Yo-yo no more

 Halloween Goal:

Ultimate Goal: 

Yes….. this week, I LOST 2 POUNDS!!!! For everything that’s been going on this last week, on top of not doing a single ounce of exercise for the past 2 weeks, I was VERY excited to see 206 on the scale this morning.  Also, as you’ll notice, the ultimate goal has changed again.  Hubby and I are in the process of discussing future kiddos.  The when to have them, will more kids be right for us, etc.  So, until we decided definitely to have more children, my goal is at 145.  When I reach 145, I will reassess my goals, see if I’m happy where I’m at, etc.  Then decide from there if I want to lose more or not.

Today is also measurement day - but I packed away the tape measure..lol.  So, I’ll have to wait til we get where we’re going to measure myself (should be in the next day or two).  For now, however, I am SO pleased!  Only 3 pounds from my Halloween goal.  It will definitely take work, but I’m all about going for it.  TOM is supposed to be here in 1 week.  That means I will have the full on bloat on Halloween.  So, the weigh-in may be delayed until TOM gets here (that’s how it was for Labor Day too…UGH)

So, I’ve been in a funk all day today.  Not really a funk…just kind of a “screw-the-world” kind of mood.  Not sure what caused it, but it’s here nonetheless.  I was cleaning up my daughter after lunch and had one of those tingling sensations down my head and into my spine.  (The pre-cursors to an anxiety attack).  So, I come in here to check when my next ovulation date is supposed to be.   What to ya know, my predicted ovulation date is Oct. 19.  And, what is today??? Say it with me class: Oct. 19.  I figure when I go to see a doctor about this, I’ll print out every post that has to do with my anxiety along with my Mycycle.com calendar and take it with me to the doc. so she can see the pattern.

This is all… class dismissed

Halloween Goal:

Ultimate Goal:

Today was weigh-in day. I am so happy to say that I lost 1 pound!!!!!!

The reason I am so excited about this is that this has been my laziest week EVER! The hubby and I did get out and go walking last night. That’s the most I did all week. So, I’m surprised that I even lost 1 pound. I’m still working my way down!

I did change my Halloween goal from 199 to 203. Getting down to 2 weeks from Halloween and I’d still have 10 pounds to go! I want to actually be able to reach my goal so I changed it. Nothing wrong with that. 203 will still be a challenge (especially if I keep up the lazy streak). But, it’s definitely more attainable than 199. I’ll reach 199 soon enough though. And, I’ll still be having my “under 200″ party.

Halloween Goal

Ultimate Goal

I LOST  3  POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!

I can not even begin to explain my excitement right now!!!!  I have never lost 3 pounds in a single week!!!!!  My hard work is starting to really pay off!  I am now in the single-digits … 209.   AND, as a NSV, I have to re-adjust my WW points again because of the weight I’ve lost!!  Do you even realize how happy this makes me!?!!?!?!?  Check my measurements tab, because I’ve also lost 10.5 inches in the past 2 weeks!!  I am have also lost 10% of my original starting weight of 235!!  WOW!!!! SO MUCH EXCITEMENT!!!! 

Sunday is my 60 day anniversary on WW… what a way to celebrate, having lost 10% of my starting weight.  I’ll have a celebratory weigh-in on Sunday for my anniversary.

For now, I leave you with my happy dance

Okay.  A fellow Black Team Member posted a great question on our board today asking us if we had any “secret” goals.  Obviously we all want to lose weight to have smaller clothes, be healthy, etc.  She was asking about goals that you haven’t really told anyone.  So…. I got to thinking about it and I have a couple.

1) I have always been the “fat” grandchild.  My grandparents have 14 grandkids…. of all of them, I am the heaviest.  My weight is something that has been acknowledged by my grandfather on a few occasions. So, I am ready to pass on my title and no longer be the fat grandchild!

 2) Sometime in 2008, I will be having my 10 year high school reunion.  I would LOVE to show up smaller than what anyone in high school remembered me.  That won’t be so hard to do seeing how as I was over 200 pounds when I graduated!  I’d love to go knock them all over and be a hottie though.  Show all the guys who didn’t ask me out or give me the time of day what they missed out on.  

3) This could be TMI for some of you.  But I would LOVE to be able to give my hubby a good old-fashioned super sexy lap dance.  I can’t do that now.  I don’t think it’s sexy when your gut reaches your husband before your boobs do!! 

So, these are some of my “secret” goals…. though I don’t guess that they are so much a secret now, huh? *teehee*

 I realized that Sunday will be my 60th day on WW.   I am so proud of myself!  I’ve never stuck with anything for 60 days (other than breathing, being a wife and mommy).  That’s a fairly big deal to me.  So, it’ll be interesting to see what my weight is on Sunday…. see how far I’ve come in only 60 days!

Halloween Goal:

Ultimate Goal:

Well… I lost 1 entire pound this week!

I’m actually pretty happy about it though.  I believe that “the bloat” from TOM coming is a part in me not losing more.  I’ve done really well this week with not going over my WW Points, not eating after 8:00PM, exercising daily, etc.  Yet, the scale still reads the same exact number it read on Monday when I sneaked-a-peek.  But, I’m still happy…… why? you may ask….

1) I’m OUT of the 2-TEENS!!!!!!! That is VERY exciting!!!!!
2) A pound lost is still a pound lost.  I didn’t gain… “the bloat” didn’t cause me to go up 5 pounds like it did last month.
3) All the hard work I put into it this week, plus all the hard work I’ll put into it next week, minus “the bloat” (which should be gone by Wed. or Thurs.) should mean one heck of a weigh-in next Friday!

I’m still on for my Halloween Goal  

I haven’t given up on it, nor will I (unless I’m still sittin at 212 the day before Halloween, then it would be time to reconsider…haha!

 So, I’m happy with today’s weigh-in.  It isn’t quite the 210 I hoped for - but game still on!

My goal for this week is to not step on the scale again until Friday morning!!!  I’ve been getting on the scale every single time after I go to the bathroom (we keep the scale in the bathroom)… it’s almost an obsession.  So, I need to break myself of that and save up the anticipation for Friday.

and ta-da….  symtoms of an impending anxiety attack are here! yay!  Again, this is just me making a note of it on here.   I’m trying to see if there is a correlation between TOM (and ovulation times) when hormones are at their wackiest - and my anxiety attacks.  So far, there seems to be.  Interesting…..very interesting.  Indeed.

 Symptoms - started by feeling like a small child was sitting on my chest (no pains involved, no irregular breathing), I checked my pulse…. normal.  From that - I felt that tingly sensation in my head.  Now, I’m wondering if I’m dying of a heart problem (I should NOT have read news story about Isaac Hanson having surgery to remove a blood clot yesterday….. I’m SUCH a hypochondriac!!! Wonderful world of anxiety… how I love you so!

ETA: Well…. no wonder my anxiety attacks were coming full steam yesterday.  TOM didn’t wait til Monday to appear - he came last night!!!!!  Could my “wishy-washy” cycles be causing my hormones problems and causing hormone-induced anxiety attacks???? I will be bringing this up with a doctor.  I’ll give it a couple more months to see if the pattern continues.  I would think the only thing they could do for that would be to put me on some sort of Birth Control and I’m NOT going there again!  I hated Birth Control when I was on it…. but, who knows….. just glad TOM came today!  My bloating should be going away by mid-week. 
Today…… we’re going to the fair!!!! CORN DOGS HERE I COME!

I was so glad to go to bed last night and leave my sucky day behind me.  I knew that today was a new day.  I was right.  I woke up this morning and stepped on the scale…. I AM NO LONGER IN THE 2-TEENS!!!!!!!  I remember not very long ago wanting to be out of the 220’s and into the 2-teens…. but, I’ve already gone through them and on to the 2-single digits!!!

So… I’m still working hard to meet my 210 goal for Friday!  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. 

But, the small victory on the scale this morning was just what I needed to get my day going good!  So, today is cleaning day in our house.  I’ll be watching 3 kids and cleaning house - it’s like an all day workout!!

Well, I got a nifty spiffy e-mail reminder today that TOM should be here in one week from yesterday.  Yippee.  I can already tell he’s on his way.  I have been SO grumpy today and just in a “blah” mood.  Felt like crying all day long.  So glad that tonight is The Biggest Loser and DH said he’d take the kids out so I can have the house to myself.
 

I hate PMS and I hate TOM.  I turn into a very moody, very VERY sensitive person.  I hate it.  I tend to concentrate on everything that’s going wrong in my life when TOM is around as opposed to everything that’s going right.  It sucks.  Every little thing that anyone does sets me off and makes me frustrated.  I’m embarassed about the way I act and how easily I get angered when TOM is around, but it’s like I can’t control it.  OYE!

It’s supposed to storm tonight.  I hope it does.  I like storms. 

As for my day with exercises and food, doing well.  I have points saved out to have a slice of WW Peanut Butter pie and a coffee while I watch TBL.  I know it sounds pathetic to eat while watching TBL… but, I’m not stuffing my face with pizza, pops, chips, dip, etc.  Just a simple piece of pie and coffee.  It will make me feel better (maybe…lol) And no, I’m not using food as a “pick-me-up” that was a joke.  My snack for tonight has already been documented in my WW journal.  Points have already been alotted for it.

I feel like I need a vacation.  But of course, we don’t have money for a vacation.  We do good enough to pay our main bills each month.  DH losing his job in January has set us back by about 5 years.  We had so many things go into collections, we had to take a loan out on our van, and now he’s found a job that will barely allow us to eek by every month. We have collectors calling us every single day. So, why on earth would I even have the slightest hope that we could take a vacation? I don’t want my kids to have to grow up like I did…. constantly having to go without, not getting to take vacations, having to put clothes in lay-a-way in hopes that mom and dad could eventually pay it out before we outgrew the clothes. 

DH and I are both SO creative.  We’ve taken up photography and would love to do that for a living.  All kinds of photography - weddings, portraits, travel, etc. If you’d like to see some of our pictures, you can go here http://mynetimages.com/album/Birdsongphotography/  I’ve loved taking pictures since I was a kid, and DH is the same.  We just recently realized we should start our own business.  We don’t know the first thing about starting our own business though.  So, I’ve signed up to get an Associates degree in Business so I can learn.  So, I know someday we’ll be out of the nasty quicksand pit we’re in.  It’s just hard to go through it.

Wow.. I guess I needed to vent.  I didn’t intend this blog to be this long. So glad this thing is here though.  That’s for sure!