Chasing away Chubby

and I look like a beached whale.

But it is my fault.  I allowed my pneumonia (which isn’t completely gone…I am still coughing up stuff.  Ewwww!)to keep me down and now it has been weeks since I have worked out.  My arthritis pain is coming back   and I have gained some weight.    Enough that I feel it, I feel fat and uncomfortable in my own skin.  Can’t stand the feeling so it is back at it starting tomorrow.  A fresh week, a fresh start! I will be back to the one meal a day diet. Before you freak and chastise me know that I am a binge eater and once I begin to eat I have a hard time stopping, so all day I am on a liquid diet, white tea, jello, chicken broth, etc and I have a meal once a day.  Anything I want!!  And thus there is no guilt!  I usually manage to pick things that are reasonably healthy.  I don’t feel deprived, and are not tempted to cheat because whatever it is I am wanting I can have later.  I did this before and was crazy successful with it…26 pounds in 3 months, until I started to get sloppy with it.  “Oh I can have lunch, its only 200 calories it won’t hurt anything!  Yeah right!  Now I have gained almost everything back!! :grr:  The challenge is going to be school food.  I am going to have to stay strong anfd not eat lunch everyday and try to save my one meal for home.  It’s gonna be tough!  I love their chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, and cheesburgers.  (I will eat the cheeseburgers for my one meal a day!  Sorry I can not resist!) Thus why I have gained weight.  EVIL school food.  THe book “Skinny B*tch” says school food is evil!  I believe it!!

I am also going to rejoin curves this week.  The plan for tomorrow is to stay busy (I have plenty to do!) and eat my one meal.  Workout will be easy, probably yoga, gonna ease into this.

I can not believe how big my @$$ looked today!  UGH! I am just so mad at myself!

I got my graduation packet last week!  I am so excited to order my cap and gown!!   i want to order my class ring too (It is really GORGEOUS, but don’t know if I can afford it or not!)  I can’t wait to graduate!!  Student teaching is going well.  Next week is my solo week!  I teach EVERYTHING All week!! I am going to be so, so busy!

Thanks for all your supportive comments.  I wish I could say things are better with BF, but they are still rocky.  The whore that he was screwing around with awhile back is still causing drama.  He changed his phone number a week ago (Should have done that sooner, might have helped put an end to this) and all week she called his friend trying to get his phone number.  She is a real stalker and if it doesn’t quit after this I am going to get him to go to the DA to get a restraining order against her.  This has been going on for waaaay too long.  I am so done with her drama I want to puke.  On a positive note, and I am usually positive. :)  We had a great V-day.  He bought me a birthstone (aquamarine) ring with matching necklace and earrings.  He cooked me dinner (My fav, chicken fajitas) and we watched movies.   It was just quiet, peaceful, and sweet.  We had a wonderful, wonderful day.  Sometimes it feels like we are going to work things out and make things work and then other times it feels like it never will.   Sometimes we have Months on end when he is GREAT to me, and then other times when he is so much less than great.  It’s hard and well I am really tired of thinking about it right now!!

My ever growing list of things that are evil…
McDonald’s
100 cal packs of those little chocolate cupcakes.  Triggers binges BAD!
School lunches
BEn & JErry’s Phish Food…but Ohhhhso heavenly!
arthritis
fibromyalgia
pneumonia
My boyfriend   Well sometimes…
ice storms
migraines
fried pickles!  (Yummy!  We southerners fry everything and then dip it in ranch!)
stalker, gutter-slut, cracked-out, street whores

I’ll be back tomorrow!!