General:
Female, getting old - nearly 40. married, happily. one kid living with me (DD). one that I gave up for adoption when I was younger (I never know how to answer that question ).
Living in the St Louis area, back to college for a mid life crisis career change - so we are always broke. I wanted to be a dr, but after a year in school I think it might be more than I can handle so I am looking at nursing or Physicians assistant.
On the fat
I am fat. I’m not just fat or overweight or even severely obese: I am so far into category III super obesity I don’t know if I’ll ever see another classification. Its the first and often the only thing people see when they look at me - it’s certainly what they remember. I have been fat for a very long time, chubby as a teen (although they called me fat then at 180) obese as an adult, super obese now for years.
I have squinty tiny eyes because my face is so fat and no real neck because of so many chins. I have flappy arms and booty by the acre. I have rolls and rolls of stomach and I can’t really look up because there is to much back fat.
Major Health Issues:
I’ve got bad knees. Right now the left one is being the pain in the butt. It’s not as bad as some people have, but it likes to give out at inconvenient moments (such as when I try to hurry down stairs to catch a train). I fight acid reflux. Often I have to sleep sitting up and I need to watch eating close to bed time. I probably have sleep apnea, but can’t afford to be tested right now, so hopefully it clears up as I lose weight.
I have some kind of seizure disorder. Some say epilepsy, some say something else - either way, petty mal seizures and odd spasms in the hands and feet. I can’t afford the treatment and another round of diagnosis right now so I just live with it. I don’t drive anymore, sometimes forget why I’m arguing and occasionally I kick or smack my husband at bed time, that’s about the extent of itl
For some reason I don’t have diabetes. I was borderline for years and had it during pregnancy both times, as well as tons of family history but at last checkup my blood sugar was 104 - not even borderline. Go figure. I keep expecting it though.
Mental Health Issues:
I am in fact, crazy. I don’t know what the diagnosis for this year is (just started with a new dr) depressed ? borderline personality disorder ? Bi-polar ? I don’t really care. Three doctors equals four opinions.
However I just started Prozac after years of managing without meds and I have to say I really like it. I helps with the really sad periods and the binging and I am mostly past the nausea.
Everything Else:
I like animals, I currently have 2 cats and miss having a dog. I have really persistent acne and it drives me batty because I am a “picker” and that makes it worse. I ‘m in pretty out of shape and I’m trying to get past that. I think I’m funny, even when no one else does and I like quirky things. I value my alone time (grew up in a trailer with 5 siblings) but I love to travel with DH and DD to see new things when I can.
Maybe someday I’ll know what I want to be when I grow up.
I believe, and know, that you can improve your life!
You just gotta work hard. Losing weight is not easy. But dear, nothing in life that is really worth it every comes easy. I know I sound a lot like those cheesy quotes lines, but I just want to encourage you! I admire the positive step you are taking toward your physical health and life. Just by recognizing your current situation, you have already fought half the battle! I am proud of you, and I hope with all my heart you reached your goal!
Also, don’t try to put yourself down too much because of your weight. Eventhough your weight is much of a concern, you cannot despised yourself for that. I believe you are a really beautiful person inside, and it’s time to prove to the world that YOU can be a beautiful person inside and out!
Work hard, I’ll definitely check back to see your progress!