Chasing away Chubby

Where has the week gone?  I have done nothing but spring clean all week long.  :/  The house is looking better.  Today I have to tackle the kitchen. 

BF has moved in.  I know many of you will see this as a dumb move on my part, but I can not make the rent now not working.  I am out of $$$.   It seems I only blog about BF when he is being a complete asshole.  I don’t give him enough credit most of the time because I am always so angry about the things he has done to me in the past.  He has grown up a great deal over the last couple years.  We have really been doing okay, with the exception of his cheating incident with the girl who turned stalker. (BTW, changing his phone number seems to have stopped all that nonsense.  She called a few of his friends a few times after that trying to get his new # and we have heard nothing since! YAY!) I know we will have rough times, but for now it has to be.  He knows if he does not walk the line then he’ll have to leave, and so far so good.   We got in a few arguments during the move this past weekend, but moving is STRESSFUL.  Especially when you are moving a neat freak into a cluttered mess of a house, and you are trying to decide what to keep and what to toss, whose furniture to use and what to get rid of.  Things have been better since then though.  

I have been so busy, literally working from sun up to sundown that I haven’t had time to work out.  That seems to be working for me though as this morning I am back down to 222!  That is 3 pounds gone in about a week!!  I think the diet for me is no diet at all.  I just need to stay busy and not worry about what I put in my mouth,  I literally eat less when I am NOT dieting.   Dieting puts an unhealthy focus on food, and for a reformed binge eater (I say reformed because I used to binge DAILY, now my binges are less than monthly.  Now I just overeat.) that spells disaster.  When I diet, all I think about is food, I count the minutes down to my next meal, I daydream about what I am going to eat, and I will inevitably overeat because food is my focus.  But no more.  I just need to stay focused on what I need to do, work my ass off on cleaning out this clutter and getting the things done I need done, and let food fall by the wayside.  It is important for energy, it is not important for my life.

I am going to start training for a 5K in September.  I will start that soon.  That will help get this weight off.

So today is clean the kitchen and get the mini deep freeze of BF’s in there.  Then I need to go to the library, DD has dance tonight, but I may see if her Nana will  take her so I can do some more around here.  Bf will be home arounfd 3:00 since his factory has cut out overtime this week.  Hopefully, it will not last very long…he doesn’t think that it will.  They build garbage trucks and that is one thing the world will sadly always need. 

Well I am off to my day!!  I will try to comment later!

Love to all!!

PS.

I am always down on myself because I am so fat and I hate the way I look.  I may only weigh 6 pounds less then when I started this 2 years ago, but I am healthier, happier, and have a ton more self esteem.  I can run (I ran last week the first time in about 6 months since I had seriously ran and I wasn’t sore~ at all!!!), I am strong enough to lift a pressed board desk over my head and carry it 50 feet to the street, up and down steps, by myself!  I know that if I really try that there is nothing I can’t do.  That is an accomplishment, a miracle really, unto itself.  I can do this.  I know I can.   Now I just have to get my ADD butt in gear and keep my focus and make this happen for me.

Posted on April 2nd, 2009 by lodyangel
Filed under: General | 4 Comments »

Isn’t that a nice thought ot have on such a breathtakingly, beautiful, day!  But it is true.  I have done a great job eating healthier, and what happens….today I weigh in at 224!!!  Two-hundred and twenty four freaking pounds!!! 

WT freaking F!?!?!

I am eating healthier.  I feel a bit better, and yet i gain…alot.  How do you explain that???  Becasue I can’t stop eating.  I am eating too much.  i am always hungry.  So i have decided.  It is time to get super active and try to lose this weight by eating healthy and doing lots of sweating.

I did Week 1 day 1 of C25K since it has been so long since I ran.  How pathetic is that?  I could have went farther, but I didn’t want to push myslef too hard and hurt myself.  I walked the rest of the time and walked for over an hour and walked 3 miles.

well off to bed!

Posted on March 23rd, 2009 by lodyangel
Filed under: General | 3 Comments »

Okay I got up at 6:20 and did a 20 minute yoga DVD.  At least it was something!!

Have a great day chickees!

Posted on March 16th, 2009 by lodyangel
Filed under: exercise | 3 Comments »

Yesterday was my last day at my 5th grade student teaching placement.  It was rough. 

I totally fell in love with 50 kids.

Amazing! A seasoned, burned out, former pre-K teacher fell for these kids so completely, and all in 9 short weeks!  I saved most of the tears until I got to Mom’s and then I balled like a baby. 

They had me a little Mini party.  The teacher had given me 3 (5th grade appropriate) books: The Report Card, Because of Winn Dixie, and Walk Two Moons. I already had Walk Two Moons, but will have to keep this copy as the kids from both 5th grades signed the title pages.  The comments were so sweet, thus why I cried.  Here are some of the comments:

” Love you.”

“I will sing a song to remember you by!”

“Thank you for helping us do better in school.”

“I will miss you really bad.”

“I will miss you.  You really need to stay.  But I will miss you.  I’m crying!”

“I will miss you so much!  Me and Austin will not know what to do!”

“We love you!’

“What will we do without you?”

“No one can replace you.”

“Best student teacher ever!” (They have had 3 student teachers this year.)

“I will miss you so much!  Thank you- I love you.”

“We will all miss you so much. Although I will miss you the most.”

“What will we do without you.”

“I will miss you forever!  You was the best!”

“We enjoyed you alot!  You were very nice and sweet!”

I read “The Report Card” last night before bed.  One of the girls bought me a gift.  If you think students don’t pay attention to you- You are so WRONG!  In the giftbag was almost everything I had snacked on the entire time I was there.  When I first started I had snacked on unsalted peanuts.  One day I brought a 100 cal pack of oreo’s, another day I was hungry and healthiest thing that was available in the snack machine was peanut M&m’s, the day before I brought cheddar chex mix.  So in the bag was a large container of peanuts, a bag of chex mix, a package of Oreo cakesters, and a big bag of peanut M&M’s.  A very thoughtful gift. I showed it to my supervising teacher and she laughed and said. “It’s like she was looking in your desk drawer!” (where I left the remains of said snacks for another day!)  It just proves that even when you think they aren’t watching…they are.

So I was a a crying mess yesterday.  They also made me a few cards.  I stuck them in the clearview front of my binder so I can see them everyday.

I even cried when I went to bed. And I am not 100% sure that I am done crying yet.   I will get to go see them again in May.  I promised to volunteer after my other placement ends.

My next placement is at the school my kids go to (and I went to).  It is in kindergarten, so being a former pre-K teacher I know what I am in for.  Plus there are several special needs children, and the teacher has had a bad year.  So you see why I am not as excited about starting this next placement. 

5th grade was so great.  I don’t think that kindergarten can compare.

Okay enough complaining for now.

Today is all about cleaning, working out, and getting things done.  I am off to curves now!!! I will be back later to comment!

Posted on March 14th, 2009 by lodyangel
Filed under: General | 6 Comments »

Today is beautiful!!  It is warm and breezy (okay more like down right windy!) But the high is suppose to be 72 degrees and me and the kids all have on shorts (the first short donning of spring!!)!  Devin and his friend went fishing at sis#2’s lake.  The sun is shining, my doors are open and their will soon be blankets hanging outside to dry.  Life right now is good.

Weight was 222 this morning.  Up a few pounds but that is okay I guess.  Not gonna beat myself up over it.  I realized that I have a problem with food.  (Funny, I can almost hear the chorus of “DUH”  right now.)  I have decided that food will always be a problem for me.  It’s not like other types of addiction where you can quit cold turkey.  I mean, you always have to eat, therefore food will always be around.  So while I again go about trying to teach myself what to eat, I have decided the real key lies in my activity level. 

I need to move more.  (Again, do I hear the chorus of duh’s???)  And so now I begin the great effort to get back into shape and therefore drop these insightly pounds forever!  (Okay, sounded like a commercial there for a second.)   I re-joined curves this week and managed to work out 2 times in 3 days.  I wanted to go everyday but I was sore the first day, so took a rest day off.  I went yesterday and broke a sweat.  I am the only chick there who does squats at the recovery stations!  That is why I was so sore.  But the soreness is better today so I am off for a walk.

BF is taking me out for my birthday tonight.  My B-day is actually Monday.  So I ate light today so as not to do too much damage tonight.

Well off to enjoy the gorgeous day!

Posted on March 7th, 2009 by lodyangel
Filed under: General | 3 Comments »