Soon To Be Mini-Me!

Just because Rome wasn’t built in a day, doesn’t mean I can’t lose all 134 pounds I need to lose in a day, right? (this is sarcasm. embrace and love it)

There are probably somewhere around one million new fad diets being created as you are reading this blog. Out of those one million, none of them really work. ZERO. ZIP. ZILCH. NADA. You know what does work? The answer is so simple, you’ll probably punch yourself in the face for getting fat because you didn’t follow it: EAT LESS, EXERCISE MORE.

UM, DUH! But let’s be honest with ourselves. Who wants to eat just one plateful when four are so readily available? Not to mention, who in their RIGHT MINDS wants to go JOGGING (or is it pronounced yogging…like with a silent ‘j’?), when you could watch a super marathon of The Office? (God do I love me some Jim and Pam!) Beautiful people, that’s who. Yes, we’re all beautiful in our own way, but if you’re dieting, you obviously aren’t the kind of beautiful you wish to be. I know I’d rather be the Jennifer Aniston kind of beautiful than the Roseanne kind of beautiful, but I had that fourth plateful and watched The Office. *shrug*

So, here’s what I’m doing. First of all, I’m not drinking soda anymore after tonight. I have to quit cold turkey, or hell…I WON’T QUIT AT ALL. Then I’ll just gain a couple hundred more pounds I’ll be trying to lose later. Next, I’m cutting out all fast food. OMG YES ALL OF IT. It tastes good, but it isn’t literally TO DIE FOR, now is it? No.

So here’s the deal. I’m not a calorie counter or some sort of crazy nutrionist here. I know breakfast is important, so I’m going to eat that. Lunch and dinner seem like good ideas, too, so they get to stay. A snack in between each meal couldn’t hurt, either. Everything just needs to be in smaller portions than usual. No, not something so small an ant would scoff at, but something reasonable. As I get smaller, so will my portions. Funny how that works.

Also, true story. I’m a human being, thus I make mistakes. I guarantee right now that I will slip up, so I am prepared to just let it go and move on. I won’t give up like a quitting quitter, I won’t cry like a baby, I’ll just make a better decision next time around…and maybe exercise a little more to make up for the inevitable slip. (Also, there is no wagon, so I can’t fall off…HA!)

As for exercising, right now I’m going to start off with some brisk walking, and work my way up.

Last but not least, a time frame. Um, I don’t want one. If I have some sort of crazy unreachable goal here, I’ll just get upset and eat a lot and gain more weight when I don’t reach this unreachable goal. So, I’ll get there when I get there.

I’m using this here weblog as a food journal, too. My hope is that it will help me with my accountability (or lack thereof) which will also help me stay the course. WIN!