Chasing away Chubby

Insanity Day #2

Posted lodyangel on February 16th, 2010 | Filed under General | 2 Comments »

Well, I am gearing myself up for Day #2 and my first official workout. I’m a little sore in my shoulders and my back, and maybe a tad in my legs. I am going to follow the “Elite nutrition eating plan” that comes with Insanity. I started yesterday and did okay with it. It’s hard to get 5 mini meals in. It will be next to impossible on days when I work. I am a substitute teacher and you can’t eat in the middle of teaching!

What I like about the insanity diet plan is that it tells you what to eat. Not that alot of diets aren’t like that, but it uses Michi’s ladder. So I don’t have to follow their plan to a tee, I can find my own meals. The meals are suppose to be 40% protein, 40% carbs and 20% fat.  So I am trying to follow that.

Well I am off to do workout #2. I am really not looking forward to this, but I am looking forward to seeing results!!  More later!!

Insanity- Day 1

Posted lodyangel on February 15th, 2010 | Filed under General | 1 Comment »

I bought the “insanity” workouts from BeachBody.  The price was insanity at $150!!  They are suppose to get you in great shape in 60 days.  They claim to be the toughest workout ever put on DVD.  I started Day #1 today the “Fit test.”  The fit test alone was the toughest workout I had done in a long time.  I actually got sick to my stomach.  I honestly thought I might puke!  (I checked the boards and there is a thread about Insanity.  There was a girl on there who started insanity recently too and she actually did throw up!) There was a minute break between each exercise but I took a 2 min break between most because they were just so HARD!!  I am nervous about doing the actual workouts now.  Its gonna be tough, but I guess that is what it takes to really see results then I’ll do it.  I am sick of this fat body. I am ready to do this and do this right. I also am going to follow the insanity diet.  It’s 5 small meals a day. It’s difficult because I have to eat even when I don’t want to.  Hope I can stick with it and lose some weight!

Waking up to a Winter Wonderland

Posted lodyangel on February 10th, 2010 | Filed under General | 1 Comment »

We got more snow last night…about another 2 inches on top of the 4 inches we already had.  So it looks like more snow shoveling today.

I haven’t been here for a few days and as what goes with being MIA I slipped off the dieting wagon a tad. I chose good healthy foods for our Superbowl party, but still ate too much.  I’ve been eating better, but the sugar intake has been too high the last few days.  I have gained back 3 pounds this morning. :(  My fault for losing my focus.  So today I am back to eating whole foods as much as possible and counting calories.  This morning I had a fruit/whey protein smoothie.  It makes enough for 2 days so that will be my breakfast for tomorrow. Lunch will be a LC tortilla crusted fish, and dinner is still up in the air but I am pulling for burgers and a salad. Snack will be laughing cow cheese and baked Tostitos.

Last night I started to do Jillian’s 30 day shred, and did something to my elbow during the warm-up…the part where you are doing the windmills.  Something just pulled.  So I turned it off and did tae-bo and today that elbow is sore.  So today I am taking it easy exercise wise.  I am going to do Yoga for the core, and 35 mins Denise Austin core complete on ball, and 10 mins flexibility on the ball to finish.

I ordered the insanity workouts, which the price of those things are insanity all on their own!   Its gonna cost $150 after all the payments are made. Freaking ridiculous!  Of course if they deliver what they promise it will be the best $150 I have ever spent. I looked the workout up on the boards here and ppl seem to like them.  They say that it really changes your body.  So I am all for that!  I’ll keep you posted!

Well off to my day!  I hope all you chickees have a great one! Stay warm!!

Can’t believe tomorrow is Wednesday!

Posted lodyangel on February 3rd, 2010 | Filed under General, therapy | 3 Comments »

This week is flying!!  I can’t believe that we are at mid-week already.

This past weekend was not good.  It wasn’t horrible, but it could have been better. I din’t workout at all, and slid off the diet a bit.  Didn’t really eat anything naughty, just ate more than i have been.  My weight is holding steady so it must not have been that horrible. Yesterday I ran with Trini and Devin for 35 mins.  Trinity still kicked my ass, but I tried harder to keep up with her, and did a pretty good job.  Devin was lagging again. I had to chase him again to make him run. He has my self defeatist mentality that I used to have. I got to get that boy out of that. He doesn’t believe in himself.  I chased him down the road to prove to him he could do it, when he tried to quit.  I am surprised someone didn’t call social services. Lol!

Today I lifted weights for 40 mins.  Mostly I did upper body and abs. Tomorrow I am running again, so I wanted to save the legs.  (After a hard workout I am sometimes really tired and I want to concentrate on the running, since I am training for a race.) Tomorrow I will do “30 day shred” and run.

THE BIGGEST LOSER SPOILER!!!!!

TBL was good tonight. I had no respect for Miggy (green) until tonight.  I really wanted her to go home. However, I was pulling for her during the weigh in.  She really surprised me this week with all the tears and pulling together after surgery to stay above the yellow line.  I also was surprised by Micheal (white) winning immunity.  I was really hoping to get rid of Melissa (red) this week, but they managed to stay above the yellow line. I just don’t think she is there for the right reasons. I was happy the yellow team got to stay but felt bad for the purple? team. It was obvious they worked really hard too.  I was sorry to see the brown team go.

My Therapy. This is my therapy session with myself.  I would appreciate no harsh judgments  or opinions about what I should have done in these past situations.  This is for my own healing. Many things I discuss here happened years ago. So empathetic comments only…You can kick my ass about missing workouts but not about my past decisions which I am working to understand. Thank you for playing.

Jillian said something that was really profound to me tonight.  “What is it about your life that is so painful that you are manifesting your own death?”

Wow.

Yeah, that applies to me.

Shit.

To answer that question, I would have to say my relationship with BF.  When we got together I loved that boy. I loved that boy with everything that was in me.  I gave him everything.  Would have done almost anything for him.  On top of that I trusted him completely. He was the first guy I ever trusted that way…and the thing was…I knew better.  I knew never to trust a man.  I used to tell my little sister that as soon as you trust them, they cheat on you.  As soon as I admitted I trusted him to my little sister, not a week later he confessed to cheating on me the first time.  My little sister reminded me of my own rule…which I had broken.  I was devastated.  I was shattered.  I NEVER, EVER stayed with guys who had done me wrong before (and there were plenty), but for some reason I stayed with him.  I thought he was truly sorry (he had confessed) and that he would never do it again. But he did. He cheated on me when I was pregnant, and every other chance he got. He’s not good at it.  I am sure I have caught him nearly every single time.  And yet, though sometimes we would break up, in the end we would end up back together and I would stay. Even though sometimes I didn’t want too. I found it easier to stay and not face reality…the entire time I attempted to eat my pain away.  I destroyed myself because I couldn’t bear to face the future alone.  How pathetic is that? The bigger I got, the more he cheated, the more my self esteem shrank. Now before I met him, I was a hottie- AND  I KNEW IT.  My sister likes to say I had too much self esteem. But after him, I had none. I used to hide from old friends in Walmart so they wouldn’t see how fat I had gotten.  I stayed away from friends I knew in the past because I was so ashamed.  I hated the fat and yet in a way it was security.  Security from the world that I had left behind. Security from letting my old friends see what a loser I had become…a fat useless pig, who let her man cheat on her and treat her badly.  I deserved nothing, so I gave myself nothing. It was depression…a mild form of it.  I was not healthy.  Then a few small changes happened in my life…I took a weight loss hypnosis class that also included therapy and I began to see what caused me to stuff my face uncontrollably-HIM.  Then myspace came along and I began to reconnect with people from my past through the safety net of my computer.  People who I thought would never accept me for what I had become, and I was wrong. All my old friends accepted me.  Old boyfriends wanted second chances with me because life had taught then painful lessons and they knew what they had screwed up-and yes they knew I had gotten fat. They didn’t care. But I didn’t pursue any of that because I would never sink down to his level to cheat on him like he did me. I gave him respect he didn’t deserve and sometimes I could kick myself for that. Sometimes I wished I had cheated just so I could have gotten mine, but I’m better than that.

So, I know you will all ask why am I still with him?  Sometimes I think I love him (I do love him), sometimes I think its outta fear of the unknown, sometimes I think its because we have such a long history,  and sometimes I just don’t know.  Our relationship is till very rocky, but better than in the past.  We have both grown and changed as people, but there is still work to be done. I know I am too good for him.  I don’t think he appreciates me.  Okay, I know he doesn’t appreciate me. You would think after all that we had been through that he would just be happy that I chose to stay with him, but that is not how it works. He has less respect for me because of it. If I had left him it would have taught him a lesson, but by me staying he learned nothing, except I am a doormat.  And I hate being a doormat. It’s just so not me to be a doormat. If you knew the real me, the me before him…you’d never dream I would be anyone’s doormat. I hate feeling powerless in the relationship. I hate feeling like I have no control. We are two very strong willed people and sometimes neither of us will bend, but I never win. I never win the argument. I feel like I am expendable. I know he loves me, but he doesn’t love me enough to put me before himself.  He is very selfish, very psychopathic (in that he shows no real remorse for his actions.  Not that I think he is going to go kill a bunch of people.) I can’t change him. And its hard to change me when he is here. He is supporting me some in my weight loss effort this time.  He likes the changes he has seen in my body…though he doesn’t give compliments…a girl knows these things. :)  He is very self centered.  AND I will never trust him again-Never.  So the question is what to do with all this knowledge.  The decision is ultimately mine, but I have 4 beautiful kids to think about, and I don’t get the luxury of being selfish.  I do know I am going ahead with my goals. I am going to keep working toward the type of person I want to be.  I am not letting anyone stop me.

I achieved a Goal!!! ChEcK It oUt!!

Posted lodyangel on January 29th, 2010 | Filed under General | 6 Comments »

Here are some things I want to achieve by Mid-March.

* I want to be one dress size smaller from a 18 to a 16.

* I want to be able to do 5 boys push-ups. (I will check this every Monday.)
Goal met 1/29/2010!!!!!

* I want to be able to run 2 miles.

* I want to be 15 pounds lighter.

* I want to log my food DAILY either online or in my organizer.

*I want to eat vegetables/fruit at every meal.

* I want to remove over-processed foods from my diet.

Goals I want to achieve by May 1st.

* I want to be a size 14.

*I want to have lost a total of 38 pounds. 199!!

* I want to be able to do 10 boys push ups.

*I want to be able to run 3.1 miles.

Goals to achieve by September 30, 2010

*Have completed my 1st 5K.

Awaiting the snow…

Posted lodyangel on January 29th, 2010 | Filed under General | 1 Comment »

Big snowstorm is headed this way but the dear Weather guy said we are only suppose to get 1-2 inches.  Just enough to be irritating and cause traffic problems.  The south is gonna get hammered by this storm though. Darn it! We always miss the big one!!

Well, all the kiddies went back to school today with the exception of Devin who was still vomiting and having asthma attacks last night so I kept him home.  I think I am going to take him to the doctor to get checked out even though I am sure he had the stomach virus which set off his asthma.  He has missed 18 days of school this year. I am sure its an all time record for him.

Food yesterday wasn’t very good. I had kids puking everywhere so the day was just screwed up.  I didn’t get a workout in either, so that is a must for today.

I wasn’t too sore from the 30 day shred. I was a tad sore in my shoulders. What was weird was I was sore in the crease of my arms (You know…opposite side of the elbow). WEIRD?? I haven’t got any running in this week, but will get back on that ASAP.

Weight yesterday was 229 up .2 pounds from the previous day.  I haven’t weighed in today yet. Hoping it isn’t up too much. Down would be great, but I’m not pressing my luck.

So plan today is finish Christian’s Walmart scholarship application online if his guidance counselor gets me the stuff back that I need to finish it.  Then I need to reschedule his visit next Thursday to NKU. I forgot last night when I scheduled it online that I will have to work that day. Then I need to schedule a visit to Georgetown College for him.  Then I need to get him started on all these scholarship applications. I have to take Devin to the doctor and stop by the Board of Ed to pick up my paycheck stubs. They never mailed them to me for some reason. Then go to the Middle School to pick up Devin’s work for the day and turn in his excuses.  Buy money orders for bills and mail them all out. My paycheck is gone.

Much to do and no time to do it! I’ll check in with you ladies later!

I’m below 230!!!! Finally!! I’m below 230!!!

Posted lodyangel on January 27th, 2010 | Filed under General | 6 Comments »

Weight this morning…228!!!!!  Finally! I have gotten below 230!  Its only taken me 3 weeks to see that number!! Yay!!! :)     :)      :)     :)   

I think there are many reasons that the weight finally decided to fall…#1 Tom is about over, #2 I am being much more careful about my diet and following the information that I am learning in the Dr. Phil and the Shrink Yourself book, and I have been pushing myself during my workouts.

I was going to run today and still might later, but Devin stayed home from school with his asthma, and then at 1:00 I got a call from Trini’s school that she was throwing up.  I think she is probably fine, but picked her up anyway.  There is a nasty virus going around. So I can’t leave the house right now.

So…workout today will be Jillian’s 30 Day shred (I’m scared!! I did that 2 mos. ago and was so sore I couldn’t hardly move for 3 days!!) TBL powersculpt, and DA core complete.

Food has been:

brunch: cheeseburger (RF cheddar) with pickles, on sandwich thins, and a few fries (baked), and a clementine. Dinner is gonna be a salad.

Well off to get all this done. May post more tonight.

Doing the work with Dr. Phil’s book

Posted lodyangel on January 27th, 2010 | Filed under General | 1 Comment »

I am reading the Dr. Phil book “The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom.” I have attempted to read this book several times before, but this time I am determined to finish it and get all 7 freaking keys to weight loss!!  What I am concentrating on tonight is making a list of things to do when I get the urge to eat to take my mind off eating.  Here they are:

Brush my teeth

Scrapbook

“Reborn” a doll

Genealogy

workout

take a bath

blog

Take a walk

Play wiifit

Check email

mani/pedi for me and Trini

Read

Pray

Nap

laundry

load dishwasher

clean out my car

Take Dog for a walk

sweep and mop the kitchen

Chew SF gum

look at my weight loss goals

write

lift weights

wash face/ moisturize

surf the web

sort out kids drawers

watch favorite show

Here are some ways I am going to combat overeating-which is the real reason I am overweight.

Measure my food

use smaller plates

Leave some food on my plate

Always eat at the table never in front of the TV or while out driving

Chew SF gum

Eat low calorie foods first (Apple before a meal, salad before the main course, etc.)

Tomorrow I tackle eating behaviors and pay offs!!

A good dieting day

Posted lodyangel on January 26th, 2010 | Filed under General | 2 Comments »

Today was probably my best day dieting-wise I’ve had all month.  This is what I ate: Brunch- 1 cheeseburger (burger, RF cheese. ketchup, mustard, pickles, and wheat sandwich thins ( in lieu of a bun- saves 40 calories and no HFCS)), 3 clementines; Snack- candy bar (cut me some slack, its TOM and BF bought it for me), Dinner- chili with a little cheese, 3 crackers, 1 pimento cheese (RF velveeta, RF miracle whip) on sandwich thins, and 2 clementines. I did great yesterday. No eating after 7:00!!! I also did good today beating the temptation demons-well except that 220 candy bar, but I will forgive myself that. BF, Devin, and Neice wanted to eat out. They went to McDonald’s and I refused to eat anything from there (which is why he bought me the candy bar later he thought I was mad). The candy bar was nutritionally deficient but a much better calorie choice than Anything from McDonald’s. So good job ME!

No workout today. The kids were home from school because winter returned yesterday with all its gnarly and blustery vengeance. We got an inch of snow which caused major traffic problems, so the kiddies stayed home. We are looking at a major snowstorm later this week if the low swings the right way. Weather men drive me nuts! I wish they would say..its gonna snow or its not.  But they will hem n’ haw until the night before the event before they will say for sure what the weather is gonna do! Then they still get it wrong!  Frustrating!!

Well off to start moving the kiddies toward bed and head there myself! See you all tomorrow!

Monday blahs

Posted lodyangel on January 25th, 2010 | Filed under General | 2 Comments »

I had to stay up late to pick Christian and my 3 neices up from church at midnight after they had spent the day with the youth group at Perfect North Slopes.  They had a great time, but were exhausted!  Christian stayed home today with the instructions to do his chores and then research every college in the surrounding area to find one he could go to for Computer Science.  He has done nothing as far as deciding where he wants to go and it is getting on my last nerve!! Times a wasting!!! I got called last night to sub half a day for a teacher friend of mine, so I thought staying up late wouldn’t be so bad. I went home after taking the kids over to Mom’s to get on the bus (Gavyn was crying. He really doesn’t like school!) and went back to bed and at 9:00 got a text message from my teacher friend who asked if I could come sooner because she was really sick.  So I got to school before 10:00 and here I am. Its an easy day as the kids have 2 specials back to back and then Lunch, so I only really have to teach this afternoon.

Breakfast was a hot dark chocolate…150 calories. Lunch will be a LC spinach and mushroom pizza,  3 clementines, a SF pudding, and 1T of Ranch Dressing. Dinner is up in the air but I am thinking LF or veggie burgers maybe, with a side of veggies.

I am going to try to stop eating after 7:00. Night time eating is a bad habit for me. I get hungry every night. It’s irritating. Last night at 11:00 I had 2 RF colby cheese sticks (60 cals) and 6 pcs RF Turkey (45 cals). I would have been happier if I had not eaten anything, but I had to sleep so…I gave in.

Workout today is going to be some form of running workout, either outside or on the Wiifit, and TBL scultping.

Well time to pick the kiddies up from  library.  See you chickees later tonight!