Monday’s post
Good afternoon ladies.
I had a wonderful birthday weekend. Today is actually my birthday, but we celebrated this weekend. BF was especially wonderful to me. We went yesterday and ordered the family ring that I wanted. I went out to eat with my sisters yesterday. BF took me out to eat Saturday and then we laid on the couch and watched extreme movie (Which is extremely stupid). Yesterday was a little rough since I got upset about a few things. #1 Wal-Mart tire and Lube department being aholes and #2 My sister who I rent from saying some not so nice things. I won’t elaborate now but between it all I was a nervous wreck. BF and I went and looked at a house that was for sale. A pipe dream maybe, but oh how I would love to be able to buy a nice house. That’s still a few years away.
I am not dieting this week. I am just going to log everything I eat (without judgement) and then make sure I work out at least 5 days this week for 30 mins. I am getting back up on that horse, so I am taking it slow. I read the book “Such a Pretty Fat” by Jen Lancaster and their are quite a few things that resonate with me. She talks abou how she thinks her weight is a direct consequence of the fact that she does not want to grow up. Like a child she wants what she wants and she wants it now! I am the same way and I can see how so many of my problems are a direct consequence of my childish, spoiled rotten behavior. I can’t manage my money (though I am better now then I was). WHy? Because I would rather blow it on WHAT I WANT then pay bills. Not a very grown up attitude. I am fat because I can’t control what I put in my mouth. WHY? Because I hate the feeling of deprivation. I think this comes form my childhood. I grew up in a household of 5 children. Dad worked, and Mom stayed home. We weren’t really poor (not like I am now), but we certainly did not have extra money. Mom grocery shopped every Thrusday. This was the only day that there was any junk food in the house. We would eat it all up the first night it was there. So when I became an adult and could eat what I wanted I chose the fattening, heart killing foods that we were only allowed to have once a week. McDonald’s (we never went out to eat), twinkies, pop, anything sweet. I overloaded on it for many years. Now because of my attitude I am fat. BLAH!
One of the kids said something today that I found very offensive. We are doing a unit on dance ad we were talking about movements and I was showing them the difference between a stretch and a punch. One of the pervy boy said that when i stretched my shirt came up and another said “It’s not like we have not seen blubber before.” I was embarrassed and told the kid that what he said was very rude. I let it go at that because I didn’t want to call more attention to it. But its just another sign that its time that I do this once and for all.
Posted on March 9th, 2009 by lodyangel
Filed under: General
OMG! I find it so hard to navigate in the dark but do want to wish you Happy Birthday. You’ve come a long way in the years I’ve known you and you should be proud. The weightloss will happen.
Birthday Hugs!
HAPPY, HAPPY Birthday to you!!!!!!!
I can relate to the growing up and not having alot thing. Esp. when it came to food. My mom was a single mom since I was eight, there were three of us kids,and my father was a deadbeat, and all this was BEFORE the govt could garnish wages to pay child support. Once in a blue moon, my dad would give my mom $60 a week. Insulting!!! He is a dick, but I regress….the same as you. Any junk food, would come sparingly, and we snacked on alot of cereal. I wasn’t a fat kid, nor young adult, but when I got on my own, I felt this sense of hey, I can buy treats and eat them whenever I want. I think there are so many layers as to why we are the way we are today….
Use the comment from the kid to help support the change you desire!
I just wanted to cry reading your post today…the part about the boy. I teach preschool, and although none of the kids has ever commented about my weight, I live in fear of that! When we talked about opposites last week, I was so afraid that if we did fat and thin, or even big and little, that someone would pipe up with a comment about me. I feel for you and send wishes of weight loss your way!
I just read about your birth experience in Tammys journal. wow..a .true knot…that is what it is called. Kind of rare. That makes him special, ya know! LOL I was surprised to see they let her labor progress that far without rupturing her membranes. Where I worked, if it was a multip (someone who already had a vag birth) and they were being induced…the doc almost always wanted to head in around 7 cm. Even if it was the middle of the night.
i’m sorry about the boy at school, but i must say you sound like you handled it very well, although i know it must have hurt. i’m glad to hear though that you’re on the boat in fixing all the things you know you need to change. cheers to you for taking that step, since its the hardest step. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
http://3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/gottaloose4/
First off… HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am glad that you had a great day despite the A-hole at walmart and insensitive sis.
Second… the kid at school… OMG what is WRONG with these kids these days! They have absolutely no respect.
Third… I appreciate you post on my blog. It was horrifying. Last night as I was watching him sleep, I realized I will never get the image of him being pulled out from my memory. I just hope that it gets dulled over time by an array of wonderful images of him thriving and growing!
Happy Birthday honeybunch!!!!
I’m sorry you had a bit of a rotten weekend ;(
Hang in there babes - things will get better, much much better.
I just know it….
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Happy Birthday!!! Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it!
Happy Birthday here too. I posted on FB, but in case you didn’t get it.. happy Birthday again. Hope you had a wonderful day!
Instant gratification is a problem I think we all struggle with. We all KNOW we need to lsoe weiht to be healthier, look better, etc, but sometimes we WANT that cookie of that chip and nothing is going to stop us. That’s the inner toddler! Mine needs a nap!
About that kid who was rude.. this isn’t a reflection on you, but on parenting. I NEVER EVER would have been rude enough to say something like that to anyone because my parents would have really given me heck about it and I would have been punished. yes we may need to lsoe weight, but being overweight doesn’t mean rudeness is permitted!
Happy Birthday!!!