What Is Failure?

8 Jan 2011 In: Uncategorized

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” ~Mary Pickford

The last post I have written was in September, needless to say, it’s been a while. At that time I thought there had been some major changes in our life. Nothing compares to the last few months. To make a long story short, we have been through hell and are still surviving. That’s what amazes me, you can go through so much and still be alive.

Not surprising, my weight and health have been at the absolute bottom of my priority list. Why do women, especially moms, always put themselves last? It’s like as soon as you are married and have a baby, you are no longer worthy of time and energy. One thing I have decided, no one is going to take care of you but you, not even our beloved husbands. People can love us and want the best for us, but we have to take responsibility to take care of us.

So, here I am trying to take care of myself in the midst of everything. Things have calmed down and it hasn’t helped our situation that I have not been taking care of me. I have decided to go back to doing WW, this time at home as I cannot afford to pay for the meetings. I found a wonderful support group online and just need to get going with it. I did enjoy WW while I was doing it, actually it was the happiest and proudest I had been of myself in sometime. And right now I really need the flexibility it offers. I hope that there is still plenty of information about their old plan out there because I won’t be doing the new one yet.

On today’s agenda is digging out my WW kit and workout DVDs. I also need to find and purchase some of my “success” foods, things I was eating when I was actually losing on WW. I have decided from the beginning this time, I don’t expect perfection. I will slip up, it’s normal, but slipping up and getting off are two entirely different things. Slip ups are to be expected, it’s what I do the very next minute that matters.

My expectations this time around:
1.) I expect to put effort in, no one is going to do this for me.
2.) I will count all my Points, even if I go over by a hundred.
3.) I can take 30 minutes a day to exercise and focus on me, it’s not selfish it’s self sustaining.

I can do this, I have done this, and I will do this. I am tired of feeling this way, I am tired of constantly being worried about how my clothes look and not being able to wear the majority of the things in my closet, and I am tired of looking in the mirror. No one is going to take care of me but me, and I have lots of reasons to be healthy!

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” ~Mary Pickford

Diet Professor

27 Sep 2010 In: Uncategorized

Take care of your body. It is the only place you have to live.  ~Jim Rohn

Change is a good thing, or so I have always believed that. There have been a lot of changes since my last post about 2 months ago. The biggest being we moved states, I am no longer working, and we are loving every minute of it! I have, on the other hand, regained a significant amount of weight that I had lost on WW. I was not really prepared for all the changes, so am just happy to announce I didn’t regain all of it!

I tried WW here in AZ, but just did not connect with any of the leaders I tried. I also really had no motivation to go back, granted if I wait for motivation I will end up weighing 500 lbs! I just did not feel like it was right for me right now. I loved my leader in CO and was doing great, but just couldn’t get myself to count any Points!

I have developed my own “easy” program to follow. I have gained a ton of different knowledge through the vast array of diets I have tried over the years, in fact, if dieting were a college course I could be a professor! Each diet has had things that worked well for me and things that did not work at all. I have decided to combine the things that went well from each and mix it with knowledge about calories, nutrition, etc. I am focusing on getting a certain number of foods within “groups” and believe that if I meet these daily requirements I will not be as hungry for junk food. It sounds a little like following the food pyramid, but it has been changed to fit my body and its needs. We will see how it goes! I am just tired of counting anything and just want to be able to prepare healthy and delicious meals without a whole lot of agony!

Since we have moved I had to cancel my gym membership. I am thinking since the weather will be so nice here in AZ soon that I will take up walking. I am so out of shape right now that 30 minutes of walking will probably feel like a marathon! I figure I can commit to 30 minutes a day and work my way up. This is different than my usual approach: I have to do weight lifting 3x week, walk/run daily for 1 hour, and fit as many fitness classes as I can in- this lasts about 3 days and then it’s back to not much of anything. So, instead I will be a little more sensible (something that is coming with age) and not be as crazy about it and make a commitment that I can actually follow through on!

In the midst of all this sensibility, I will also be using the Beck Diet Solution book. I am on Day One and really hope that all the promises made in the beginning of the book actually materialize! I would love to be able to quit eating when I am satisfied, if I knew how to do that I would probably not be typing this now. I would also love to know how to stop and think before I eat instead of just doing it, what a novel concept! We shall see how it goes, I anticipate that I will learn something from it too!

So, essentially my “new” program involves eating to satisfaction within my “groups”, writing down everything I eat, walking 30 minutes per day, and doing the exercises in the Beck Diet Solution. I know I will not lose 10 lbs this week, but am going to work toward 1. Every 1 lb I lose is 1 lb closer to my goal! Wish me luck!!

Take care of your body. It is the only place you have to live.  ~Jim Rohn

It’s been a while!

27 Jul 2010 In: Uncategorized

Determine your priorities and focus on them.  ~Eileen McDargh

It has been a while since I have posted. Things have been crazy! WW was going great until the last few days, so I need to re-focus on that for a little while. I am continuing to move down and definitely do not want to go back up and have to do it all over again…

Since the last time I posted there have been some major changes in my life. Not an excuse to blow my eating but does make it a little harder to make it a top priority.

- My husband has taken a job in Arizona, and starts in 2 weeks!
- We are moving our family down there in 2 weeks!
- We went down for an interview and house hunting. Got the job and the house!
- Need to do something with our home here and get packed!!
- I am resigning from my job to stay at home with DS.

See, lots of changes! Needless to say, I am aware this is no excuse to ruin my progress. The last couple of days have been very stressful and I am exhausted! So, it has been a lot of eating out the last few days. I need to get back on track, get to the grocery store and buy some produce! I am getting there. Writing on here also helps keep me accountable, so I need to try to do it more often. It will be hard with everything, but I can do it!

Determine your priorities and focus on them.  ~Eileen McDargh

Stress…

13 Jul 2010 In: Uncategorized

Some people dream of success… while others wake up and work hard at it.  ~Anonymous

It’s amazing to me how that one little word can affect our lives so much. How our whole outlook on everything changes. I am always stressed, literally. I am very high strung, perfectionist, and never relax. The fact that I could unwind so much in PHX was great! Unfortunately, when I get really stressed I start eating, emotional eating. I am really fighting that today. Why is it that husband’s always wait until right before you go to bed to give you bad news? If I got it first thing in the evening I wouldn’t be happy but at least I would have time to settle down and get some sleep. DH is notorious for bad news bedtime stories! Anyway, trying not to let it derail my diet.

But, now that I am stressed it casts a different light onto my dieting endeavors. I am completely dissatisified with my efforts and success thus far. I mean I haven’t even lost 10 lbs yet, I did lose 10 and have since gained back enough that I no longer have lost 10. This is completely unacceptable. Why don’t I expect more from myself? I am not sure what my deal is. I can’t believe I have been doing this since April and haven’t even lost 10 lbs. Do I blame WW? Absolutely not! Their program works, when I do it right I know this. I can only blame myself for this. I am the one who has to put in the effort to see results, my effort has gotten me the results I see. A poor showing for someone who is more than capable physically to lose weight and get into shape. See, how things in life affect your views? I went from being happy go lucky to very realistic about what I have done and what I should expect from myself.

In fact, I am going to make a list of things I expect from myself. If I never identify my expectations I only set myself up for failure because there were no guidelines. Here are my new expectations:

- I expect to do an intense 30 min workout 5 days per week.
- I expect to make the best choices for my body.
- I expect to allow myself to relax and enjoy life.
- I expect to follow the program I am paying for and put in the effort required.
- I expect to set aside time to play with my son.
- I expect to put in work and not take the easy way out (cooking dinner really only takes 30 min.).

I have never thought about maybe I don’t have any expectations of myself, and then regardless of what I do I feel like I am failing. I did not set any expectations regarding a number or weight, I can’t expect my body to give me the numbers I want. I can expect that I control what I am physically and mentally capable of doing. I can expect to expect more from myself. I am tired of playing the victim, tired of feeling guilty, and done with the excuses. My weight loss so far has been dismal, but I can control my actions to turn it around. I can only expect what I put in, I need to start putting my best effort in.

See what happens when I get stressed? I start thinking all sorts of crazy things, but sometimes in the midst of all the chaos I realize something. Today I realized that I can’t mope about my weight loss, I am the only one responsible for that number. I can either continue to be “unhappy” with my progress or I can expect more from myself and put in more effort. I had an excellent day yesterday, and will continue to do great today. I am headed to the gym shortly to do my workout. I can’t expect perfection, but I can expect dedication and effort. I have given myself none so far, it’s time I start expecting more. It’s time I became worthy enough of dedication and effort!

Some people dream of success… while others wake up and work hard at it.  ~Anonymous

Back to Reality

12 Jul 2010 In: Uncategorized

The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.  ~Vince Lombardi

Why is it coming back from vacation is exhausting?? I had a wonderful, relaxing vacation with DH and we came home so tired! I didn’t get much done at home this weekend (other than napping) and am now back to the grind. Oh well! Phoenix was great, the wedding was beautiful, and DH and I got to spend some quality time together. I tried to stay OP and get in some activity. I did great til the last day, and am not going to beat myself up over it, it was VACATION! Back at it today though.

I have signed up for a BLC challenge and was assigned a partner. I don’t want to let myself down during the next 12 weeks, but I definitely don’t want to let her down! I am going to go at it strong for 12 weeks. I have spent the last 12 weeks sort of putting along, and don’t have a whole lot to show for it! I did the math, it cost me $225 to lose 12 lbs. This cost does include all the extras I have purchased, but that is almost $20/lb, not including the gym! This is crazy! I need to actually put in some effort and do the program right. No more excuses. It’s not hard, I just need to learn the lifestyle and move forward. I don’t know why I don’t push myself to do better.

I am going to try to do this week a little differently. This week I have planned out every meal and snack that I will be eating for the entire week! I have also planned out my exercise routine for the week. I am hoping this organization will prevent me from falling off the wagon. I have incorporated the 5 a day challenge that WW is currently doing. I have it all planned out and it will be really nice later this week to just check to see what I need to pack for work, rather than having to think about it. I have also scheduled a workout during each of my lunch breaks this week. I am going to try alternating weight lifting and cardio days. Most of my office and all of my team are out this week on a conference, so I have nothing better to do than start my new routine. I planned meals that I am actually looking forward to, and have left Points for dessert. I am having salad everyday for lunch this week, but I really need to jump start my program. Plus, after working out my salad will be delicious!

I have fallen in love with Fresh Express Salad Kits, they come with everything I need to make a delicious salad and I add grilled chicken. It is great! I know that I could mix up my own salad cheaper, but for the convenience it is worth the expense to me. I did save $ on the chicken though. Instead of buying the already grilled and packaged chicken breast strips, I batch grilled some chicken breasts at home. I grilled them, diced them up and packaged them. Now, I always have chicken ready for my salad and I got 5x more chicken for the same price, less the 20 minutes it took me to do!

I have stocked my house with WW friendly food, fresh produce, and great looking meats. There are no excuses this week at the scale. All the prep work and thinking have been done already, I just have to follow through. I have never been good at following the diets that plan everything out, but I also thought I would hate WW. So, I decided to give it a try. The difference between using a ready made meal plan and doing your own is I get to choose dishes I like, using foods that are on sale, and substitute out dishes if need be. I also planned and SCHEDULED my exercising so I have no excuses there. I have done all the thinking, now I just have to follow through with the plan.

I really hope this system works for me. I need a spring board and a new lifestyle and method of success. I love WW, I just need to work the program so I can love my WW journey! I enjoy exercising and need to make it a priority in my life! Here is to a great week and beyond…

The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.  ~Vince Lombardi

I Did It AND I Liked It!

30 Jun 2010 In: Uncategorized

Just go out there and do what you’ve got to do.  ~Martina Navratilova

I went to the gym yesterday over lunch and I liked it! It was not very busy at all, I got my entire workout in, AND I felt great! The afternoon went really fast, I didn’t have to worry about working out when I got home, I was able to relax and enjoy my evening, and I had energy throughout the rest of my day! It was great! I am planning on going again today. I know that I looked a lot better and people could actually tell I was losing weight when I was going to the gym. It is really hard to get back into a routine when you get out of one. I think though I like my new routine. I would like to add walking the dog for 30 minutes in the morning, but one thing at a time!

Made the WW recipe for Thai Chicken Stir Fry last night, it was delicious!!! I wasn’t sure if we would like it, I don’t really like Thai food, but it seemed pretty basic. It was going great until I added the fish sauce, and DH and I both were pretty sure that it wouldn’t be any good after that. It had a definite odor that we were not prepared for. I ended up adding to much soy sauce in an effort to mask the fishy smell. It turns out that I didn’t need to do that, the dish was wonderful! The fish sauce must cook down or something, but it didn’t smell anymore and we enjoyed our meal! I am looking forward to leftovers for lunch today! Yum…

Really excited that I only have one more workday this week and then I am taking 10 days off!!! I can’t wait! I am going to my meeting on Friday and I don’t want to miss my meeting next week. So, I am planning on attending a meeting on Tuesday night before we leave on Wednesday morning. This way I don’t miss a week and feel good before heading out of town. I will miss DS a ton, but DH and I need a trip just the two of us!

I think that is all! I am just so proud of myself that I went to the gym and actually liked it! This is something that I can see myself adding to my regular routine.

Just go out there and do what you’ve got to do.  ~Martina Navratilova

Let’s Try Lunchtime

29 Jun 2010 In: Uncategorized

Nothing will work unless you do.  ~John Wooden

Today’s goal is to workout during lunch. I think I probably posted this some other day as well, but it’s my goal today! It would be beneficial because:

1.) It’s exercise, obviously that’s good!
2.) It doesn’t take away family time (or my sleep)!
3.) If I am going to the gym I am not going out to eat, which saves money and helps me stay in control of what I am eating.
4.) I don’t have to worry about going after I get home tonight!

These sound like good enough reasons to go. Plus, I can’t stand being in my office all day, I have to get out! Planning on making that Thai Chicken Stir Fry tonight. I hope it is as good as I am imagining! Making a BBQ Chicken Ranch Chop Salad tomorrow. I take other people’s recipes and adjust them to our tastes and retitle them. It works for me!

My golf clubs came in yesterday! They are a really nice set! Looking forward to our trip, actually I can’t wait! We need some time alone and we both need a huge break from work. It will be good for us.

I don’t have much to say today. Looking forward to accomplishing my goal and getting a good workout in. I hope it’s not busy during lunch because I don’t want to be gone to horribly long! I intend to do my full workout, so hopefully time allows. Wishing everyone lots of luck today!

Nothing will work unless you do.  ~John Wooden

Slowly But Surely

28 Jun 2010 In: Uncategorized

There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.  ~Anonymous

Well, I am moving downward, slowly but surely. I lost another 1.4 lbs this week! I am not complaining, but it is definitely a slow race! I calculated it out and at this rate I will be just shy of my goal on my birthday. What’s the hurry? Actually, the more I think about it I don’t know why I am concerned. I am moving in the right direction. The weight is coming off, and I am learning skills I can incorporate for the rest of my life. I didn’t gain the weight overnight, I won’t lose it overnight anyway. Plus, slow and steady weight loss is supposed to be permanent! I will take -1.4 any week! Wow, that cheered me up fast!

This weekend was sort of rough. I think I stayed within my Points (a lack of proper tracking makes me guesstimate) and I didn’t eat very well. But, I didn’t pig out and I didn’t really eat that much. In fact, I skipped dinner every night and had plenty of Points, it’s just the choices I made racked up Points quickly! Back at it the right way today! Was going to have salmon for dinner but not sure I want to after all. I love salmon and it was on sale, so I need to eat it, I just hate writing down that many Points! Although, I have no problems writing down tons of Points for McDonald’s! If I don’t have it I will try the new WW recipe for Thai Chicken Stir Fry, it looks yummy!

Speaking of McDonald’s, I had it after my meeting on Friday. I wonder if I made poor choices over the weekend because every time I eat there I start craving bad foods? I had no intention of blowing off the weekend, but just started making poor choices. On the days I have McDonald’s it takes a while to get back on track. On the weekends I don’t I seem to do fine. I think there is a correlation. Not saying I will never eat there again, but just need to be aware of the fact that it seems to affect me like that! Good to know!

I think that’s all for now! I am so ready for a vacation, I just have to get through this week! Headed to the gym or at least doing a Jillian DVD this evening, I need to crank up (or start) the exercising! Busy day!!

There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.  ~Anonymous

Morning Madness

23 Jun 2010 In: Uncategorized

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.  ~Anonymous

I got up at 5:00 this morning (ok, 5:10), and went to the gym.  What?!!  I did it! I decided that it is too easy to find an excuse as to why I can’t exercise at night, plus I have always wanted to be a morning exerciser. So, last night I decided that I could either want to be or be a morning exerciser. I got up, gathered my things, and went to the gym! I planned on doing 30 minutes of rowing, but only did 10. My back was killing me and I didn’t have the endurance I had hoped for. But, I did 10 minutes more today than I did yesterday. I did learn a couple of things:

1.)  Eat something sustainable before I go. Half of an apple doesn’t cut it. I didn’t have the energy or stamina to finish because I was hungry.
2.)  Pack my stuff the night before, it took over half an hour to get my things together.
3.)  Start at a slower pace on the rowing machine until I build up my strength and endurance again, I don’t have to start at the last pace I did a month ago.
4.)  Don’t forget flip flops for the shower!

All in all, I am very proud of myself! I didn’t do as much as I had wanted but it was Day One! I am very happy that I got up and did it, and will get up and do it again tomorrow! I am hoping that not only will I be getting my workout in, I will also be able to get to work earlier!

Food has been going well. Ate at Chili’s yesterday for lunch and made a poor choice, but counted the Points and moved on. Planning on taking a walk to the park this evening, hopefully it’s cool enough out. Have a delicious dinner planned and really looking forward to a relaxing evening. Or at least more so than last night. I guess that’s all! My goal is to do 20 minutes of rowing tomorrow morning!

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.  ~Anonymous

Moving Downward

21 Jun 2010 In: Uncategorized

Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines.  ~Brian Tracy

Moving downward is always a good trend in weight loss endeavors! I am down for the week, and am hoping to be down lots more this week! We had a wonderful BBQ yesterday to celebrate Father’s Day and DH’s birthday. I ate 25 Points, and enjoyed every one of them. I counted ALL of them and moved on. I left plenty of Points for that event, and used a few of my Bonus Points. It was fun and guilt free!

I didn’t make my 5 lbs in 10 days, but that’s ok! I did work hard and lost, a loss is a loss. Plus, I am looking better and feeling tons better! I am not worried about the scale, but it was definitely the jump start I needed to get back on track!

I made my Friday meeting, I love that meeting! It really helps me get focused and centered for a successful week. We talked about tracking and the importance of it. I know I do better when I track, it’s just not always that easy. She had us grade ourselves on our tracking, I gave myself a C. I do really well the first 4-5 days of the week and then quit. I realized that I quit because I am tired and stressed and have given to everyone else all week, that I just want a break. This behavior is not making myself and my health a priority. I have given to everyone else and take something away from me. So, this week my goal is to track truthfully and complete the week! I deserve a few minutes each day to focus on ME, just me!

Got DH’s ticket to PHX booked, still waiting on my voucher to do my ticket. I called United (again) today to check on the status, I was really polite, I was just following up on my call from last week. Anyway, a long story short they have mailed my voucher and gave me another $150 voucher for being patient and for my inconvenience! Totally made my day! It almost paid for DH’s ticket and I still smile when I think about it. Thank you, United, you have wonderful service and I will definitely use them for all my future travel needs!

I think that’s all for today! I need to get back into the routine of posting more often. With summer it’s hard to find the motivation to get the computer out, it’s to nice outside to be on the computer! Hoping and working hard for a great week!

Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines.  ~Brian Tracy