sleep (finally dropped off at 4.30am and up at 10am) I got up, and tried to do my workout before breakfast. Mother in law on the other hand had other ideas, bless her. I got 8 mins into it and she walked in… completely putting me off lol.

I’ve only just mastered working out in front of the man thing, let alone anyone else! So, later tonight the dog can look forward to an extra long walk around the field to make up for the time I lost on my morning.

One day I will be confident enough to workout in front of family, I mean, strangers are no problem. Couldn’t give two hoots about what they think, but family… URGH!!

I’ve only been doing this workout thing for 3 days… and already I feel  a difference. Not in my weight or appearance but just in general. I feel energised, happier and well… like a different person.

Allergies however… they’re a different ball game. I mean it rained so hard at midday, but almost straight away I start sneezing… WTF is that about?! I thought rain was supposed to lessen the hay fever effects… oh well, I’ve put up with it for 20 years already… I guess I’ll survive lol

It’s not even 2 months ago, when i was stressed beyond belief, still on anti-depressants and just getting by.

Now…. I’m of the happy pills, I’m relaxed, and feel ready to take on the world!!

Another Day…

April 11th, 2012

another work out.

I’m not yet noticing the difference in my fitness levels, but after only 2 days of doing this workout… I’m not expecting any changes.

3fatchicks.com has been such an inspiration to me over the last couple of days. So much so, I CAN’T WAIT to get started on the diet next week.

I’ve already made little changes, smaller portions, no more mashed potatoes, boiled or jackets only and cutting the sugar in my coffee and adding the light exercise. Its not much but it’s a start I guess.

I just can’t wait to get started properly and make a change!!

Hello world!

April 10th, 2012

I’m really excited!! I stumbled on this site last night, and was relieved to see such a site exists, as I’m very close to starting a calorie controlled diet with regular exercise.

I’ve tried this diet once before about 3 years ago, just to keep the girls at work quiet because they were all doing it just before xmas. So, I gave it a go and actually lost 7lbs in 4 weeks which I was quite impressed with.

Anyway, about 2 weeks ago, I had to go to the doc to sort out an ear infection, and while I was there she popped me on the scales… Needless to say I was HORRIFIED!!

I’ve never been a skinny minnie. As a kid/teen I would play rugby and do a lot of swimming and horse riding. I was always fairly well built. Then, as I hit my 20’s and after a serious relationship breakdown, the weight seemed to pile on without me really giving two hoots.

Anyway, long story short. My partner and I have been trying to get pregnant now for about 2 years, and I have a few issues which is stopping us at the moment. My hope is that if I shift some of this weight that has been with me all these years it might happen let alone change other parts of my life.

So, here goes. Thursday 19th April 2012 is the day it all begins. Only because I’m unemployed and shopping can’t be done until I get my money.

Strange how I’m excited about this… other people hate the idea of going on a diet. I suppose I’m excited because I know what the real goal is at the end of this long road… Hopefully the pitta patta of little feet…