Low self-esteem

June 12th, 2013

I’m a bit stressed these days. I’m trying to coordinate a move so that I can leave my current residence, which I’m still on the lease for until January, and move in with my boyfriend. Well, I was coordinating it…then I became so obsessive that I offloaded the job on my boyfriend. He’s wonderful though, he took over without any complaint and has done a great job.

My roommate has started us on a workout routine so that we can both get in better shape. We’re about the same height - she might be a bit taller than me - but we’re both far from being thin and fit. She’s about 150 pounds but very strong. I’m 135 but I’m fairly weak. I’m thinner but not thin so what’s the point?

She kicked my ass yesterday. We jogged .42 miles to the gym, jogged another .58 miles on the treadmill, then did a bunch of leg and core exercises. I’m so sore today, I grunt and groan every time I walk or bend over.

Then, this morning, we jogged part of the way to the gym - we had to take a break halfway there, we hurt too much xD - and went straight into arm exercises. It was tough, I’m certain I’ll hurt tomorrow. I can’t even recall everything we did. She grouped three different exercises into one “set” so that we’d do two run throughs and then take a break. So, say like…X of one exercise, Y of another, then Z of another, then repeat that. After that, we’d take a short break and do the same framework again, just with three different exercises.

At the very end, a guy came in which made my roommate nervous so we finished our core stuff at home. 30 situps, 50 crunches, 30 slow bicycle kicks, and a few other things. I was in so much pain, let me tell you… If it weren’t for the fact that my dog needed to pee, I’d have stayed on that floor for at least 10 minutes.

We’re also going to start rock climbing Friday. I’m intimidated but I’m so sick of being lazy. I’ve sat at 133 to 135 pounds for literally months now. There’s no excuse for having not reached the 120’s by now except for pure laziness on my part. Historically, I’ve only done cardio so my roommate is really kicking my rump with strength training and I think rock climbing will be the ultimate for toning up.

Oh, and speaking of my dog…I went downstairs to find that he’d gotten hold of a pen and was chewing it. Ink everywhere. I spent an hour cleaning it up and I’m still not certain that it’s gone. I got most of it but it took half a can of hairspray, 5 glasses of water, and an entire roll of paper towels. I could have spanked his little ass, I was so mad. I settled for telling him he was a bad dog and putting him in his crate instead…

I haven’t gotten nearly enough work done today and I feel so unattractive I don’t even want to leave the house. But I have to, I’m seeing another apartment with my boyfriend this evening so I’m going to have to suck it up and keep my nerves in check.

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