don’t hate exercise (much) anymore

I realized I am excited about joining a gym this summer, I want to lift weights and swim.  I also am getting to like my chair exercise video and walking a mile doesn’t hurt the way it used too.  I remember a few weeks ago I was moaning about “when would this happen” and today, [...]

struggling, stress is kicking in

starting to struggle not to keep eating outside my eating window.   stress is kicking in.

I have a job interview friday

I have a job interview Friday……….
How nerve wracking is that?  I have been out of work for 5 years, and haven’t been able to get an interview in more than 3.  It would be a blessing to get this job.  I am not going to eat my stress though.

since I managed it yesterday……..

since I managed it yesterday…….. I am feeling a bit more motivated today.  Things aren’t perfect - the job front isn’t going the way I would like, but that isn’t within my control so I just have to accept it.
plan for the day, do my exercises, work on the huge pile of housework, have a [...]

half hearted, but I did today

Not where I want to be yet, but I did walk most of a mile and did a half hour of chair exercises and some light yoga stretching.
I did eat mostly salad today, and stuck to the IF timing - but my dinner salad was a heavy one, with a (southwest) ranch dressing, which was [...]

today is a hard day so far, talking out my feelings

today is a hard day so far,
I have a lot of internal anger because everything is so hard.  I want to lash out at everyone and everything.  I know I made the mess I am in, but dammit…… I’m trying to fix it and there seem to be obstacles at every turn.  Stumbling blocks, stumbling [...]

things to remember

I stole these from a 3fc forum member and made them for me:
1. I want to be healthy and feel comfortable in my body.
2. I do not want to die and leave the people I love without me.
3. I do not want to be embarrassed by how heavy I am.

Not sleeping and not happy about it

It’s 3am and I am awake again.  Itchy bug bites and anxiety came together to wake me up again.  I might as well talk about something that made me sad today.
Had my picture taken for a school ID today and even though I have lost 30lbs I am just really fat.  Fatter than I was [...]

another day that didnt go well

Today was a bad day in the eating dept and it is my fault.  I take responsibility.  These last three days have been a binge fest and completely my fault.
I haven’t had such a long binge in a while………. sigh
I should have packed my lunch and not relied on what was there or tried to [...]

today wasn’t a good day at all

It’s nearly nine and I am still eating.  Eating, Eating, Eating all day because of stress.  Everyone here is fighting with everyone else and tomorrow is going to be a very hard day because of a stressful interview.
God please bring me some peace tonight and some strength to begin again tomorrow