Posted lodyangel on August 18th, 2010 | Filed under General

Good Morning Chickees! Long time, no see, for some of you!

Well for those of you who are not my friends on fb…the first thing you need to know is that the BF has now been retired to the Ex!! 🙂 He moved out June 5th, and though ending a 15 year relationship was hard the first month or so, I have moved on and am not looking back. I wish I could detail all that has happened in the last few months, but it would take pages and pages. The short version is he moved out. At the time he wouldn’t tell me why and of course there was another girl. Her name was Laura. He moved Laura in for a week and then kicked her back out and tried to come back to me. Laura and I started talking and realized that he was still trying to play us both, so we both quit him. She has now become a good friend. He can’t stand that because now he can’t play us both anymore. She has moved on and so have I. He of course has another girl. This one was his first, well not be vulgar…but his first piece of @$$. She also has since been a prostitute while she was in college. So ewwwww!!! He is welcome to her and her to him. He still comes back every once in awhile and tries to worm his way back in, but I ain’t having it. We had such a strong attraction to each other. It was magnetic. We couldn’t stay away from each other. Well, it seems my magnet has flipped to the opposite end. Cause when he tries to come around me, it pushes me away. I know many of you who have been watching me go through it with him are saying “it’s about time!” And your right it is! I wished I had gotten to this point years ago! It would have made dating so much easier!!

As it is, I am just trying to have fun. I have 3 guys that I “talk” to that may end up as being more than friendship. One of them I guess you could call my “Friend with benefits.” Please don’t think I am a slut!! Lol! But I had been with the same man for 15 years and after we broke up it drove me nuts that he was the last one to touch me!! This guy, C, has been my friend for longer than I was with the Ex and I had kept in touch with him even though Ex hated it! (As a matter of fact, when we broke up he tried to make me promise I would never do anything with C. I didn’t promise. I wish I had now, just so I could have broken the promise since he never kept a promise he ever made to me. Lol!) I know petty…but well, the Ex has disrespected me more than Anyone should ever have to endure. A little revenge is good. The Ex, I have since found out, had messed around on me with C’s Ex-girlfriend, when they were together. So our going out, is a type of revenge since Ex didn’t want me with him at any cost, and she is always trying to get C back. Plus being with C helped me tremendously. It helped me cut that final tie I had to the Ex. So, its all good. BTW…The Ex does not know anything about me and C. He is a bit crazy…heck, A LOT CRAZY… so I keep it on the DL. Lol! He knows we are friends but that is all. So the revenge is in my knowledge that I did the one thing he didn’t want me too!! That’s enough for me…he never has to know. C and I talk everyday and we hang out about once a week. He’s a good guy, but he has that Ex drama going on all the time…I don’t wanna get in the middle of that. So things are good the way they are for now.

Guy #2 is a guy I have known since HS, but never really “known” til now. We went out one night on my first date!! He didn’t even kiss me good night! We have since talked and we rode around one night. He seems to be scared to make any type of move on me and that’s okay. I would rather take it slow with him. He’s obviously been burned…a bunch… and I like him in a way that could get me hurt too if I rush into anything. So we aren’t gonna do that. He’s pretty stable, has a son he adores, and doesn’t drink or do drugs. That right there is enough to make me wanna hang onto him. However, I am taking my time. I talk to him everyday too. I will call him “J” for future reference.

Guy #3 seems really nice but I am pretty sure he is going to remain in the “friend” category. My BIL worked with him and said he is psycho. Definitely don’t need or want that. Plus I am not really attracted to him. I’m calling him “M.”

I have reconnected with many of my friends from HS. I have went out with my friend “Carkie” who I have known since 3rd grade, SB- I have known since Elementary, Candi- I have known since at least HS if not before, TJ (a guy), who I have known since Kindergarten. I also have hung out with “Big Daddy-” Who I have known since HS, that was his nickname in HS and yes I still call him that. Lol! Oh and Moneeeka, who I have known since Jr High. So I have a lot of friends to keep me busy. It’s good cause the EX never let me keep my friends, so it is really good that I have reconnected with them.

The kids have had a hard time dealing with the break-up. They re getting better, but Devin is really having a hard time. He’s pretty angry with his Dad, and I get to deal with the brunt of all that anger, cause Dear ol’ Dad isn’t here to help. But I can handle it. After the 2 months I have had I know there is nothing I can’t handle.

Here’s a short version of what has went down this summer…BF and I broke up. My Cat and Best friend in the world, Chessie, was run over and killed. That almost did me in. At the time I had no friends and my family hasn’t been very supportive. That was the worst thing besides losing a human family member that could have happened to me. I am still grieving him terribly.
I got bronchitis and pneumonia and have been sick with it for nearly 2 months. I am feeling better but still have the horrible cough. I lost 25 pounds from the break up and riding bikes with my kids. When I got sick I had to stop. The last 2 nights I have felt well enough to go again, but I coughed a bunch! I had a breast cancer scare. I am still unemployed, and very poor! My son moves out and goes to College tomorrow. So many changes…

But even with things so awful I have to say they are better. I am decently happy, even though I have bad moments. But I have something I didn’t have before…I have Hope. And that is the neatest gift this break up has given me…cause I know there are better things out there for me.

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